Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Monday, August 4, 2014

Working hard all day

At the moment i am battered and bruised and extremely tired. Physically anyway, not mentally though i only got 5 and a half hours sleep last night!

Today has been a good day, but alot tougher than on Thursday, also the day seemed to drag by.... it was alot of looking at the clock and longing home. Today it was tough work. And i thought it was tough on Thursday. Today i lifted/pushed 6 x 50+kg fridges down for 3 flights of stairs. (there were 15 fridges in total i think?) several sofas. I lifted chairs and tables up for 3 flights of stairs. I even had to help carry boats and boat shelters (as the festival was on a dock and we had to help put everything back to place). I loaded carts, i picked up heavy cement blocks. I carried large fence/barriers..... And so much more... i cant even remember it all. But c.a 8 hours work (10 hour pass but there were a few pauses!)
  Today was also one of the hottest days in Sweden so my top was almost constantly wet and my face covered in sweat. Remembering to drink water was tough... alot of diet cola instead.
   There came a point where i was wondering, what energy am i even running on. Because its not sleep and its not food and well, my body doesnt have much reserve energy anyway. But i kept going, i felt tired but not exhausted!!

One thing which i am so proud over is how strong i actually am... being able to carry heavy objects, lift them etc infact many thought i was most probably a weak little girl but once they saw me in action they actually told me i was super strong! Also the sort of head manager there, the guy who was in charge complimented me for how well i was lifting the heavy objects. That i used my legs and not my back and i told him i did training and was good at it :)
  Later he told me that he would actually like to mayb recruit me for later festivals and concert jobs as i seemed very strong and capable of that type of work :) :) So thats fun!!! Whether i will get any jobs or not, i dont know. And even if its tough, i still love it! I feel strong, i love doing physical work and if its a part time job and i get money. Then i dont mind :):) I get to learn cool new people as well!

But one thing, i felt sorry for the people who had no strength at all... i was working with a girl who had no strength or endurance and it just made it even more difficult for me as i had to take douvble the amount of work and she kept going to sit down all the time or just standing and watching. So that kind of sucked, no team work there anyway!!!!

Now im home again and feeling tired... when im in action, its like i forget everything else. If it wasnt for the meal times - lunch and dinner which was served i would have completely forgotten to even eat or drink. (Which is very unlike me as food is like my number one thing :) hahaha) I dont feel the tiredness, or even soreness in my muscles until now... when im lying in bed. Its also now i notice all the bruises and scratches.... -_-' Looks like someones attacked me.

^^You cant really see all the bruises

^^I have huge red scars and bruises on both arms and shoulders, though once again... hard to get a picture of

For now, i am going to enjoy some chocolate and series watching. And just not look on social media at all as i feel that now my body and mind need a break. So ill write when i feel i have the energy or motivation for it... whether its in an hour or 2 days from now.

1 comment:

  1. Not getting enough sleep sucks. But now you can rest. I love going home to rest after a long day of work. Hope those bruises heal soon. :)