But you cant fool yourself into staying in this place... thinking that this is all there is. Because it isnt. There is MORE to life than half recovery and you cant give up there... you have come so far. You need to keep fighting.
If you want to read about my half recovery and advice on how to overcome this stage click HERE
When i was half recovered i felt fat... i felt HUGE. I had this fear that when i reached my healthy weight, after gaining another 5kg i would be even bigger. But its now when i look back at photos from that time that i realise how skinny i was, that i didnt look healthy. And that those 5kg DID make a difference to my mental health. I still had ED habits and thoughts and was still depressed. But with the weight gain it brought energy and strength to help me really recover.
One thing which i find sad though is that i have had people tell me, mainly through my blog that i looked better at this stage... when i was half recovered. That i was still skinny and pretty, i looked good and that that is there goal body... Hearing this makes me sad. I was STILL underweight and i was FAR from healthy. I binged, purged, restricted, self harmed, was depressed. I wasnt healthy. And aiming for that body - an underweight body, SHOULDNT be someones goal.
Whether someone thinks im prettier then than now doesnt make much difference to me, because i am happy with my body now. I dont need anybody elses approval, but the fact that an underweight body is seen as a goal weight and perfection is the thing that scares me and makes me sad. It shouldnt be that way.