Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Tuesday, September 16, 2014

How to get past the fat feelings

The first thing to do when it comes to fat feelings is to realise that they are Feelings, and not the truth.

But also, fat feelings are often something else. Because well, you can't feel fat... I mean, i can't feel skinny or feel toned etc... You can look it, and i mean there are times when you just think Damn i look good... and its almost like you feel a certain way. But that feeling is not feeling thin, but its feeling happy. Because you put your happiness in the way you look.

When it comes to fat feelings its often due to anxiety, stress, anger, irritability, sadness, tiredness.... For me, when i get fat feelings its either 1) due to hormones and that time of month or its 2) because i havent eaten enough and am tired. Then i can end up feeling fat, though i know that the truth is i amnt. Why would i suddenly go from feeling good in my own body to suddenly being fat?
But also, the feelings can be triggered by things like fullness, stress, bloating. But those are just normal bodily feelings, they shouldn't make you feel fat. Its ok to feel full, its ok to bloat, its ok to eat. So those types of feelings shouldn't be connected to negative feelings.

I suggest that you write down when you get the fat feelings and what has just happened, what are you thinking, try to analyze your own feelings.Yes, i know i sound like a therapist now and you might be thinking... i feel fat. I dont feel anything else. I am fat. But you know the truth.... and think like this, if you are underweight or in recovery and need to gain weight. The chances of you being overweight are very unlikely (if you need to gain weight, that is.)
   But then maybe you are more on the curvy side or are bigger and have fat feelings, thats ok as well. There is nothing wrong with that, but once again... they arent feelings of being fat. They are something else... and you need to tackle those feelings.

You also need to ask yourself what is so wrong with being fat? Having fat. We ALL have fat. I have fat. If i lean over or sit down i get tummy rolls... i can pinch fat from my stomach, arms, legs etc... Do i do it? No i dont. Because it is ESSENTIAL FAT. Fat which i need on my body. It keeps me alive. It keeps me warm. So what if i gain some more fat, that wont harm me in any way. Neither would it make me any less me, it wouldnt make me any unhappier or make me hate my body.

You need to realise that fat is something which your body needs and some naturally have and need more of it than others. However, DONT look at those people who compete in fitness competitions or have very low fat procent because that ISNT healthy. Both males and females need a certain amount of fat, and you need to get rid of the fear of having fat on your body.

Back to the actual fat feelings. You need to challenge them. You cant let those thoughts ruin your day, let them control you, or let your ED steer you. You STILL need to eat, ALL your meals even if you feel fat. Because i can guarantee you, you wont feel better by restricting. You might get an empty feeling, get a hunger feeling which some think equals being strong or happy or being thin. But that is not the case. You need to eat, fill your body with food. Go against the voice in your head. Its tough, but just listening to the voice in your head wont make you feel better or make those fat feelings go away.

Instead, put on some comfy clothes. Maybe avoid those skinny jeans or that tight black dress... or Hell, maybe wear those clothes. Defy your ED and show that actually, you can have fat feelings but still leave the house wearing a tight dress or a tight top. You shouldnt be ashamed of your body.
   But i often find that when i have those types of thoughts wearing more baggy and loose clothing can be comfortable.  Drinking tea to soothe your stomach and drinking water if you are bloated, and know that the bloating will pass. Give it time!!!¨

The fat feelings will pass as you get stronger. They come and go and even when you are recovered you might have days where you feel fat, but its important to remember that its not fat you are feeling. Its somethign else, and knowing what it is you are actually feeling can help solve the problems and feelings.

It can also help to write out on a piece of paper, I am NOT fat. I need fat on my body. And keep repeating it or writing it until you believe it and feel better.
  Or writing small positive notes and putting around the house or in your journal :)

I hope that these tips help if you are struggling with fat feelings. But know that they will pass, whether it takes a week, a month or several months... but you cant let them control you. You have to be stronger than them.


  1. Hej, det är såhär att jag tränar tennis en gång i veckan + fysträning, och jag vet inte riktigt hur jag ska lägga upp fysträningen. Jag har tillgång till hopprep, repstege, matta och ev medicinboll, och självklart en tennisbana (men den delas med andra). Jag har äntligen fått börja spela tennis igen och jag är överlycklig, men min fråga till dig är, om du kan ge några tips på övningar (kondition och styrka) som jag kan utföra själv :)
    Btw, jag älskar din blogg och den har hjälpt mig mycket (och fortfarande gör).
    Tacksam för svar snarast :)

    1. Hej, vad glad jag blora tt du tycker om min blogg, och att du får börja träna igen :) Kom ihåg att börja sakta, och sen trappa upp om du känner att du vill!
      Med övningar, jag vet inte om du vill träna hel kropp eller vissa muskler etc men har är några styrke övningar som du kan sedan sätta ihop som en circuit så det blir kondition också :)

      Burpees, push ups, squats, jump squats, lunges(utfall), plank, reverse crunches, dips, tricep push ups, back extension (super man), hip raises (på bänk eller boll), jägarvila, sumo squats, squat ball press (tränar axlar också om du använder medicin bollen), mountain climbers etc

      Där är lite ävningar iaf :) Hoppas de hjälper!