Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Saturday, September 27, 2014

Advice given to a reader

One of my readers in a time of struggle sent a message to one of her favourite recovery blogs and she got a lovely reply. She sent me both her message and the reply and asked if maybe i could post it on here.
  I thought the reply give by   was a really good reply! Ive also followed her Tumblr and her previous blog so i know her story and think she is also an inspiration many (though i know Lin has gotten critique because all her food pictures look so good and because she eats a certain way... but i dont think its up to anyone else to judge her.)

anonymous asked: lin, please know i am writing to you in tears not sure where to turn. i don't know why i am choosing to ask a person online for help.... but you were the only person who i can think of right now to ask . i hate myself, i never give myself credit, i never feel like i can do enough, be enough, look good enough, or be enough of anything . going back to anorexia would match how i feel... like disappearing and wasting away and maybe dying.... i don't know why i can't hold on to the wisdom in me and
Power on through this tough time. But I feel like I won’t ever love myself enough to make it through life. I want to be able to have pancake stack and chocolate without being so damned guilty I could hurt myself. I want to not weigh myself and just love myself. I just want to love myself. I want to live. But I also want to just tear my skin off and get out of this body and this world with its image and society. To just move on. Elsewhere. But i just don’t know how to keep going. Can I do this?

Hello Anon :( I am so so sorry that you aren’t feeling good at all, I wish honest-to-God that I can reach through your screen and give you a massive hug and a box of tissues and a mug of relaxing tea or whatever you like, please don’t cry! Thank you for being brave enough to talk to me. To feel so badly about yourself is always a terrible, terrible feeling. Please treat yourself kindly and take a few deep breaths.
The thing is—you told me you want to live. Despite all the bad thoughts, everything rushing at you now like a freight train, all the horrible icky feelings that are threatening to bring you down, there is that spark in you. That spark that is struggling to keep you swimming. Don’t give up on yourself, anon! Life will always have it’s ups and downs. When the going gets tough, sometimes you fall, and sometimes it’s awfully, awfully hard to get up. We all know that. Each fall is different to each person, and everyone has their own struggles. Right now, you are facing yours.
There is always a reason to keep fighting. And right now yours are pancake stacks with chocolate. A life without a constant reliance on the scale for happiness. Days where you truly live, a life not lived in fear of something that is supposed to give you life. Can you imagine a life where you are free—where you wake up with a clear mind and do not constantly worry, and go to bed smiling? It is waiting for you. There is a will in you to live, a desire for a better life and I am telling you that it is there, and it is glorious, and you will never ever want to go back to the demons and the despair and the dying. If you think you will never love yourself, then you will not. Be brave, anon. Think of the heart that is pumping through your veins despite the cloud of depression over you—determined, against all the odds, to keep you going. Beating with no rest, beating bravely, beating strong. Think of your eyes, that crinkle up when you smile and go wide when you are shocked and are filled with joy when you are happy. Think of your legs that are always there to carry you on, your little cute toes that move you through life. Think of your arms that can create happiness through a hug. Think of everything that you are—not against the backdrop of vastly untrue and unrealistic societal standards of beauty, but in the whole beautiful picture of life. You are a miracle. Your body is a miracle. Your soul is a miracle. You are so, so amazing. Think about it—you can love, you laugh, you can feel emotion, you can run and you can jump and you can swim and you can do so many things. You.
And despite your thoughts roaring at you now, despite how much you want to give in, there is still that voice. Saying “No—I want to live!” The wisdom in you that is just there waiting for you to take it’s hand. Be brave enough to just reach out, grab hold of it, cling on grimly. It may not be as large as you wish, it may seem shaky and unstable. But do not underestimate yourself—the first step is always the hardest. Be brave enough to say “No” to everything screaming at you now; be brave enough to give yourself the love you deserve; be brave enough to see that what is trying to drag you down are merely negativity built on a foundation of lies. Because you aren’t any of those. You are good, and beautiful, and wonderful, and everything perfect in the world. Even though I may be several flights and seas away, I don’t have a doubt in my heart that you are all of those. You have more strength than you know, and you have a life ahead of you that has too much beauty and potential to be stunted by things that aren’t even true.
We can heal by coming to accept that surviving in concert with our bodies and our needs — our valid, justifiable, legitimate needs — is the healthiest way to live. Acknowledge that you are living. Accept that you are not everything the bad thoughts are saying. And above all, know that you can get through this tough time. In the meantime, if you have any suicidal or relapsing thoughts at all, please talk to someone. Make sure you are safe, please :(
I want you to live healthily and happily in every aspect, snowballing wonderful memories as you go, adventures and dreams. One day you will look back and see how very brave, how very strong and how resilient you were to overcome such a fatal disease and save your very own life. One relapse doesn’t mean you can’t recover—your journey back to health will have bumps and forks and times where you feel lost and want to just give up or turn around, but if you keep going I promise you you will be so happy, so vibrant, so very thankful you went on. We only have one head to live in—make it a beautiful, positive place to be. It doesn’t happen overnight, but it is very, very possible, and so worth fighting for—you deserve this.

1 comment:

  1. Anon, even though I don't know you I am absolutely positive that you are wonderful, beautiful and worth life. It can seem impossible now, trust me I know, but one day you will realize that it was so worth it! You may think I'm being hypocritical or something, but I really believe I won't be sorry I didn't go back. In fact I think if you truly fully recover you don't want to go back at all. You'll be so, so glad you stayed strong. It can sound like so far away, like you will never be able to eat without guilt and love yourself. But that's not true. Because if you do decide you will do this, you will. Every step counts no matter how tiny it is. Stay strong!
    To Lin, I think you give really good advice and your writing is very good :)
    And (at last, hahaha!) to Izzy, thank you for posting this :)