Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Thursday, July 24, 2014

Anorexia to bulimia

Going from anorexia to bulimia is something slightly Taboo to talk about... you pretend it doesnt happen. The person who is sick doesnt want to admit that they went from full control, barely eating anything to suddenly not being able to stop their binges. People around you pretend it doesnt happen, or they dont know... they are just happy that you are eating again. But not knowing what happens behind closed doors.

However this is something i want to bring up, that going from anorexia to bulimia is NOT uncommon. It happen and with more people than 1.

When you are so restrictive, and starve your body all it does is scream for energy... it wants food but you deny it that. Food is one of the basic things we need to survive and without it or minimal food we dont last long.
  Eventually there comes a point when you feel you cant be so restrictive, you are just too hungry and so you eat something and suddenly you cant stop. It goes from 2 slices of bread to 6 cheese sandiwches & 3 bowls of cereal with milk followed by 2 handfuls of dried fruit.
   The anxiety over this overwhelming binge, this uncontrollable thing gives you so much anxiety that you purge to get rid of the guilt and the food..
   and then you might begin restricting the next day, to keep from binging. But restriction just leads to more binging and purging and the cycle continues.
 Ive been there, ive been through that phase. The restriction, uncontrollable binging due to hunger and then purging from the guilt. Only to restrict the next day.

If you go through this phase or go from anorexia to bulimia DONT feel ashamed. I know its tough, its tough mentally as its going from complete control (or what you feel is contrl√≥l, though not really) to absaloutly no control and huge binges.
 Talk to someone. This is my best advice... thigns CAN get better, but going form one ED to another isnt good. Just like going from anorexia to orthorexia, its just changing weird eating habits.

The binging happens because your body is so starved of energy. It just wants food. You can find yourself binging on high carb or high energy foods... i binged on cheese sandwiches, cereal and dry fruit as i had begun restricting and cutting carbs from my diet. Which WASNT good.

Returning to a meal plan can really help you, as it structurres up your eating habits. You eat several times a day and you know when and what to eat. And to keep away from binging.
   For me, i had to get rid of the foods i binged on for a while and then slowly return them into my diet. But i felt i couldnt eat them in a normal amount.
   For some, they prefer to have those types of foods as more staple items in  their diet so that they DONT binge on them later, and others need to cut their binging foods fomro their diet completely. So find what works for you.

Also finding distractions wehn you feel you will binge... go out for a walk, talk to someone, do something with your hands or soemthing to get you using your brain such as maths or sudoku? :)

TALK to someone. Eat regularly and DONT restrict certain food groups, that wont helop you, Also making sure you eat enough. These things will help to stop the binging.

Dont feel ashamed or embarrassed, this is in your head, but also binging is physical if you have gone from restrictive eating. Your body and mind are starving, and then it goes from being starving to just not being able to control the binges, that you binge just because.

Dont get trapped in different eating disorders, instead fight to break free. I broke free from anorexia, my binging & purging phase and even from my exercise addiction. (and of course self harm and depression as well). I am free from all of that, it took years of struggle and years of recovery but now i am healthy, happy and free. And YOU can do it as well.
Just ask for help and support and fight the voice in your head!!!!


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  2. this was so helpful! I have been binging on foods all through the night lately and then becoming restrictive in the morning creating a binge/restrict cycle. I'm glad that it's something common and that it will get better, thanks love<3

  3. Hi izzy ! I know you are busy and only answer this if you have time :) I'm fully recovered but like everyone sometimes I don't have as much of an appetite , on days like this do you eat just as much or listen to your body ?

    1. Well it depends, if i only have apetite for say breakfast and dinner then yes i make myself eat more. But if its just that say i only eat salad for lunch and some fruit and nuts for snack then i dont purposely make myself eat more just because. But often on days where im not so hungry i make an effort to eat more calorie dense food i.e adding more nuts to food, adding oil to salads or when preparing food etc just to make suyre that i dont eat too little, because that wont help either :)
      Making things like smoothies and milkshakes are a good idea as well or drinking some juice through out the day :)

  4. Thank you, izzy. This post helped me so much!
    I feel so ashamed. I lost my control and binged. It's so hard and makes me feel really tired. Maybe you are right - I'm going to talk to somebody. Bulimia is an eating disorder, too. I think people like me always think, that being anorexic is "strong" and bulimia is "weak". But thats not true.
    Thank you for this wonderful post, izzy!

    1. Stay strong, getting help and support is needed. You ARENT weak, you just need to change and get control over the binges. Going back to more structured eating and finding good distractions can help :)

  5. Wooow! I experienced it all too. It was a relly relly difficult and exhausting phase of my life. But after a year plus six months i can say, that I overlapped my bulimia phase and my anorexia phase. I know, i can't eat without a few habits, but I work on it and I try to eat in company!
    Your post touche myself and I like, that you can write free about this subjects and that you are free!
    You're right! Bulimia isn't a weakness. It#s a phase, sometimes, during anorexia... '
    But we will all get stronger!
    You are very strong and like an idol!
    Thank you! J <3

    1. Thats great to hear :) And im glad you got through that phase!! Stay strong and kee fighting!

  6. I've fought the voice in my head all day today. Just finished dinner, a 4 egg omelett with butter and 100 grams of candy for dessert.

    Tomorrow i'm going to help out at a bachelors party, even though i've gained a whole kg (according to plan). 80 % of me just want to hide away, but i won't do that.

    I know it wouldn't be the right thing to do to hide. I know that, because you constantly remind me every day, Izzy.

    I am fighting back! Right now!


    1. That sounds delicious, especially the candy :) :) Yumm! You are worth treating yourself :)
      Dont hide away, thats what your ED wants. But go out and work, it will make you feel better (hopefully anyway!) I find that when i feel bad, leaving the house will make my thoughts go away. But if i just sit inside with all my thoughts i just feel worse. And well dont with the weight gain, thats GREAT!! Rememeber that!

  7. Izzy,

    Thank you once again, blonde angel :)

    I saw that you have many, many visitors that comment on your post.

    I feel very lonely in recovery and I truly want to recover. Speaking with other people like me would help a lot.

    Could you please send my e-mail address to whoever wants to speak?