Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Thursday, August 28, 2014

How to stop calorie counting

How to stop calorie counting... One of the hard things to do once you start. My best advice, Dont start. It can so easily become an addiction.
  If im honest i have no idea how i even started counting calories... i was 11 when i started restricting my food and that lead to me then beginning to purge and that lead to the next thing etc etc but somewhere along there i began counting calories. And i dont even remember how.... before i became sick, calories was nothing i knew about.  I mean you saw the calorie content of chocolate or crisps stamped on the front of the package. But whether 150 calories was alot or not, i had no idea. I didnt know ANYTHING about fat, carbohydrates, protein, sugar etc  I had just eaten the food i was given (granted, ive always been a very picky eater. Trying to get me to eat a full plate of food was a challenge at time and it wasnt uncommon that i would get served something else from my family i.e my family ate spaghetti and vegetables whilst i ate chicken and vegetables (ive never liked spaghetti, ive found it hard to eat due to a bunch of things in my past)).
  But somewhere i learnt about calorie counting. I never measured my food, just like i was never someone to obsessivle weigh myself as we need had a food scale at home or a scale. I just restricted what i ate.  Infact i have one fine memory from when i was 12 or 13 years old and i had put 1 mini weetabix, 1 whole grain cheerio and one shredded wheat on the counter and i stood there for a full 30 minutes trying to figure out which one had the most calories. And then another 30 minutes trying to decide whether to actually eat the 3 cereal pieces or not.
  I became obsessed with calories and it came to the stage where something wtih 20 calorie scared me. It could make me panic because 20 calories sounded like SO MUCH.
  The funny thing now is that if i eat something with  say 500 calories (Because i can still count calories if i choose to. I know the calorie content of food, its just that the number doesnt have any affect on me.) i can think that that is quite a low amount? 500 -700kcal is the normal amount of one of my meals most probably (considering i eat so much nuts and only 10% of what i eat comes up on my blog!).
  But before i would sit and count the calories of what other people were eating and wondering, how they could eat that amount? Werent they disgusted at the high amount?

I am now going to tell you a secret (or the truth!?) to those of you who have those types of thoughts. Normal people dont care or count calories.
  They see food as food, not numbers. And thats important to remember. Because yes, food contains calories. But calories is energy... they are what makes our body function (along with the macronutrients in food.) We NEED calories to survive. Calories are nothing to be feared.

So how did i stop counting calories?
   Well it was basically that i followed my meal plan and no matter how many times i counted the calolries in the food i ate (I could do it up to 10 times per day, just recounting the calories in my snacks, though they never changed) and i realised that the number wasnt going to change. And i sort of let go of that calorie counting..

But also i began to refuse to acknowledge calories. To see food as food. Say i knew that an apple was x calories.. but i refused to let that affect me. So what if it was X calories or Y calories. It was just food.
You need to NOT let calories trigger you or let them affect you. They are just energy. Energy that your body needs.

Realise that so what if the food is x calories or x+50 calories... it doesnt make so mcuh difference. So what if you ate 500 more today or 300 less yesterday. Food shouldnt be seen as numbers.

Low calorie isnt always best anyway, this is something you should hopefully learn. Really its nutrtion that counts, not calories.

Delete the calorie counters on your phone. Get rid of the measuring scale. REFUSE to look at the calorie content of food and if you do look, then dont care about the number. So what if that meal was 250 kcal or 750kcal... Food is food. Your bdoy will use that food for energy. That food is what is keeping you ALIVE! Its nothing to be feared!!!


  1. Your posts allways come at a good point! I am obsessing over calories even though I'm at a healthy weight and feel fine physical. I am a bit of a overanalyzer, so I tend to overthink everything. All I want is control :/ I need to stop counting calories and macros. But it is quite hard when you learn how much what you're eating contains and start seeing food as numbers instead of food

  2. Izzy! Does it affect you in any way now when people comment on your eating (if this ever happens nowadays)?
    Or did it have any impact you on you during your recovery?
    I just cannot ignore such comments. Yesterday I was eating my favourite food and someone commented on it. And I became so desperate. Shouldn't I eat this salmon now just because someone asshole (sorry...) says that he has thrown up every time he has eaten fish in his life? Seriously, why don't people take into consideration that their words have a huge impact...especially in such a situation? Can you give me any advice on how to handle such occasions? Or how to forget his comment and enjoy eating fish again?