Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Is this really what you want?

Coldness that doesnt go away no matter how much clothes you put on.

Tiredness and fatigue, making it hard to do anything.

Thin hair that covers your whole body.

Lack of energy.

Lack of concentration - forget studying, having conversations, reading, watching tv... your mind wanders to different things.

Sitting for too long or even lying in bed hurts because your bones stick out and leave you with bruises.

Hair that falls out.

Bad breathe - either due to purging or because you havent eaten and your body is literally eating itsself/eroding

Dry skin - no matter how much you moisturize

Lack of social life - whether its because you dont want to meet other people or because people no longer want to meet you.

Self hatred and fat feelings - no matter how much weight you lose all you seem to see is someone too big, the number always too high. There is no longer anything good about your appearance, all you see are your flaws and things that need to change.

Mood swings.

No longer feeling happy.

Lack of motivation - things you enjoyed are no longer fun.

Calorie counting, obsessed with numbers - calories, macros, weight, measurements etc etc.... life becomes a numbers game and your mood and happiness depends on these numbers.

Your life becomes based on routines and habits - the word spontaneous is no longer part of your vocabulary or life.

Undecisive - making decisions, even something simple such as the white top or black top become hard.

Wearing clothes, getting ready for the day, clothes shopping become nightmares which you avoid. Nothing fits you anymore... either you think it makes you look big or it just hangs off of you.

Insomnia - forget sleeping. Whether its because you wont let yourself sleep or because you literally cant.


Self harm

Constant anxiety.

Over eating and binging


Hoaring food/uncontrollable hunger

Is this/that how you want your life to be? Is having a thigh gap, visible abs, hip bones that show really worth it? How long of your life are you going to spend obsessed with numbers, food, calories etc

Ask yourself... is this what you want? Is this how you want to live your life? Do you want to be living like this, feeling like this in 5 years time?

1 comment:

  1. God no. I'm so sick of it and I don't want it no longer but can't let it go... I'm happy for you that you've made it. You are lookig so good now, much better than in these pictures. And one can tell you're much happier now. That's so great for you and I hope that you stay this way. Maybe I will make it too someday. Cause you're so right... I don't want 5 more years of all this...