Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Saturday, September 27, 2014

Prioritize and organize

I thought a little evening update would be good :)
    Today i have actually managed to do the things i wanted to do, and its only 6pm :)

After breakfast my step dad and I drove out to the outside gym where we often train at and did our workout, however my step dad started feeling winded and not so energetic, so it became a very calm workout... not what i had expected. But thats ok actually... in fact, good practise for me... When you workout with others you cant always do at your own tempo, speed or what you had planned. But to adjust to his speed, his energy. The workout became shorter and calmer than planned, But thats how it was. :)
   It was sunny outside c.a 13 degrees or something and well... i have a hard time letting go of the summer so wore shorts and a top.... And i didnt freeze luckily enough, i kept my heart rate up and kepy myself moving and we were directly in the sunlight so it all went well. THough im pretty sure this was my last time wearing shorts outside for the next 6 months or so :)

After that we came home, i showered quickly and was out the door again in 10 minutes. I bought myself lunch and then walked to the library  and there i sat for the next 3 hours. I had planned to sit for 4 hours, but right in the middle of my work where i was completely focused and typing like a crazy person. A lady working at the library came into the room i was sitting in and told me they were closing in 5 minutes... Not so fun as i was right in the middle of something. But now i know the closing time anyway.
   I love the libraries here in Sweden (or Stockholm anyway). Free Wi-Fi, student studying areas, books needed for research, quiet areas to sit and study.... that library will definitely be my new studying area during the weekends :) I feel so much more focused there when im not distracted by people walking aruond in the house, or going up to get something to eat out of boredom or checking my phone or things like that. The first 30 minutes it felt like i didnt know what i was doing, but the next 2,5 hours i sat there just working and reading and the time passed by so quickly!

^Lunch, salad, avocado, sun dried tomatoe, chicken, falafels and cottage cheese (Seriously... this is a dream combo!!! I could eat this 3 times per day its soo good :))

And since ive come home ive had a little snack, answered emails (though i said i wouldnt...  i felt i had the time and energy for it, so why not) and now im going to just rest in bed :)

^^How i woke up looking this morning ;) haha.

How have you spent your Saturday? :)


  1. I spent it in the kitchen, cooking 100 pancakes for my family and for my grandfather ... no joke about the number...

    And for the first time in the last 10 years I ate pancakes... 5 small pancakes..,.. I cried after eating them, feeling guilty but now I feel better.... crazy, I know...


    1. That is great about the pancakes :) Remember that pancakes is just food... good food, normal food. Energy for your body :) Helping your body. Healing your body :) Pancakes are delicious and should be enjoyed! You shouldnt feel guilty, and its great that you ate them!!! That progress and great progress :)

    2. Thank you, Gracie, thank you Izzy :)

  2. Your so beautiful!
    Im going on a school trip on Monday for a week im so nervous!The place we are staying is about 4 hours from where I am.One of the days we will be walking up a mountain so I need lots of energy.Im worried I wont be strong enough or i will be tempted to restrict cause im away from home.Ive been eating decently but abusing exercise.I dont care if I gain on the trip im more scared of losing.I also worry what people will think when they see me eating like two toasts cereal fruit and yoghurt for breakfast.Will they think im a pig?Health is the most important to me!Im also worried cause I get such bad anxiety and I am scared I wont sleep the whole week.Im sorry this is so long I just dont know what to do!Im taking some snacks with me like ricecakes,cereal bars and instant oatmeal to bump up my kcals.Your so awesome by the way!One day I hope I can be fully recovered too :)

    1. That sounds great with the trip! The important thing to remember is to eat ENOUGH and lots. Hiking up a mountain is TOUGH. It takes a while and requires alot of energy and if you dont want to lose you ened to eat. To make it easier for you bring things like granola bars, flapjacks, nuts, dried fruit, banana, chocolate etc... because really, cereal bars and rice cakes. They have next to no energy in them. By eating more calorie dense food you wont have to eat as much, so it wont seem like you eat lots. But really, dont care what others think. You need to eat. You need food.
      And with exercise... this i think will be a good opertunity for you to also learn to rest. You will walk/hike when everyone else does so, you cant follow your own rulse. You will sit with others, by campfires, relax etc and thats important as well. Exercise SHOULDNT be used to compensate. Its not a healthy mind set and you cant be fully healthy or recovered until you learn to relax and not use exercise as a way to only burn calories and compensate.
      So when you get back from this trip, make it your goal for the next week to only relax. Just focus on resting and recovering frmo this trip. And not eating less... focus on weight gain. This is for YOU and YOUR life and health.

    2. Thankyou so much!Im worried because I lost weight over the summer as wevwere hiking in the alpsvtwo weeks then travelling.We had no scales and it was hard to know how much to eat.I want to get back on track though!I also need to gain for winter or I will be freezing.Thankyou again :)

  3. {\rtf1\ansi\ansicpg1252
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    \outl0\strokewidth0 \strokec2 You look so beautiful in those photos! (Because you are :)) Ahaha, I do that sort of thing a lot. Wear clothes that don't suit the weather. Most of the time it's in the winter when I don't want to wear a huge winter coat and wear a lighter autumn coat instead ;) but now I won't have to worry about super cold weather because of change of climate. I love it when I really get into my work and am very efficient that way. I get a sense of accomplishment and get tons of work done at the same time. I'm so happy for you that you found a great study space :) So far I said goodbye to my older sister (for a little while) before she headed back to LA. We had friends (they are more like family) over and they spent the night so said bye to them. Soon I think I am going to my family's storage unit to see if there is some stuff we can use for our new house as it's pretty much empty. Then my great grandmother will come over and I will spend some time with her. She is such a great person and I love her so much :) and then hopefully my dad and I will workout. I'm really looking forward to our workout since for the past two days we weren't able to. We were to busy getting ready for my little sisters birthday so didn't have any time. Oh and I really want to get milk because we are out :( I love milk :) What a coincidence, both of us are working out with our dads today, ahaha! How is it exercising with your stepdad? Do you like it? For me it varies. Sometimes it's great when you have someone next to you and they can help/motivate/support you. And sometimes I'd rather workout alone and really concentrate, get some alone time :)\

    1. Not sure what the top bit was ;)
      And thank you!!!
      Sounds like a good day!!

      I only do aeroboxing with my step dad and that is super fun, i love it... but now as he is getting older he doesnt have as much energy and that. Whilst im just becoming more and more filled with energy, ahahh! But my sister has started doing boxing/aeroboxing with me as well so thats fun :) Most of the time i like working out on my own as its Me time. But other times its nice to workout with others as well!

    2. Ahaha, sorry. I don't know how that happened either ;) never happened before, hope it doesn't happen again :/
      That's great!! :)

  4. Your Saturday sounds a lot more productive than mine! Haha I spent the day trying to put out metaphorical fires because no one in my groups is doing anything :( usch, group work. I don't like it sometimes (99% of the time!!) Haha. I'm about to head to the library though because wow, I can procrastinate when I'm sitting at home! Gah D:

  5. Hi Izzy! Those cookies look so good! I want to bake too, but it's so hot here still! I have been meaning to use a mix I have...I spent my morning in the library-a nice big room with green reading lamps and busts of historical figures. It's pretty well known, and so a bunch of tourists kept coming in and taking pictures :( Thankfully I didn't get too distracted and finished what I needed to! Then I went shopping and got some nice smelling lotions and then came back to my apartment to watch a series...Less productive now...I'm reading a book called The Swan Thieves, so I will probably read more tonight. I made a really good snack when I got home so that was nice! I'm meeting a friend for brunch tomorrow. Which should be good--it's kind of strange even agreeing to go out to eat with friends and not feeling quite as anxious as I used to.