Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com

Translate

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Relationships are scary

So, where do i even begin with yesterday? I can say that i enjoyed the whole evening. There was never a moment where i thought, i want to go home or this boring. First we met and went to the photo museum, however as we came so late we only had an hour to look at the exhibition, which was barely enough time. After that we walked and talked for a while before sitting down at a bar and both ordered red wine.... Who knew that i would get so tipsy from one glass. I felt that my head was spinning and trying to concentrate on the conversation became harder... and then geting up to go to the bathroom? I thought i would fall. Just gives me a reason and reminder of why i dont drink. If one glass of wine did that to me, then i dont want to know what stronger alochol or even more does to me. But i felt i wanted to drink it to be social, next time though i think ill just take a redbull or a non-alcoholic drink :) For my own sake that is. (However all that wore off soon and i woke up feeling a little tired but nothing worse than that :))
   Then we went for a short walk, continuing to talk......  Im not going to say much more apart from that i am an awkward person and that you can tell i havent been in a relationship before (ok once, when i was 12... but does that even count?)
  However, we could laugh at my awkwardness anyway and i havent scared him off, so i guess thats a good thing.

However, now that i am in an almost relationship? i almost feel a little anxious...like what do you do? how do you behave? is this what i want? do i like this guy? etc etc
  I am one of those people who can feel like no one likes me...  like sometimes i ask myself do my friends actually like me, or do they just hang out with me because they feel sorry for me? Silly questions really, but yes... I have struggled with low self esteem for years and even if its much better, i have my days where i get doubts and insecurities.

To me, as ive never really had a relationship before its all new and exciting, but at the same time scary. I dont even know what i want myself... whether i want something serious or just something fun for now...  I feel so confused but at the same time excited, but also a little anxious.

Though from what i understand, most of these feelings and thoughts are normal... its just part of life and growing up. And until you meet the right person, where it just clicks you might always feel a little undecided?

All in all, i had a great evening!!! :)




4 comments:

  1. I can't give you much advice, since I've never been in a relationship... But what I can tell you is that this is normal, to feel like this. Maybe just play it by year? You said you're not sure what you want, so when you do know I think you should just go for it! Just make sure this guy respects you! So many relationships lack respect, sadly (and a lot of other required things, haha). Just do what you believe is good for you! :)
    Maybe relaxing and clearing your head will help. Anyway that's all I could do. Have a nice evening is it? :)
    Olivia

    ReplyDelete
  2. relationships rock!! Remember that relationships include TWO people, and that each person deserves respect and should respect the other!! :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. most importantly enjoy it and be happy:)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Relationships are scary! But hey, they are great as well. I'm in a similar place in my own life at the moment! Every guy is different, so you treat all of them differently :) if they like you for you, then keep going! Your last couple of lines are exactly right. You'll find the 'click' either emotionally, physically or through hanging out with them :) just relax and be happyyyyyyy.

    ReplyDelete