Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Monday, August 11, 2014

Dont let others eating habits affect you

Something which i think is very important to remind you all is to not let others eating habits affect you or trigger you. Yes, it might be triggering to see someone eat very little or someone talking about dieting or weightloss. But you need to make it NOT a trigger... its how you react towards the situation that makes it a trigger or not. You need to be able to handle those types of situations.

I wrote about this a little while ago, but my sister has noticed that she is gluten intolerant and is going to get that checked up. But for now she has completely cut gluten fomro her diet, as well as lactose.... and at first. When she stopped eating bread and pasta i felt this twinge in my belly...why should i eat bread if she wasnt doing it? Yes a very silly thought like that popped into my head. But once i realised and rememebr that we are 2 different people with different bodies and different goals i realised that i could eat as much bread as i wanted. It didnt matter if she ate it or not. So i proceeded to eat the store bought bread we had and the pancakes i made. And there wasnt so much more thought to that... the normal products have been replaced with gluten free from my sister and she eats those things when we eat the gluten products.

At the moment however my mum is doing this drinking/fasting diet.... I noticed all day that she hadnt eaten and i got a bit confused... had she forgotten to eat or what? It sounds like i was watching her or something, haha, no... its just that i noticed the only dishes in the house came from me. So i asked her and basically she is doing some form of drinking/herbal tea fast. This evoked quite a few reactions within me.... But i went for the calm reaction and just said, i think thats bullshit. I dont think fasting is neeeded... she is trying to detox her body? From what really... she doesnt eat much junk food or that as it is? She explained her side and i basically said what i thought... she can do what she wants, im not her mum and i know she doesnt have any weird thinking but at the same time, it did evoke something within me. More rage that she is actually doing it. Not that it triggers me, i mean i stood there preparing my dinner and taunted her with the fact that i was making a super delicious tuna and cauliflower pie which she couldnt have ;);)
But after 5 minutes of thinking i realised, i shouldnt have gotten so provoked. I mean there will ALWAYS be someone dieting, doing a new diet trend, going on a fasting or drinking diet... and its not something i can stop. I think its unnecessary, but thats their choice. Just like its my choice when it comes to what i eat and what i put in my body. Some might get provoked by how i eat, but thats their choice. Just like its my choice on how i react to what others around me eat.
   I think what bothered me most was that my mum is so close to me.... and well, after all my years of restriction i guess i dont like the fact when people around me restrict.

Its important to remember that everyone eats differently. You cant control what others eat. And NO you cant always be the one to eat the least... its not a competition between food. Who eats the least or eats the most. When i was in recovery and my mum had to eat her meals with me, i remember getting triggered by both my mum and sister as they always ate less than me. For my snacks my mum just drank tea sometimes when i sat there with my yoghurt, sandiwches and juice. For dinners and lunches i had to drink juice or milk and they just drank water and ate less than me. This triggered me ALOT. And it took ALOT of mental work to stop letting that be a trigger.
  The fact is, they are normal healthy people. And 1) they dont have CF 2) they didnt need to gain weight and 3) they were eating what their bodies wanted. And that is something good to remember. When you are healthy you dont follow a meal plan of how much you should eat or when you should eat. You just eat when you are hungry.
  So DONT compare your meals to someone else.

If someone is dieting and always talking about weightloss or triggers you, then try stay away from them or talk to them about it. But also try to control the trigger and your reaction .Focus on YOURSELF. On WHy you need to eat the way you do. Not what anybody else does.... otherwise you will always compare yourself and food intake to others.

This post became a bit of a thoughts and ramble post, but hopefully its slightly helpful. :)


  1. This was so helpful! Exactly what i needed today, thank you so much! :) I'm on a recovery diet which contains lots of foods my mum doesn't eat and just a couple of hours ago when we were having dinner i got really anxious realising i had more and different food on my plate than the rest of the family. Reading this made it so much better so again , thank you this post is amazing!! :)

  2. I feel the same. I get this strange anger when my friends say they skipped lunch, or went on a's like I'm in a competition with them. It actually is bizarre because I'm the most active out of my friends anyway (don't skip meals though!!) so it's not even as though they're exercising while I can't, but it still makes me irrationally annoyed -_- I don't act on it though, I've learnt the hard way that skipping meals does not work for me or my mental health.

  3. It's funny how your posts always come at exactly the right time! :)

    I was at a party, and when I went to fill my plate, I automatically noticed that my friends took a lot less food than me. It was actually crazy how much less: while my plate was almost completely full, theirs' were not even half-filled! Of course, since I had so much more food, I took a lot longer than them to eat dinner. It was really awkward being the only one eating...but I knew I needed it.

    In fact, I actually got up for seconds!