Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Raw till 4

Ive been asked to write about the new Raw till 4 diet and Freelee the banana girl.

If im honest, im not following this whole new diet and raw food diet thing... i dont really care about it. I mean there will ALWAYS be new diets, new trends which 20% of the population start with and finish within a month. They come and go, some devote themselves to that type of eating, whilst others jump on and off the bandwagon.

As i understand it, you eat fruits and vegetables - an abundance of them up until 4 where you can eat a cooked meal? But still only things like fluten free pasta, potatoe, raw sushi etc?
   According to the diet you arent supposed to undereat, you are still supposed to get your calolrie intake but all from fruit and veggies, i.e eating 10 bananas at a time?

In my opinion this diet is just absurd, is it even a long term diet? Sounds more like a 2 week detox type thing. Because lets be honest... if you are on holiday or staying at a friends house or dont have access to buy your own food, i dont think you wuill be able to eat 500kcal in just fruit for one meal? But also fruit rots so easily, especially summer time.
  But the amount of gases and bloatedness you will have from eating so much fruit and veggies? I know that fruit is alot easier to digest than meat, but it still takes its time. And because its so much fiber your stomach works hard and can bloat alot.

Also with this diet, you lack protein and healthy fats which are essential for your body. Your brain needs healthy fats, thats why they are so important. And your muscles & cells need protein, especially if you are working out.

I think the diet is just absurd, its not anything you can do for more than a week or two, mauybe a month. But i can imagine many undereat on this diet as it can be hard to eat 500kcal of veggies... unless maybe you want to eat 5 bananas at once... but how much fun is that?

I think its better to focus on eating carbs, protein and healthy fats. Have balance between the macronutrients... dont restrict one of the food groups. Eat enough food, exercise, rest, drink plenty of water. DONT jump into some diet... whether its paleo, iifym, lchf etc etc
  Veganism and vegertarianism is different.. thats not just a 6 week diet thing. But its a lifestyle change.

So Freelee the banana girl? If im honest, i dont know much about her and i dont have the energy to google her either. Because i dont care about her... if she wants to start telling everyone to eat 10 bananas a day and stop eating certain foods, well i cant stop her. But im not going to listen to her either.
   I saw her video where she was critisizing Jenna Marble and saying she had gained weight... and well after that i felt i dont have the energy for this girl. I think its wrong to sit behind a camera and critisize someone elses body.
  She has the right to eat whatever way she wants, and sure she can give advice and preach that her diet is the best diet but its not something for me.

Do i think that she has an eating disordereed (i got asked this) ? No i dont... or i dont know her/watch her videos so i dont know. If she is undereating say only eating 500kcal a day and saying its just because she eats fruit and veggies, then maybe something is wrong. But an eating disorder is a metnal illness, you cant just diagnose someone because they dont eat the same way you do. Its like saying all vegans have an ED, which isnt true, Of course, its very restrictive, but that doesnt maen you have an ED.
  However there are some people who have been vegan but then they eat fish again or something non vegan and suddenly realise that veganism isnt for them, that actually they were just a vegan because they were scared of food. And that can be classified as disordered eating, as you are scared of eating certain food. But its not a moral or ethical choice, but a fear.

If you are recovering, or even just a healthy person or even someone who wants to lose weight. I suggest avoiding these types of diets, they arennt helpful. Just like tea toxes, drinking diets, fasting diets, cleanses etc they aren't long term diets or something you can do forever. 

^^Whoever thinks 5 mangos for lunch is an ok lunch is just crazy in my opinion.


  1. Izzyyy :) ... well, I am vegan and go High Carb Low Fat (which does not mean you don't eat fats, you can eat avocado and nuts n stuff, just not each and every day).. and I must say I love it.. I quit counting calories completely and I eat whenever I am hungry.. No one cares about the scale :) well if I had to guess I would say I maintained (I am normal weight) so thats ok.. and my body feeling just got like really better! also my digestion works super good and stuff.. I really feel good :) but as you always say: every body is different. so what works for me might not work for you and a million others! :)

    but what I have to tell you: in 80/10/10, banana girl diet (never tried that either, so...) and HCLF veganism in general you are supposed to eat around 2500 - 3500 calories a day, so this means you are in no way restricting your caloric intake. my typical breakfast could be a banana shake consistin of 1-2 lb bananas and dates... so no, theres no problem getting the calories in as soon as you've adjusted to the reaaaally big portions ;)
    of course, moderation is key. I like having a huge variety of fruit throughout the day and for dinner a huge bowl of dark, leafy greens, tomatos, cucumber, avocado/nuts/seeds to get my fat in (as you do not eliminate that completely).. so I really try to have variety and not restrict any food i crave. I also do not feel deprived, like you know, after a while all you crave is fresh fruit :D and if I crave smth else i don't say no. there is no need for restriction as I know the feeling from my ed. but eating raw, vegan and high- carb leaves me so satisfied I would coose it anytime again!
    Enjoy your evening xx

    1. im confused... are vegans supposed to eat more calories...or just more food because it is lower in calories...?

    2. Hmm what I meant was not about vegans in general :) a theory behind HCLF veganism is that your body actually functions best when getting 2500+ calories.
      The portions are of course bigger as you need to eat more fruits and vegs to get in all the calories!
      But as I've said, counting colories is not the aim ... as long as you listen to your body and pay attention to its reactions on the food you eat you're on the safe side... But the diet I described is not a 'diet' but a lifestyle change, as Izzy said

    3. If you find it works for you, then thats great :) Im not going to tell you that you are doing wrong, because i am sure it works for many. And that it is a lifestyle and thats great. But i personally dont think its the best form of eating... but thats just my opinion, i am definitely not right about everything ;);) And i think its great that you left your information as you yourself eat raw /HCLF ;)
      And its good that you eat enough, as thats one of the things which i guess could be easy to do in the beginning`? not eat enough...

      Also wondering, do you ever crave a cooked meal? I know that before i went on a sort of 'detox' for 3 days... (hahah,d idnt work so well. I guess i wasnt so motivated) but i felt i got all these weird cravings because i was just eating raw and cold foods....
      Though i guess if you're vegan and not doing the raw till 4, then you can atleast heat up veggies and that? :)

    4. Thanks Izzy! Thank you for your comment :) I really love that about your blog.. you know, some people really have a problem if there's other opinions but you are just so kind and open- minded! :)

      Well it is hard in the beginning, getting used to new portion sizes and stuff. For me it was pretty easy as my stomach is pretty 'wide' due to my bulimia. Many have the problem that they feel like bursting after eating half of their meal! For people that are struggling alot with undereating it is most probably a really dangerous idea..

      Hm, sometimes in the evening, yes I do craved stuff. Not really often though as you really start craving raw and fresh stuff. But I think that it is really important to listen to your cravings when following this kind of veganism! Your body knows best what it needs! (and this was veeery hard for me to learn but it gets easier!) If i crave a cooked meal, I'll have one.
      Actually I don't even think that eating 100% raw is possible here in Germany where I'm living. Especially in Autumn, Winter and Spring buying those amounts of fresh foods is expensive and there also is limited variety, so HEY to potatos, rice, quinoa, oats and stuff :)
      I don't think that it's sensible to eat 100% raw just because the promoters of this kind of diet claim it to be the best way of eating. Your body's signals ALWAYS go first! And again, moderation's key :) and it is no problem to have some cooked stuff in 80/10/10 HCLF anyway for most :)

  2. I agree completely Izzy!
    Eat intuitively, drink water = no need to diet! :)

  3. Thank you so much, Izzy! it helped me A LOT !!!!

    Do you also consider vegan diet to be improper for people who had an ED?

    1. Im not someone to judge or tell someone what they should or shouldnt do. If they feel they are going vegan for moral or ethical reasons, then why not. And its not something they are doing to stay away from fear foods, anxiety around food or a reason to restrict. Then i dont see anything wrong with it... but if someone is turningn vegan for those reasons above, then i dont think its a good idea. Because its just going from one restrictive way of eating to another.

  4. First of all, veganism is NOT restrictive and you still get every macronutrient you need. And secondly, think about all the animals. They are brutally killed for human consumption... We are naturally frugivores so we shouldn't kill other beings. And Freelee is very intelligent, she knows what she's talking about :) she is very passionate about the topic so she might sound rude to some ;)