Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Monday, July 28, 2014

Appointment at Mando

I always feel super exhausted after being at Mando. Not a physical tiredness but a mental one... like I just want to go lie in bed. It doesn't help either that i got the worst headache while I was there. It was like i couldn't think properly.... (too much coffee and too little water :/)
   I came there and got weighed (the number surprised me and not in a positive way :() though i know I'm healthy and happy so it shouldn't matter. I ate lunch and then it was time to answer lots of questions and formulas though as the computer didn't work everything had to be done on paper. My case manager also asked me that about food and exercise, nothing has changed since I was last there but she still wondered a bit about it. However once I explained just like I do on the blog and when I get negative comments about my lifestyle. I exercise because I love it. I do the workouts i feel like on the day, whether it's running, walking, strength or no workout at all. It's not a must or something to do because I feel guilty or need to compensate. And with the food i eat, it might seem overly healthy but that's the food we have at home.... i eat what I'm craving, how much I want and use what we have at home. If we have almond milk at home I use that, if we have flavoured yoghurt i eat that, if it's Greek yoghurt i eat that. Whether it's salted or plain nuts doesn't matter. How much I eat i dont know. Sometimes I eat 5 times a day other days it's 8 times. And once I explained this she seemed more relaxed. To me, the way i eat isn't weird, it's not weird for my family either though  it might seem weird for others. But just like Chinese culture might seem weird to the western culture it's the same.
   After 2 hours i was feeling dehydrated and tired and glad that I could go home!! ^-^ Now I don't have an appointment until this time next year ;) Yayy! alot will change in a year, it's almost exciting to know!!! :)

It feels good to just have this appointment over with, but every time I'm at Mando i feel like I need to over think everything. Not get up to get water even if I'm thirsty just because I don't want it to be too much activity. Make sure to lean back in the seat, not kick my leg etc all these small things which I never think about and just do naturally but now need to make sure I do them!! Hahha.
   I also feel like I'm being super analysed, Evert question has to be answered perfectly, though all i need to do is answer honestly and that's enough but still... its like i want to be the perfect example of healthy but not too healthy? I don't know... its like doing a test where you know that you will pass that you will get an A but still you rethink every answer. Is it really right? Though all that craves is honesty.

Now I'm feeling super tired! Ohh and ive answered some emails today as well :)


  1. How did the number surprise you when you got weighed?? How was it- up or down or the same? Sorry i was just wondering since you said it wasn't positive.

    1. Not sure if you're the same person who asked this in my other post, but i answered it there anyway :)

  2. You're my inspiration to add snacks to my meals

    1. Yayyy!! I love snacks, and snacking is great!

  3. Wow sounds like a mentally taxing day for you then! I think sometimes experts do overanalyse everything which is extremely annoying I know they do it for a reason but still!? :) at least it's over with!