Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Thursday, September 25, 2014

Gaining weight while strength training

I have gotten a few emails and comments recently about weight gain and strength training. Many are scared to strength train because it means they might gain weight...

The first thing i want you all to do Is to throw away the scale and just not care about it if you strength train. In all honesty, you shouldnt care about the scale anyway. But when you strength train the chances of gaining weight (muscle weight) increase... also your body retains water, adding to weight gain. And that can freak people out. But the scale merely tells you your whole body mass... your mass to the ground. It doesnt tell you whether its bones, muscles, fat, organs etc
  So the scale isnt such a reliable method.

Also when you strength train, seeing the scale go up is a positive thing. Its a sign that you  are progressing, that you are getting stronger.
  Because strength training is about getting stronger, about building muscle in one form or another. Because you cant get stronger without getting more muscles. And muscles weigh... so if you strength train, accept the fact your weight might go up a little. However, the only noticeable thing about it is that you might get more toned/bigger muscles or look more "toned" (hate that word, but couldnt think of a better one right now).
First thing is first... Ask yourself why you want to strength train? What is it you want to achieve? I have had a few too many people tell me they only want to strength train so that they dont gain weight in fat...  Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. And then ive had people tell me they want to strength train but don't want to gain fat or become 'bigger'. Once again, wrong. wrong. wrong.

Ill begin with, first off... your only reason to strength train SHOULDNT be just so that you dont gain fat. Because your body NEEDS fat. There is no escaping that. And only gaining muscle wont make your body healthier, infact you just stress it even more because you exercise too much and your body is still not healthy. So you might not get your period back and too much exercise can make your period be gone for a long long time. And for guys... well strength training too early and not having enough fat isn't healthy for you either.
 Fat is essential on the body.
 But also, when you strength train you gain both muscle and a little fat... its not like you purely gain muscle not unless you have some perfectly made food plan and your body jsut behaves in the right way. I've gained and lost fat since strength training.. though to me, that isnt so important. For me, i strength train because i love it.

Wanting to change or shape your body... there are positives and negatives to it. I dont think you should focus all your attention on changing your body, that wont bring you happiness because you will ALWAYS see something wrong. Something you want to change or dont like. But of course having a goal like, i would like a bigger butt or more toned arms... that doesnt have to be a bad thing. For me, one of my goals was to have more toned arms because all my life i have had stick thin arms. They looked disproportionate to my body and i didnt like it. So i did something about it and feel so much more happier with my arms now... but in general, 99% of my strength training is because i love it. And that 1%... well yeah, i like how my body changes in a positive way. I'm not going to lie about that :)

And then onto not wanting to gain weight or get bigger...Well its not like over night your legs go from super skinny to super muscular. Or your arms go from stick thin to huge biceps. Its a process and takes months to happen... Of course, it does happen that you wake up and think, 'wow,when did this happen'. But it happened over a longer period of time, its just that its small changes all the time.
   There are different forms of strength training, so unless you are doing the strength training where your focus is to build muscle and you use heavy weights, low reps & lots of food and enough rest and do that for years on end. You really dont need to worry about getting bulky.
  But there is even endurance training, resistance training, body weight training and all of that is also strength training. But lets not forget things like HIIT, swimming, circuit training, boxing... that's all strength training in some form as well and helps 'tone' (once again, lack of better word) your body.

You shouldn't be scared of weight gain... though of course, it all depends on circumstances. But when it comes to strength training, weight gain isnt a bad thing.
   Changing of your body... if you do strength training for a longer period of time then yes... your body changes. And it can become 'bigger'

I am now noticing that some tops dont fit me so well, many of my dresses from 2 years ago no longer fit. And also my jeans..... well, they just dont work at all. haha. As im so tall and have sort of muscular legs but also a thin waist/stomach, its almost impossible to find jeans that fit properly. But i guess thats just something i have to deal with.
    But your body changing and becoming 'bigger'... its not like you expand 5cm each time you strength train. And if it happens that you feel like say... your arms are becoming too big. Then its just to stop training them.

If you enjoy strength training, then do it. But i think its important to know your reason for wanting to strength train.... if its just to gain muscle so that you dont gain fat. Then check your priorities and ask yourself if your health truly matters to you. Because fat is essential on your body and not something you can avoid!!!


  1. "throw away the scale" ??????
    No Way, are you kidding !!! Over my dead body...
    I can not do it, someone else will have to do it by sneaking into my room to do it...
    I do not know if I could live without my scale.
    I know i shouldn't but I step on it every morning...I try to refrain ......

    1. i love you, whoever you are. You can recover and you will be stronger than ever. Please don't feel like you an't live without a scale, because the truth is, YOU CAN!! remember life without a scale-- how carefree life once was. You can have that back, but it's up to you. xoxo <3

    2. Some days I feel so skeptical about a possible recovery and some days I am convinced I will recover
      Some days I just think that amnesia would be the solution to everything!!! Wake up a morning and not rembering that I was anorectic.

      Gracie, still thank to, nevertheless, trust in me ... More than I trust myself....
      Will just keep two words of your message: "YOU CAN"

      I CAN I CAN I CAN I CAN I CAN I CAN I CAN I CAN I CAN I CAN I CAN I CAN I CAN I CAN I CAN .................................................

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  3. Thanks for this post! I really want to get into weight training, the only problem is I don't know where to begin. I really hate cardio but I enjoy doing strength training at home, it helps to relieve stress and take my mind of things. But when I go to the gym I don't know how to use the weights or what exercises to do. I've looked at some Youtube videos but I would feel stupid trying to do them at the gym in front of everyone :( How did you start weight training?

    1. Sorry, I'm not Izzy but I thought I could help :) I recently started strength training and I love it! But at first it was a little scary. It seemed like everyone knew what they were doing except me. And when I actually started using the machines, well, on some it took a while to figure out, hahaha! But I got lucky because I go to the gym with my dad and he was standing next to me while I was figuring out most of the machines. So it wasn't so scary after all :) And with weights watching youtube videos may help. Also watching what other people do, I'm not saying you should stare, that would turn out a little creepy/awkward, ahaha! At first it may be a little weird, you're not really sure what to do. Writing out a plan can help a lot. That way you already know what you are doing and don't have to worry about it. Also knowing your time limit, just planning ahead :)
      What I'm trying to say is everyone starts somewhere. That muscular guy wasn't born that way. His muscles didn't just appear out of nowhere. And he too had to learn about strength training. That girl who looks so fit, I bet she was hesitant at first too, thinking people would judge het at the gym. So don't worry so much. If you keep on strength training you will get the hang of it and soon newbies will be looking at your performance to see if they're doing something right. You will feel more comfortable and confident. I personally don't pay that much attention to others at the gym. Yeah sometimes I look at someone's technique just to make sure I'm doing everything right. Or sometimes people are just there and you can't help not looking at them because there are so many. And if I see that someone isn't so confident or doesn't quite know what they are doing I won't judge. I mean I was in the same situation as them and I am still learning a lot. I would love to help them if they needed it :)
      This isn't so much about strength training than it is about confidence. But it seemed like you weren't so confident, just like I was, so I thought I could help. I got more comfortable and so can you! :)

      Thank you for this post Izzy! It really helped :)

    2. Ive written posts about it :)

  4. I would like to ask that do you exercise 8 times per a week? I would like to know how you have time to exercise so much and also to do your school things done? I wonder were you allowed to exercise 7 times per a week in 2012? I wonder if you exercised 11 times per a week last year?

    1. What? No i have MAX 6 workouts per week... How i have time, well i prioritize it. Its something that is important to me, its my Me time and makes me feel better, its something i love doing it.
      When i first began exercising i was only allowed to exercise 2 or 3 times per week and after a weeeks i was allowed more and did maybe 5 workouts per week.... and how and what and how long i workout for has changed alot since then :) No... ive never done 11 workouts in a week. However, i dont count them either. I take each day as it comes... at times it can happen say i workout on my own in the morning and then do a workout with my sister later, but that doesnt happen often and i always eat lots so that i have energy.

  5. Do you really weigh over 60 kg at present?
    You look less than 60 *o*

    1. I have no idea what i weigh... but im pretty sure im in my normal 62-65kg ;) So dont worry about that.
      Remember you cant judge just by the way someone looks, but also... weight isnt so relevant to me. To healthy people, the number on the scale doesnt say much... of course if i were to lose weight and become underweight, then it wouldnt be goood... but otherwise. It doesnt really matter to me whether i weigh 60kg or 65kg because its all in my normal weight range! I focus more on a healthy body and a healthy MIND (most important to me!)

    2. Sorry for asking that: what is you height?