Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com

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Monday, September 8, 2014

In my head

A topic which has been requested on my blog is more personal, whats in my head posts. And of course i can write about that, though the thing is...there isn't so much in there to write out. At the moment my head is filled with school work, worrying about my test i have tomorrow, planning and organizing my life. Wondering when i will have time for the things i want to do.
   So i guess you could say my head is filled with worry, planning, and stress. And not much more...

I am very honest on my blog, i think that's what many people like about the way i write. That i don't hide the truth, but at times i think many like when i write somewhat negative posts. Or i write that i have a bad body image day, or i feel anxious or depressed. Its because these feelings you can somewhat relate to... but you cant relate to the happy or just everyday feelings or school stress (or im sure many can relate to that). But when my worries are merely whether i will get a C or an A on my test (or whether i will pass at all, infact). Or worrying about having time to wash my hair or when i will workout... these sorts of things might not be so relatable to you. Because your worries are so much more than that... you worry about calories, weight gain, fear foods, anxiety, guilt. And trust me, I've been there....

I remember when i was just wishing to be back at school and have normal people problems. When my worry wasn't about how i would cheat with lunch or how i would avoid eating at home. But just problems such as what to wear to school or whether i should skip my first lesson and sleep that hour longer etc
   And now i have those problems, normal people problems! Though infact, to me... they feel like nothing because Ive had it so much worse. The small problems or worries i have now, at times they can feel huge... but often i realise that they aren't as big as i might think they are.

However, back to the point of this post. At times i feel like i need to post some sort of negative post... saying how i hate life or i feel awful. But that's not the truth... Because i feel happy. I love my life and i also love my body. Granted, i have bad body image days... though not so often. If I'm bloated or dislike the way i look i focus on other things. Writing it out wont fix the problem, that's just giving it attention. And that's not what i want to do.... so i don't always write out when i have bad body image days.
  But also, like you may have realised on my blog I like to think positive. So if I'm having negative thoughts, i try to change them... make them better thoughts and this leads to me feeling happy.

I'm not putting on a mask or faking that I'm happy, but actually i am happy. And YOU can be as well.... it doesn't happen over night or with just one change or two. Its taken me YEARS to find this happiness, infact in all my years i've never felt this content and happy in my body or in my life. I have a sense of control, even if life is so uncontrollable and that really... i have no idea about the future. I still feel that i have my feet on the ground. And i feel happy.
   Though of course, i might look back on this post in a few weeks time when i feel I'm drowning in school work and stress and just laugh, haha... but so be it. Life changes, and then i might be writing a negative post about how i hate life and hate school. But for now, i will keep to my positive self and show that you DON'T have to feel negative. You don't achieve anything by walking around with  frown on your face and hating life.
   A positive life comes from a positive mind.

So what i want to say with this post is that.... at the moment, whats in my head is normal people problems. There is no negativity in there and I'm hoping there wont be any either :)


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