Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Saturday, August 16, 2014

2 years declared healthy

2 years ago, on the 16th August 2012 i was declared healthy from anorexia and depression (and my over exercising & self harm was also over). It was a day which i didnt think would ever happen to me... i had struggled and fought for so long.... so many days filled with anxiety. Negative thoughts, suicidal thoughts and times when i wanted to give up. But i never did... i kept fighting. I gained weight even when i just wanted to give up, when i felt like a whale and thought i would have to join Biggest Loser, but i kept eating. I kept fighting the negative thoughts. I focused on other things rather than my body and weight.... i ate more and let my body take care of the rest. And i reached my goal weight of 60kg and thats where my body felt healthy. Thats where my body wanted to stay.

This day 2 years ago i sat in a room with my case manager, the doctor and another staff member adn they asked me lots of questions, how i was feeling, what my thoughts were. Did i have anxiety over food, my body, training.... everything looked good and i got declared healthy and then began my follow up treatment. Which continued in 5 years (i.e 3 years left) and now i only go once a year.

Its been 2 years that ive been healthy and i have completely moved on from the person i was when i had an eating disorder. I can no longer relate to the girl i was before. Now it is no longer a question of whether i should eat or not, now its a question of what do i want to eat.

I live my life... the life which i so long fought for. Living my life, having friends, going to school, having a boyfriend, That was my motivation, that was what i fought for. And now i have it... (Infact my whole body is tingling when i write this and i have a huge smile on my face.) I got the life which i wanted... all my hard work has paid off!!! The days, weeks, months filled with anxiety, panic, guilt.... fighting against the voice in my head. Doing things which scared me. Fighting against all the negative thoughts, It was worth it!!!!
  Never ever would i go back to the cold, tired, sick girl i was back then.  I love my body now, i would never want to go back to 40kg... that was NOT me. I wasnt happy, i didnt feel pretty, i didnt even feel skinny... the one thing which i so long wanted to feel. I just felt fat and had so much self hate.

These past 2 years, i have grown so much as a person. I have changed so much from the girl i was that day when i was declared healthy. Since then i have gotten even better at trusting my body, eating all types of food with no guilt. No over thinking of my food or food intake. Exercise because i enjoy it... making choices which benefit me. Doing things i enjoy. I also challenge my fears and anxieties whether its social anxiety, fear of bridges or other things. I step outside of my comfort zone to keep challenging myself.
   I keep growing as a person and just become happier and happier. I experience new things, new adventures.....

If i had given up, if i had relapsed i would not have gone to the school i go to now - i would most probably have gone a distance school. I wouldnt have the friends i have now. I wouldnt have gone to Disney land Paris, i wouldnt have visited New York. I wouldnt be who i am now..... I would be in a completely different situation now.

Not everyday is great, i did fall into a depression again at the end of 2012 due to school, stress and friends but since then ive been positive and havent fallen into any depression again!!!

Instead of writing a huge long text (which i pretty much already have!) i am just going to post loads of photos from the past 2 years, to show my life the past 2 years and how i have grown and changed!!!! (Beware - ALOT of photos... i went through everyday for the past 2 years, and i just had so many photos!)


  1. your recovery has been the inspiration for so many others i'm sure, and you should be so proud!
    you've come so far and worked so hard to get to the point you're now, and I remember finding your blog (when you were healthy) and it made me so happy to see how strong you'd been and how far you've come. Throughout the time I've read your blog its inspired me to try recovery and I cant thank you enough for that.
    your a wonderful person izzy. I hope you're proud of how far you've come :)

  2. Words cannot even describe how PROUD I am of you Izzy! You are living proof that there truly is life after anorexia (what a great name for a blog (; ) and you can achieve your dreams. I am just so happy that you chose to be healthy, because look at where it has gotten you!
    To be totally honest, I think that you pretty much saved my life, and was the main reason I chose to recover. Four months ago I was completely overexercising, having under 1000 cals a day, not studying, not sleeping. I was completely empty and alone. Then I stumbled across your blog and you taught me that recovery was possible and you could live a great life. Everytime you posted I felt less alone. I read all of your tips for recovery, and slowly, I became less afraid. I saw that you did Colour me Rad, and I wanted to be able to do that too, I saw that you ate whatever you wanted (and we happen to love the same types of foods!) and I wanted to be able to do that too. Two months ago I had some dark chocolate covered nuts after seeing them on your blog, and it was the first chocolate I had eaten in seven months. Now I have it everyday (; (I actually just finished eating a square of the chocolate you gave me...). I truly think of you as my friend (I hope you feel the same!), and someone I can turn to, and be inspired from.
    I cannot thank you enough for the impact you've had in my life, and probably countless other lives. I can just picture coming to visit you in Sweden one day and we can do burpees together (I love burpees, we will have a competition (; ) and work out and then eat lots of fruit, chocolate and yoghurt!
    The only way now is forward, only look back to remember how horrible it felt to be in the throes of anorexia. I know sometimes, when you feel down, it's probably tempting to go backwards, but just remember this feeling of happiness and all that you have, and you'll remember it's so much more worth it.
    Sending big hugs (and run like the wind today!)
    Aimee (: xx

  3. You are Beautiful !!!!!!!!

  4. CONGRATS!!! It's a great day to celebrate all you've gone through and who you are now. Just thinking what the next two years might bring! There is no limit to what can happen!

  5. Hi Izzy, you are amazing and so inspiring! I´m in desperate need of some advice. I´ve had anorexia for 5 years and now really trying to recover. I feel that I´m starting to experience some sort of extreme hunger which I have never had before. I´m so freaking out, I haven´t had any hunger pains in years and now suddenly I´m hungry all the time. Also I feel huge and really uncomfortable in my body even if the scale says I´m underweight still. Any advice? I´m really stressed and afraid.

    I truly believe that you have, in a way, saved my life. Seeing how you're living freely and happily has been my main inspiration for recovery, as you prove life after ED's are possible and wonderful!
    Half a year ago I started to read your blog, and you have taught me that it's okay to love your body, and that it's okay to eat! Without your advice, help and tips I don't know where i'd be right now. In a much worse place than I am now: 'now' is in recovery from anorexia and receiving professional help/therapy/etc.
    The amount of thankfulness I hold for you is huge, as I believe that your blog and your loveliness has saved me from so much more destruction that could've occurred. You have been a solid inspiration to me, and (this may seem weird as I'm a stranger and we've never even spoke, and I understand that) just seeing your supporting words makes everything seem easier.
    thank you.:)

  7. You can't believe how proud I am of you!! You are such a great person and have grown so much. It's great that you help others. Words can't describe how happy I am for you! If you hadn't recovered and started a blog I would be in a horrible state of mind. Thank you so much for being you! I really hope to meet you some day. And I love when you post a lot of pictures. Rock on!! :)

  8. The declaration being does it go? Are you told: we think you are healthy and will be discharged at XY and when this day comes, you are asked like you described and than they say: Now you are healthy here are your flowers!


    Are there girls who werte discharged without being declared hhealthy?