Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Friday, August 1, 2014

Friday 1st August

Once again, a new month has begun. Start of a new chapter for some... and in a few weeks most people will go back to school and work. Back to the 'normal' daily routines. Only 19 more days until school starts again, its crazy how fast time flies by.

 This morning when i logged onto my blog and saw i had gotten 45 comments on my who reads my blog post i was amazed!!! I serisouly didnt think so many would comment i thought i would get like 5... 10 people Max. I have read ALL your comments and you are all amazing, the progress you have made!!! I want to hug you all and tell you all that you are awesome people. For fighting through the tough times and even if you are still in a tough situation, its worth it to keep fighting!!! Im going to try reply to all of the comments but if i dont get a chance i want to tell you all know Thank you and you are all amazing readers :) its You who make this blog!!! :)

Today i am feeling almost a little hungover... haha, no but feeling both physically and mentally a little tired. Though its not so bad at all. However i had wanted to sleep until 9 or 10am or longer if i could, but nope... i wake up at 7.59am and cant fall asleep again :( So its just to get up and make breakfast!
    Today all i want to do is lie on a beach and eat ice cream, so ill see if i can get my mum to drive us to a beach :) :)

And onto other news...We're not moving! Which i still find hard ot believe... we had said yes to the apartment, the paper were being fixed and sent in and it was fully decided that within the next 2-3 months we would move to that apartment. However the night we said yes my mum had woken up with anxiety and realised that we had made the wrong choice. Really it was my mum pushing us to say yes, my step dad was only half interested in that apartment, my sister wasnt so keen but she was looking at an apartment of her own anyway so it didnt make so much difference to her and well me... i was completely against it. So when my mum suddenly got that anxiety and that feeling that it was wrong she spoke to my step dad and they fixed everything so that we are no longer moving..... Crazy. Im not complaining and it actually feels good that it wasnt Me who made us not move... as that would have given me so much anxiety. But now it was sort of that all of us felt it wasnt right in some way or another. But the thing is, we only got 3 days from when we saw the apartment to decide and that isnt even close to enough time unless you see an apartment and just know its the right one. But this one there wasnt any of that feeling.
  So thats good news :) And for now we will be staying in this apartment and trust me I could pretty much happy dance right now... jump up and down. Run around, shout for joy!!! Its like now im looking at everything outside and inside and just smiling because I love it here and i dont have to say goodbye :)
  I think this is a very obvious sign that moving was not what i wanted!!! :)


  1. Yay for not moving!! Although now we can't get our apartment together (;
    I hope you get to go to the beach today! I wish I could be at the beach... but no, instead I am in the middle of a very cold and rainy winter!
    I always like the start of a new month, it's like being able to start afresh. But I went to my psychologist today and for the next 2 weeks I have to eat 2500 cals and I am TERRIFIED. I have never eaten this much in my life! I struggle to get to 2000! I am scared I'll gain 5kgs just this week! It all begins tomorrow and I am SO scared, but I know it means I can recover sooner! Have a good day (:

    1. During my recovery I ate 3400 calories every day and I gained like 0,7-1 kg a week. You will not gain as much as 5 kg in a week for sure, hun! Don't know if that struggle to eat 2000 calories is because of the number, or because the amount of food is so high that you feel too ful to eat it all. If the last thing is the case then eat more colorie dense foods :) And don't see just the calories, think of all the yummy foods you will eat. 2500 is not alot! If I exercise a little bit and eat 2800 calories, I am able to maintain a BMI of 18-19, and I might even lose some weight. I will have to eat even more to maintain a higher and healthier weight. So don't worry! There is nothing wrong with your body, it works just like other people's bodies.

    2. Hahah, you can move here and i can kick out my parents ;);) Even more reason to move to Sweden... though i guesss in a few months it will be winter with snow and minus degrees!! I know it can be scary but calorie increases are part of recovering and its better for when you are at a healthy weight if you ate like 3000kcal to gain weight rather than 1800. Your body should adapt to the calorie increase sometime. And as the anonymous said you wont gain 5kg in a week then you would need to eat c.a 5000kcal a day or something or even more :) Try adding in lots of yummy food which you really like, taking extra for lunch and dinner etc Though if you have a meal plan, of course follow that :)
      Also as the anonymous said, calorie dense food can help you. Add more nuts, avocado, coconut to snacks. And eat salmon, avocado, eggs etc
      It will go well, follow these instructions and then see what happens next week, you'll see that you dont gain loads of weight just by increasing. :)

  2. So happy for you that you don't have to move. Sometimes things just turn out perfect in a weird way :)

    1. Yes!! :) I am supper happy as well.

  3. you have to finish high school then? Grade 12?

    1. I have my last year of 'high school' now and then ill most probably go to University :)