Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com

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Friday, August 22, 2014

Comparison - An ED thing

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Without fail and no matter which treatment center I’ve been to, there is a game that is popular in all ED centers.


I like to call it, “Who’s the sickest?”. It goes something like this:

Patient 1: I had to be tubed six times 
Patient 2: I was IP for 8 months

And eventually, it turns into leads to something like this:
Patient 1: I died and saw the light!
Patient 2: I’ve had my eating disorder since I was a zygote!

Before I went to treatment, I was in denial and ashamed of my eating disorder. I was pretty shocked to see this game of oneupmanship being played.

I havent written this... but i agree.. completly.
  Before i started treatment, i was embarrassed about my eating disorder. I was embarrassed about the fact that i couldnt eat like a normal person, that i had to purge what i ate. I hated knowing that i couldnt go out adn eat with friends or was missing a social event.... but then again not.
  But when i started treatment, it was like people start boasting about their 'sick behaviour' started comparing... like.. oh, i used to only eat X calories. I exercised X hours... ive been sick for X years etc etc.. always a competition of who was the sickest.
  I wasnt so talkative in treatment, i was the silent listener... but in my head, i compared... if i heard someone saying that they had only been sick 2 years, in my head i was tellling myself... 'ohh, im sicker then them!!' 
  i looked people up and down ,comparing myself... always coming to the conclusion that i was fattest.
  While in treatment, having anorexia was something ot be proud of... first of all WTF? No it isnt. It is a deadly disease...
  we shouldnt compare ourselves... who is sickest? we are in treatment to learn to live without our ED. to get better... not to sit there sharing secrets, how to become sicker...
   

Having an ED is nothing to be proud of, nothing to brag or boast about... nobody is impressed... so its best to keep your 'Ana goals' and all the sick things you think are good and are an accomplishment to yourself...

^^haha... sorry!

6 comments:

  1. Izzy, this comment have nothing to do with this post but I wanted to say that I just entered Midnight Run Helsinki! Because I read posts about your race and got really really excited and all I was thinking "I want too!!!!" :D And then I realised that the Midnight Run is in Helsinki next Saturday. So why not! 8D And because I will run half marathon in October, I think this is a great race before that.
    So thank you for giving this all inspiration!! ♥

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    1. I har inspired by Izzy running the color run, so I signed up for color me rad in Norway. It is tomorrow at 11:30 and I'm super excited!! :))

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    2. **I was (not I har)

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    3. To Maiu, that makes me so happy to hear!! Good luck :) I am sure you will enjoy it loads. I reccommend to load up with something yummy and with fast energy and maybe something wtih caffeine (if needed) as the race is so late. But once you are there you will get lots of energy!!! Enjoy it :) Write to me or email if you want to let me know how it goes, that would be super fun to read!! And good luck with the Half marathon :)

      To anonymous, that is so fun to hear! The colour run is amazingly fun, an experience i will never forgeet :):) Enjoy it all tomorrow and comment/Email if you want to let me know how it goes :) :)

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  2. This is why Izzy your diet is always being judeged on this blog - it's the mofo ED comparing stupid stuff taking its toll. And, please do not apologise to ED - tell the voice to 'SHUT THE FUCK UP'!
    J
    xx

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    1. Yeah i know this... there is so much comparison and its like you cant stop it, but you CAN. Its important to not take your own insecurities or worries out on someone else, because in the end critiszing me wont help solve their problems :) :)
      And good advice!

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