Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Sunday, June 29, 2014

Workout progress photo

I put together this little collage, just to see how far ive actually come. Its so easy to see no difference, to feel like you are in the same position you were 2 years ago... feels like you've made no progress. Of course i know mentally i am very different!!! I used to do cardio 7 days a week, because i just didnt know any better and was still struggling.
   But sometimes i look at myself and just think...i feel so skinny, now theres nothing wrong with being naturally skinny, alot of people like that look... but i guess you've figured that that isnt exactly my ideal body. I prefer feeling and looking strong.
   Sometimes i just feel like ive made no progress at all... like im just standing in the same position all the time, and granted, i have hit a plateau with my workouts recently. Because i just dont know what i want... at the start of the year i decided to focus solely on strength training as i wanted to build muscle, and i did. However now that its summer im doing more cardio, running more, walking more and i love it... but my body type already struggles to have muscles... im not someone who easily gets stronger. Its alot of work and effort behind it. And then when i do cardio, it sort of negates that...And this is an ongoing struggle i have... because i LOVE running & walking. But i also love strength training, and feeling strong... And im sure i can do both, but then i need to make sure that i actually am eating enough.. i almost need proffessional help so that i know what and how long etc...
  But anyway.. i feel i need to sit down and consider what my workout goals are. I mean im still going to workout anyway, because it makes me happy. It makes me feel good... but soemtimes its good to have a goal. I have my 10km run in August, so i really need to start preparing for that.. just havent felt motivated to it. But apart from that, i dont have any real goals.... Which i guess is why it feels like im standing still.

Also there is this quote which goes: The day you started lifting is the day you become forever small. And i can tell you, that that is true.
  Its like i dont see how i actually look... almost like when you are sick, and you dont see how thin you are. I dont actually see how strong i supposedly look... my sister tells me i look like ive gotten stronger. I dont se it at all... which also makes me question if i have even changed, or if i still look the same as 2012...

^^Hahah, just a little workout update, i guess?
  But here is my progress picture, from 2012 (when i was first allowed to go to the gym) and then today 2014!!


  1. You look really strong! It's at times like this I wish I could go back to gym again, but my clinic wont let me yet:/
    anyway, well done on the great progress!:)

    1. Thank you!! You will be allowed to exercise again someday, if thats what you want. For now listen to your doctors and rest as thats whats needed!

    2. aha it's okay!!:) it's really hard to rest and stuff, because i'm one of the type of people who always want to be doing something aha! im trying though :) thank you for replying!

    3. I know its tough, im naturally very restless and like doing things as well.. but the more you rest, the better it is for you!

  2. I don't know why, but I feel appealed^^
    I now I had to find my own way, but you are very inspire! I hope to get the same way as you! I find your blog months ago and you and your blog show me, that it was good to gain. You affirm me, that skinny isn't good, but it's a great mental thing and I need and have a lot of help from specialist^^
    Thank you!

    1. I had write you sonner.. I was afraid, but I'm anonymous anyway :D

    2. Thank you :) I am glad you like my blog. And you shouldnt feel scared about commenting :) You can be anonymous, so dont be scared or worried!

  3. your progress is awesome!! it makes me want to recover even faster to get to my gym again XD
    your looking really strong:)

    1. Hahah, thats great to hear :) And thank you... i dont actuall see it myself :( Its almost like when you are sick, you dont see how thin you are... i dont see how supposedly strong i look.

  4. is the 2012 photo after the whole water retention and stomach bloating faze ended? I swear i look like im 6 months pregnant after one salad. if it wasnt for the extreme bloating and water retention recovery would be so much easier to get through. its always what gets me to relapse again? but if your stomach can look like that again after the whole bloating faze then thank god.

    1. I cant remember when that 2012 photo was taken, but it was either during or while i was recoverin from my relapse... so i had been eating little, then binging and purging etc.
      But once the water retention and bloating went away, i did have a flat stomach... i mean everyone bloats after eating but in general i wasnt bloated all the time.
      Keep going, if you eat normally, regularly and enough your body will stop bloating as it will get used to the amount you eat and feel safe, and be able to stop holding water and bloating.