Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Beginning to live life again

With recovery comes life. Because when you are sick, you arent living life... you are following routines and habits. Locking yourself away from life.
  Also, many when they are sick they check themselves out from responsibilities. Dont go to school or work, dont pay bills, dont need to do other everyday things. They stick to their routines and avoid responsibility or living in reality.
  But when you begin to recover, you need to return back to life... both the positives and negatives.

You need to return to school or work. Do activities, pay bills, run errands etc etc But also... do fun things like meet friends, travel, go to cafes or museums, walk in town, go for road trips or long walks etc

 In recovery and while being sick, its like you forget about life.... and you dont really know how to return to living life. How to start living again. You feel like your ED is part of you... that your ED is 90% of your personality and you cant break free from it because then who are you? But you arent the sick girl/guy. Why does your personlity need to be the shy person... the one who is never there or just stands in the corner. Why do you have to be known as the skinny person or the person who never eats. Or maybe the person who does everything for everyone else but never anything for themselves?
  You AREN'T your eating disorder.... your eating disorder is merely thoughts, or even nightmares in your head. But its not YOU. Thats why you can beat it. You can fight the voices and thoughts in your head.

In recovery i always suggest doing things you enjoy, when the time is right. Slowly beginning to meet friends and socialize again. Go out to cafes, find hobbies and things you can participate in. This gets you out of the house and doing things... back into life. When sick, its so easy to hide away. But thats not what is best for you... you need to step out of your comfort zone. Do something different, not just your sick behaviour and habits.

With recovery and life, choices come back to you. Often when you have an ED you dont have so many choices... you go for whats comfortable, not what will make you fight your ED. But often, having choices can seem daunting.... not being able to choose. But there are times when you want to choose.... when you want to choose what you eat and when, what time you get up, what you do during the day etc
  and that comes back to you. Of course if you go to school or work you need to follow that schedule. But there are still alot of things you get to decide..... you get your freedom back. However, it can take a long time to win your familes trust back. But as i always say actions speak louder than words. Its not enough to say that you wont lose weight while exercising or that you will eat in school or that you are healthy. But to SHOW that you are healthy.... There is a period - for some where you have to earn your parents trust back and yes, that might mean eating cookies 5 days a week or going out to eat 4 times a week etc But if you truly are healthy, then you dont mind that. This is just a period/phase where you need to show that you are healthy... you are under a magnifying glass by your parents. But communication is key in this phase, to both talk and show them you are healthy (if you actually are.)

Also with recovery, comes exercise. You wont always be on bedrest of 0 physical activity. This is whats best for you now, not always. So remember this. If exercise is something you want to do, then wait until you are a healthy weight and know that you can slowly begin doing it again not over working or abusing exercise.

Rememeber, there are lots of good things with recovery!!! You get your life back, your freedom, your health. The way your life is now, it doesnt have to be this way. It can be different and better!

Just remember to let go and to fight your ED and to begin returning back to life.


  1. Thank you for this great post! Returning back to life is definitely something I struggle with. It's almost to some extent easier to stay sick because it's an area you're so comfortable in and you don't have to face things and put the effort in to get your life back to a liveable, enjoyable point.

  2. It's like you read my mind! As I've been thinking about this a lot lately - wanting to live life again, but at the same time being scared of moving on and trying new things. But I have been trying harder and "doing more" like meeting up with people occasionally. And sometimes I catch myself thinking:
    "hey, this isn't too bad". I guess you can't experience the good things unless to give it a go. Thank you for writing this post. It's a good reminder that despite how hard and scary letting go of the ED might be, life and the good things that comes with it is worth so much more :)

    1. That sounds good. Its definitely hard in the beginning as you need to step outside of your comfot zone and all your rroutines and habitsd, but it gets easier. Soon you will be living life and not thinking of the past :) You just have to learn to let go!