Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Sunday, August 3, 2014

Why i dont count calories

Standing in the kitchen eating salted peanuts by the handful i suddenly thought, i wonder how many calories im eating right now? And that was all it was to that.... no trying to figure out how many calories i actually ate. How many gram in a handful of salted nuts. No panicking because they are salted and not natural. No thoughts of how much have i eaten today already? How much have i exercised? How much can i eat later?

I eat food not numbers!!! I eat what i am craving right then and there ... whether its 2 portions of chicken and noodles and 5 handfuls of salted nuts and an hour later half a tub of ben and jerrys. It doesnt matter what i ate before or what im planning to eat later, i trust my body enough to know that when im hungry i can eat what im craving.
   My body is not some type of calorie counting machine. Just because i overeat one day doesnt mean i will gain weight, just like if i undereat one day doesnt mean i will lose weight. Its about balance... if i were to continuosly overeat for a while i would gain weight, just like if i was to undereat for a while i would lose weight.

My body doesnt know whether i just ate 80 calories or 100 calories. It just uses or stores the energy (for later use).
    To me, counting calories is useless because if im honest i dont actually know how much my body needs. And thats just the thing.... How much your body needs is different everyday. Days where i do lots of exercise i need more energy than days where i dont... but then on my restdays my body needs energy to repair and recover so it still needs alot of energy. Somedays i am just sitting/lying in bed all day and then i dont feel as hungry as im not doing as much. My body signals how much energy it needs... its not like my body telsl me, today i need 2200 and if you eat 2210 you will gain weight. Its not a maths game....

And if im talking calories.... well in general, your body cant tell the difference between 100kcal of banana or 100kcal of biscuits. Though if we're talking nutrition and vitamins then its obvious which one is better...
  But really, you could eat 1200 of mars bars or ice cream and you could still lose weight. Just like you could eat 3500 of fruit or salad and gain weight. So a calorie is a calorie. Whether it comse from tomatoes or french fries.

Counting calories is silly... you can be starving your body without knowing or you could be overeating..... you could eb starving your body and gain weight because you eat too little and then you eat even less and just make the problem worse etc I am not even dieticians or nutrionists can give the proper amount of energy/calories you need. Of course they can make a pretty precise number, but still... it could be 200-300kcal off.
   Your body doesnt notice small difference like 50 kcal here and there or 100 more one day and 85 less the other day etc etc Your body is not a calculator. It uses the energy or stores it for later use. If you have a continual surplus of calories then you gain weight... but you could be gaining weight on 2500one week and the next week you dont gain at all... because your body begins using all the energy instead of storing it.

So dont panic about numbers, whether you ate more today than yesterday. Whether you ate precisely 2167 kcal or 2180 etc.... 
  Just eat FOOD. Not numbers.


  1. Thank you thank you thank you for this! You have made me cry reading it because it was just what I needed to hear. I have really tried so hard this weekend to eat some was my challenge for the weekend from my ED team. And it has caused me so much stress and worry and tears and to completely mess up yesterday and to not eat to follow my plan today. The whole weekend has been a disaster because of the worry about the ice-cream. I know how ridiculous that sounds but also know you understand how I'm feeling. Once again your blog has made me feel so much better - you are absolutely right of course about the calorie thing. And I know really that my body will be glad of the fats! It is just reassuring to hear it from someone else who is such a healthy inspiration now! Thank you for doing what you do! <3

    1. You shouldnt worry about eating ice cream. Ice cream is delicious :) Think of it like frozen yoghurt (i.e actual yoghurt)... whats so wrong with that? I hope you have a really yummy ice cream flavour and topping it with berries or some dark chocolate or something else is yummy, if you dont want to eat it as it is anyway!!
      Enjoy the ice cream, dont think about the calories. Like you said, your body will thank you! It will just be happy :) :)

  2. This came at a good time! Thank you Izzy <3

  3. I have to count calories or I gain weight. Team 4'11 and 110 pounds. I think that's too fat

  4. Love when you post like this! It helped me want to start my own blog geared toward recovery