Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com

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Friday, September 5, 2014

F**k you, eating disorder

"Fuck you, eating disorder.
Fuck you for ruining my life for two, three years.
Fuck you for making me feel like I was dead.
Fuck you for making me want to die.
Fuck you for trying to murder me.
Fuck you for taking away the real me, my personality.
Fuck you for making me depressed, sad, anxious, lonely, antisocial, hateful, suicidal, completely fucked up.
Fuck you for making me starve
Fuck you for making me binge and purge
Fuck you for making me fear foods
Fuck you for making me count calories
Fuck you for making me cry and cut myself I ate 20 calories too much.
Fuck you for making me cut words "Perfect", "Fat" and "Failure" on my skin.
Fuck you for making me believe you love me
Fuck you for making me fall in love with you
Fuck you for telling me lies all of the time.
Fuck you for making me believe that you're the only thing that's left of me. 
Fuck you for sacrificing my dreams
Fuck you for making me feel cold all of the time.
Fuck you for making me go for a run in -20 celcius. 
Fuck you for making me look like dead.
Fuck you for making me underweight
Fuck you for making me believe I'm still fat and ugly
Fuck you for making me feel like I'm not good enough 
Fuck you for making me want to be perfect 

Fuck you for making me lie to my parents, to my doctors, to my friends.
Fuck you for making me lose my friends.
Fuck you for making me try to kill myself when I just couldn't take you anymore.
Fuck you for bringing me to the hospital twice.
Fuck you for getting me almost tubed
Fuck you for making me addicted to numbers, and let them rule my life.
Fuck you for making me tired, dizzy and sick.
Fuck you for making me use all of my energy to do your shits
Fuck you for making me use all of my days purging.
Fuck you for making food my biggest enemy
Fuck you for not letting me eat the foods I like
Fuck you for making me steal my grannys recipe pills to lose some water from my body
Fuck you for making my hair fall, my skin look grey and pale and get dry.
Fuck you for making my heart almost fail
Fuck you for ruining my teeth
Fuck you for giving me nightmares about eating
Fuck you for making me feel like I'm not skinny enough
Fuck you for making me obsessed about my weight
Fuck you for making me write suicide notes
Fuck you for making me feel like my life is over.
Fuck you for making me feel like all hope is gone.

Fuck you anorexia bulimia orthorexia and all the kinds of eating disorder.
Fuck you for everything you are.
I'm stronger than you."

http://kuiskauksien-kaiku.blogspot.fi/2014/08/fuck-you-ed.html

1 comment:

  1. That's phenomenal that you over came your disorder. It's really hard and I'm so happy you're in a better place now.

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