Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Friday, September 19, 2014

Hunger and fullness, the Mando method.

 How to recognise fullness, does tv or reading really distract you, what the mando method taught you? 

This post has been a long time coming, so im sorry to you who ask about this. It's taken such a long time to actually find time to write.
  How to recognize fullness? Well, i know ive posted this model 100 times before, but its a good one to follow.

How to actually recognize fullness? Well its different for everyone... for me, i stop eating when i am comfortably full... when its like i'm sure i could eat a fruit or a few more bites, but actually i am quite satisfied with the amount i have eaten.
   Personally, i still have it engrained in my head to finish the plate/bowl that i am eating. So say if i feel full but i still have a few bites left, i will still eat it because i don't want to waste but also i feel weird leaving a few bites of food left.
  Over time however i have learnt my portion sizes, ive learnt how much i can fit into my stomach when i am really hungry or just a little hungry etc etc So the amount i take always leaves me feeling satisfied and full. And if im not, then i take more.
  I like to think that after every meal i eat i should be full.. i shouldnt feel like i want more. Not physically anyway. Sometimes when you eat something so delicious mentally you just want more, you want one more slice but physically your stomach is saying no.
   So somedays when im really hugnry i eat every 1-2 hours and feel full after every meal, its just that i get hungry again quicker. And somedays its just 4 meals i eat  as i feel full longer.

Its good to also do the 20 mninute rule and to drink a glass of water. Often the body is thirsty and it takes 20-30 minutes for it to recognize that its full. If you arent satisfied after that, then take more. But this rule ONLY applies when you have eaten a normal portion. I mean if you eat a tiny bit of fish and 1,5 potatoes and a little salad, then no... you might not be full (or you shouldnt be full anyway). But if you eat a normal sized portion (HERE is a guide which might help you) adn wait and are still hungry, then it means you should eat a little more.

But also remember, in recovery you can feel hungry more often and more frequently. So called Extreme hunger where its like the food goes right through you. Even i have days or like 3 days where i feel like i could eat the contents of the fridge and pretty much do. There is nothing wrong with that.... though if you are a normal weight and still have extreme hunger, then i wouldnt say its a good thing.
Also if you have a meal plan - FOLLOW IT. Eat regularly and enough, the meal plan has been calculated for you. By following a meal plan you are more likely to get your normal hunger and fullness feelings back.

When i was at Mando i had a meal plan calculated for my needs which kept increasing over time as my body adapted to the calories. I felt very full after each meal, a big bloated belly and a tight feeling...  but that was because i had to eat so much and also stretch my stomach. My stomach size had shrunk so eating a normal sized meal would make me feel extremely full. I rarely felt hungry following my meal plan, my body didnt even have enough time to digest or process the previous meal before it was time to eat again. But thats how it is. In time, i did get my hunger and fullness feelings back. I started feeling hungry before the meals and a satisfied feeling afterwards. Somedays i even felt i could eat a little bit more... though these feelings came back when i started to do more things. When i just sat at Mando all day, doing nothing then i just felt a constant full feeling. But when i was at home and could more freely choose food and also what snack i was going to eat or what i was going to eat for dinner or lunch.
   I've written about the Mando Meter and Wii base HERE, so i dont feel like writing it out again. Though if you have any questions, just ask :)

When it comes to distracting yourself when you are eating... i have such mixed feelings about this. But i guess i will state my own personal opinion and that is, I think its ok with distractions when you eat.
 To read a book, to watch a film or TV, to study etc
Even now, i find it SUPER awkward to sit at the table alone, in silence and just eat. It might be because i like multitasking. I like getting 2 things done at a time, i.e i might as well eat while studying or eat while watching a series etc It  might even be a good thing for me to learn to just sit in silence and alone and eat.
 But then again, that isnt so normal either. Meals should be eaten with other people. Talking with other people, not just sitting in silence.

I think its good to be able to do both (or all 3...).. i.e eat while watching TV, not just focusing on the food. Eat in silence on your own, and just enjoy the food and taste. And also to be able to eat in a group and with others and jsut talk freely (no focus on food). (I am going to try write a post about eating infront of others or in groups as this has been requested, just give me a little time :))
  So practise all 3. Distractions while eating doesnt have to be a bad thing, it can help you cope with the anxiety because you dont just focus on eating. But also, if you always need a distraction to eat, then its not a good thing because you can't just distract yourself or have to have your mind somewhere else everytime you eat. You should be able to focus on  your food - without it being a negative thing - and enjoy it :)

Hopefully this helps you who asked the questions, and anyone else who had the same questions :)


  1. during recovery were you on high carb to meet the high calories intake you needed ?
    and now are you more on proteins or a lot of carb ?
    what is better to be on high protein or high carb?
    what do you think about the carb recovery to have more engergie and less unhealthy cravings?
    i am so frut and veggies craving that i tend to ignore carbs in my meals
    what group should most of my intake come from?

    1. I ate a lot og everything. My meal plan had a lot of nuts (70 grams per day), two pieces of fruit, two yoghurts, 3 dl juice, 8 dl 1% milk, 2 tablespoons of coconut oil, 2 dl oats, half a banana, 5 slices of brown full grain bread, 4 slices of full fat cheese, 4 slices of chicken fillet, 30 grams of avocado, 2 topped tablespoons liverpatè (?), one salmon fillet, 40 grams uncooked rice, 1 tablespoon pesto, 100 grams of vegetables + vegetables on all my bread slices, 1 nutrition drink consisting of 45 grams of carbs, 15 grams of fat and 20 grams of protein = 400 kcal! This is an example of foods. I followed my meal plan and I had options - for example I could eat pork, beef, chicken etc instead of salmon for dinner, or I could have jam or even peanut butter on my bread slices instead of cheese etc. I think it's very important to eat different foods from day to day. My meal plan consisted of 4 big meals and 3 smaller meals. But I was very full all of the time. My meal plan had a lot of fat, which is a perfect way to nurturing your body and building up organs etc. carbs gives your body energy and helps fill your glycogen stores! A recovery with little carbs makes no sence to me XD Protein is important in order to build up your organs muscle etc. I am very happy with the way I ate - I had stable blood sugar levels all the time and I felt soooo energized!!! And happy!! Give your body nurturing foods and it will thank you! But don't be scared to fill up with some treats as well. But most important is the foods that provide vitamins, energy etc to your reconstructing body.

    2. How do / did you cope with stomac distress?
      Sometimes i feel so bad that i can hardly eat and if i force myslf (because i can not afford skipping a meal) it just get worst?
      what shall i do when this occurs? Eat less at the next meal, skip snack or just bite the bullet and get on with it what ever i feel ?

    3. With the stomach distress it's important to eat and not skip meals. even if it's tough and causes pain. eat the amount you should because eventually your stomach will adapt. :) It's tough but it gets easier :)
      && i will write about carbs/protein/fat in a post :)

    4. I think coconut oil works wonders for stomach distress! It makes the food pass more smoothly through the system. Unlike other fatty acids, coconut oil is absorbed rather quick and doesn't make you feel SO full as if you were to have a table spoon if soy oil in your food. My advice is to eat if it says so in your meal plan. My stomach got used to the amounts after a few months (maybe it was 3-4. Don't remember really) and after that I was still full, but not uncomfortably.

  2. I agree about the distractions. I mean, it's no fun eating alone in peace and quiet. I wouldn't want to stop watching movies/TV/series and eating at the same time. Of course sometimes eating with no distractions is just what you need. But say if you are alone at home and theres nobody to talk to it's just sad/boring to eat in complete silence. I think eating with family/friends/company is great. Long time ago I read somewhere that it's actually good for one to eat with company, talk a little at meals etc. On the other hand sometimes all I want to do is enjoy my food because it's so delicious with no one talking in my ear, ahaha! :) a muxture of everything I think is best if that is possible for you :)

    1. Yes exactly :) If i am home alone - often during the school weeks, then i eat in my room and watch a series because i think its weird to sit alone at the kitchen table.. haha ;) But a mixture of both is good :) Somedays you need peace and to eat laone, other days you want to eat with company!