Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Beginning to socialize again

One of the top requested topics/posts at the moment is about how to start socializing again... and the fact is, there isnt so much to write about just this topic. I know the fears, i am not the most social person or the person who goes to all the events and always wants to hang out with people. Infact i am an introvert... i prefer spending time alone, doing my own things rather than with people. But i have a balance.... spend time on my own, doing things i enjoy but also spend time with friends and family. The balance which is healthiest and most important for me.

Making new friends, starting a new school or new job... its all very nervewracking. And its even worse when you seem to have checked out from life for a while due to an illness. You almost forget your social skills... but the most important thing is to remember everyone is human. Its easy to think that people will judge you, and some will... but the people who matter, who will be your true friends or become your partner, well they arent so quick to judge.
  First impressions do count, but if yo uare lucky and meet the right people you will still have second, third and fourth chances.

Remember to be yourself, that is important. Its easy to put on a mask, fake a personality and just be sort of fake... or maybe you want to be someone else. You dont like who you are so you put on this bubbly and cheerful personality but in reality you are the type of person who thinks before they speak and does more watching than saying. And ic an tell you, the fake personality will wear off... sooner or later you need to be honest and open about your own personlity and how you are as a person. People WILL love and accept you for who you are. You just need to be you.
   And it might take time... you might not click with the first people you meet and socialize with, but give it time.

I can tell you from experience, when i first went back to school after my eating disorder. The school i went to was small and my class was equally as small. I didnt really click with anyone... i had school friends, people i talked to in school because i had to. But i hated it so much, i cried most days after school. I became depressed, stressed and began to relapse i hated that school so much. So no, my thoughts of when i recover adn go back to school i will have loads of friends, have a social life and begin living life was not what happend.
  And then i changed school a year later and there it took abotu 2 months before i felt i belonged somewhere... i just sort of went between the groups in the class, i couldnt find people i clicked with. I am quiet, i know that. But i feel no need to change my personality or how i am... i want people to accept me for who i am. And it took a while until it did... i even considered changing school, doing a distance/online school because i couldnt seem to make friends and it made me very sad. Because one of the reasons to recover was to have friends again, to not be so alone. But finally i clicked with a group of girls and guy(s) and there i found my friends.
   So it takes time, life doesnt always plan out the way you think it will but give it time. I could have given up anytime in those 1,5 years... but then i wouldnt be where i am now. I wouldnt have the friends or memories i have now... so even if you are struggling keep trying to make friends. TALK TO PEOPLE. Be open.
    And like i said, we're just humans. I am sure there will be a guy or girl just as nervois as you are, or who will see that you are sitting alone or quiet and come up to talk to you. Or maybe  YOU should be the one to go up to that person who is sitting alone or is quiet? Ask how they are feeling, if they want to sit with you.

Of course, its not enough to just be yourself and talk to people but to actually go to events. This can be scary.... going to places or doing things you havent done before. Trust me, most people experience that nervousness beforehand. Whether its a party, gathering, new club etc so you arent alone in those feelings. But the fact is, everyone including you is able to hide those feelings. When people look at you and are super nervous themselves they might wonder why you dont look nervous at all?
  If you get invited to go to a party, then go... you might have fun and enjoy yourself. Meet new people. Face that fear and start that new club or hobby you want to.

Trust me, i have wasted too many years in my life wishing i had more friends. But friends dont appear out of magic... its about meeting them. You have to actual go to social events, talk to people and take it from there. Some people you just click with, others become just sort of contacts, others you dont like at all... but its about being social. You cant be scared to talk to people.
  That might sound a little controversial as i am the type of person who is often silent who might not always go to every social event im invited to... but i do go as often as i can. And i am just myself when i meet new people... sometimes im more quiet, other times i have more to say.

Dont be so hard to judge yourself as others arent. You are your worst critic.

1) Face your fears and go to social events. 2) Be YOURSELF. 3) Talk to people, be open and kind. 4) Dont be scared of embarrassing yourself, just laugh if you do. 5) Not everyone will like you, thats ok.


  1. Hey. :) I really like your post, it's a quite important topic you touched upon.
    The time after recovering from my eating disorder was plain hell as well.
    I felt I never belonged to anybody, I felt like an alien.
    I got depression and wasn't able to make friends... Because I thought those people were so different from me, haven't gone through what I have gone. I had to repeat the grade due to my illness and lost a lot of my friends. By now, I still don't feel accepted or included in the groupes of my new grade but I no longer force myself to make others to like me. I want to be accepted the way I am and I think that's a healthy attitude. Although I don't have friends at my school I have some nice people to talk with at least. To me, that's good enough since I luckily only have one year left at that school. :)
    But you are right, it is important to come back in social life and to not get isolated.
    I love going to social events such as concerts and I try to keep in touch with my old friends.
    But I have problems with making friends in general since I kinda developed a social anxiety... I sometimes even get panic attacks.
    I can't really open myself in front of others.
    Have you any advice referring to that social anxiety for me?

    I really enjoy reading your blog! :) You seem to be such a lovely and interesting person! :)
    Thank you for your wonderful posts and support you give here!

    (English isn't my mother tongue so I hope you catch what I mean, haha.)

    1. Its always tough to go back to school and make friends especially if you have social anxiety. Its not easy but i think the best is to try to face that fear.... i dont know how it is to have social anxiety, though wghile i was sick i panicked whenever i was in large crowds and i mean i amnt the first person to start talking with new people. But i think going against the fear and actually making your voice heard is good. This is something im learning to do as well... i mean everyone is human, like i said. They wont judge you, i think people will notice you more and you will make some form of connection if you begin talking.
      Usually if someone sees that someone is pulling themselves away or not actually trying to talk they are less likely to talk to you because they think you dont want to. So aslong as you make an effort if someone talks to you, then its a start at least :):) Or even talking online can be a good way to start to form a connection and friendship :)
      And you have great english, thats nothing to worry about! Good luck.

  2. Thank you so much for this post. These thoughts are always in the back of my head but it's always so reassuring when someone confirms them. I grew up thinking that it was considered 'weird' to be an introvert.. But after reading your blog I realized that everyone is different and that there's no need to change yourself. Your blog has not only helped me through recovery from anorexia but also through the process of accepting myself. Not be ashamed of my personality but be proud of it. I never felt so comfortable in my own skin and I wanna say that you really helped me get there:) I'm actually gonna print some of your posts and read them every morning haha like a daily reminder

    1. Thank you so much!! I am just glad i can help, and you should love yourself and accept yourself :) You DONT need to change. If people dont like you the way they are, then thats their loss, not yours :) Everyone is different and thats ok!