Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Sunday, July 27, 2014

Do i drink?

I got asked about alcohol and whether i drink or not and before ive been asked my opinion on alcohol.

Ill begin with saying that no i dont drink. This is a choice i have made for my health physically and mentally. Alcohol just does more damage than good for me. Though that doesnt mean that i dont take a glass of Champagne on New Years or some Baileys on Christmas. Though the amount of drinks i drink in a year can be counted on one hand. Though of course i dont go out and party so often, my school is very business so theres not so many parties or house parties that you are invited to. And my friends dont drink either so i dont feel any press to have to drink. But also just like with my family, my friends know that i workout so often. And working out and alcohol just isnt a good combination.

I dont like the feeling of being hungover, i dont like wasting a day where i just lie in bed and feel sick. Even having the stomach bug or a virus makes me feel sad because its a day wasted. So purposely making myself waste a day, a day where i purge and have a raging head ache... Nope, ill skip that.

 But like i said, a glass of wine here and there sure. Or a cider, but personally i avoid alcohol.

My opinion on alcohol? If you drink it in moderation then i dont see why not... Too much alcohol isnt good, not for anybody. And i DONT promote drinking, but thats a choice you have to make yourself.

I did have a period at the end of 2011 where i was falling back into my relapse and depression - food was becoming anxiety filled again and i was on holiday in England for christmas and i began looking at the alcohol alot more... it was everywhere and all i wanted to do was drink away my feelings. To just begin binge drinking... drink to numb the pain and anxiety. I did have a few drinks, but i was (and still am) a lightweight, i.e one drink and im tipsy. But it felt like most of my family had a drink or two everyday for that holiday so it wasnt so weird.

I had my phase of drinking (summer 2012) and i can say, the feeling the next day is not the most memorable one. I woke up with bruises all over my body, remembering the stupid things i had done the night before. I even have several drunk videos which i made with one of my friends... They are memories of course, ones that i can laugh at but still... a slight bit of regret behind them as well.
   But i dont regret having that summer of drinking, in fact i find that i got a chance to just be free... to let go of my fear around alcohol and even chocolate (because with alcohol came lots of chocolate and even visits to McDonalds). So i did become more free with my food and let go of fear foods. And it was my sort of wild and free teenage years. As now im seen as so mature and Got my shit together ;);)

^^The day after, i dont think ive ever felt so shit as that day.

Whats your opinion on alcohol?


  1. Being a bit on the minor side doesn't seem to matter when we talk about drinking and not drinking, but firstably, I'm 16 and therefore am not keen on alcohol. I know many people of my age are, with no worries, but it would be so brutal for me.

    Also, I hate how manipulative it is. Perfectly nice and well-mannered people usually lose all of their concentration and get kind of weak even considering the vast tone of voice they might use. I'm talking like really getting lost in it, young people have tendencies to be a bit careless with it. Of course this doesn't match with everybody, but I can see why can it be hard to stop before the top.

    In my life I've seen the people that I know lose their personalities, become unpredictable, and turning unable to hold up a reasonable conversation. I hate that. I hate irrationality when talking with people for real. For all my life I have thought that I don't want anyone who is into me as I am to lose their connection to the real me, just because I know how frustrating can it be.

    I'm stupid enough without the drinks and I don't want to imagine what kind of a bitch I would turn into after having a few of them. I understand and tolerate others' reasons to go for those beers, it's their decision and usually just a nice take-off if one needs to forget their worries for a while, but it's not for me.

    When I'm an adult, I might have a glass of wine with a fine meal in the special occasion for coulinaric experience, but I want to make it literally just A Glass.

  2. Hey I was just wondering if there are those 'stereotypical' cliques in your class e.g. popular ones, jocks, hipster artists etc.. As far as I understand you are more of a friends with everyone person but where would you classify yourself?? Haha maybe that's a weird question...? ^^

  3. I think it's good to drink in moderation, like you said. But it's a choice you make whether you drink or not. As long as it doesn't become an addiction I don't see anything wrong with having a glass of wine once in a while.
    I think a lot of people go through a phase of getting drunk often. But when it gets in the way of life then you should do something.
    For some it's better to not drink at all. As they get tipsy real fast or can't control themselves once they have a drink.
    But also 'normal' people, meaning non alcoholics do get drunk sometimes and I think that's ok. As long as it's not every Friday night or every day.
    I personally drink sometimes. Very rarely, but I'll have some wine or champagne. I am still underage, but I've never been drunk or anything. Usually when we have a bottle of wine at home my dad will let me try some. But that's because I want to try it and give him my opinion on it. He never forces me, of course. But I don't get beer or vodka. I mean if you're trying to get drunk then yeah maybe, but otherwise I can't really understand it (no offense to anyone :))
    I understand that getting drunk can be fun or a way to forget your problems for a little bit. But you shouldn't rely in it. Try to cope differently when you can.
    And yes drinking and working out don't really go together. That's why I rarely drink. But also it's not exactly good for you especially when you are young. And I don't enjoy drinking alcohol that much so it's not a problem for me.
    I think in one point in my life I will get drunk. Just to experience it probably. I do get pressured sometimes as I'm the one who drinks the least among my classmates. But I try not to give in. It's your body and it knows what's best for you. So if you don't want to have a drink by all means don't. You choose what to put in your body, no one else.

  4. I choose to avoid it. Overall, I make bad decisions when I drink, and it's much, much easier to just stay away. Plus, it helps me stay healthier!