Life without Anorexia
My motto is 'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'
I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.
I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.
I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.
I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at: firstname.lastname@example.org
Thursday, September 4, 2014
Restrictive to binging - Answer
Hi Izzy :). I almost recovered from anorexia, but now, I started to binge...I can't stay without food, especially at night. During the day I have rare periods when I binge and then I purge, I vomit all the food, and then I say "Enough, it's the last time when I binge, and the last time when I purge", but then, in the night (every night), I start again to binge fruits, popcorn, peanuts. I tried to have regular meal during the day, but it doesn't worked, I still have craves in the night and I can resist without eating. I crave and I eat even the food I don't like. It's creepy how I eat whatever I have just to eat something. I almost achieved my normal weight and I am afraid not to become too fat because of those cravings and uncontrollable binges. I want all this to stop. Did you passed through this situation during your recovery or is just me? What can I do to control all this stupid uncontrollable eating?
Im sorry to hear that you are struggling and going through this binge/purge cycle. The first thing to think about is WHY you binge? What is it that is making you eat? This can be hard to know why, but try to figure out is it stress? Tiredness? Boredom? Or because you don't eat enough during the day.
If you aren't eating enough carbohydrates or enough energy through out the day you can get cravings, especially for things like fruit/bread/pasta/chocolate etc during the evenings. Or maybe it's just that you need some extra sleep or are very stressed?
Try eating more during the day and drinking plenty of water and tea is good as well. During the evenings drink plenty of water and maybe chew gum, and decide that you will eat dinner and a night snack but that you dont need to eat the whole contents of the fridge.
Make a meal plan for yourself with 5-6 meals per day. Make sure to have a good night snack, something that makes you full... oatmeal or something with protein is good. Have veggies available for if you feel that you are still hungry. Eat things that really fill you up, foods such as popcorn and nuts aren't that filling... instead maybe go for some bread or whole grain bread with toppings. Or oatmeal or some greek yoghurt with nuts and berries and maybe an egg or two (Just an example. I dont know what types of food you like).
Also try to distract yourself... if you feel you are binging out of boredom or just because then do something with yourself... go for a walk (if you're allowed.) read, draw, call a friend, maybe start a hobby in the evenings. Try to avoid just being in the kitchen or wandering to the kitchen, instead have set times when you eat... (of course when you no longer have these binge periods, then you dont have to have set times when you eat, but it can help also knowing what you are going to eat before hand can help keep the binges away.) Drink tea and water with meals to help fill you up.
But the most important is that you eat enough during the day. And if you binge DONT PURGE. Because trust me, its more likely that you will binge again later in the day or the next day. Instead, stay calm and keep the food inside of you. The food won't harm you, but the purging will. Also, if you purge you are more likely to binge again. And DONT compensate if you binge, then it will turn into a restrict-binge-purge cycle which i did go through during my relapse. The way i got through that cycle was by increasing my carbohydrate intake and eating more. Also returning to a meal plan, so i knew when and what to eat. I didnt have to think about it, and when i no longer binged anymore i began listening more to my body. Able to eat enough for my body and not binge.
Also, talking to someone about this. DONT be ashamed about this, going from restrictive to binge eating is more common than you think. And there is help.... but most important, find out (or try to figure out) why you binge and fix that problem.