Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com

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Sunday, June 15, 2014

Evening snack & preparing for tomorrow

Tonight for my snack i made casein chocolate mousse & 4 squares (and more to be followed im sure of this delicious Lindt chocolate!!! Super delicious :)



Tomorrow i have lots of tests at the CF clinic. Blood tests, doctors, lots of talking etc I am NOT looking forward to it. Infact, when my mum came home i had a little break down. I just dont want to go... i almost feel like someone is going to have to drag me there.
  The thing is, i am sooo tired of hospital and doctors. I want to escape everything that has to do with hospitals, but i cant. Because its part of my life, and it always will be. If i fight against it, it will just make things worse and im more likely to spend more time there.
   But i guess i just wish i didnt have CF. I am of course lucky that i dont spent alot of time in hospital, when i was younger i spent 50% of my time at hospital & 80% of my time ssick. So atleast thats not the case anymore... but i think thats why i find it so hard to actually go to hospital, because i feel i am healthy. I just want to be completely healthy and normal, have nothing to do with CF, hospitals, doctors.
   
The anxiety is always worst beforehand. I know once im at the hospital, everything should just float by... i go to all the different appointments.
   Im planning on buying myself cola & chocolate covered nuts/trail mix as a little boost for tomorrow. (Also have tests on Tuesday.)
  And my mum has promised that she will take me out to either a brunch or breakfast buffet some day :) As a little reward, hgahahaha!!
 
When i was little my mum would always buy me a little present after i had been at the doctors, but as i got older that was no longer the case. But when she suggested go for a breakfast buffet - I just cant say no :)

3 comments:

  1. I got this wave of blue when I read that about you always having your cf.. I wish I could help :( I know it doesn't control your life that much, but even you having those hospital meetings throws me an urge to hug it all out of you.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you :) Some days are tougher than others... generally i dont think so much about it, but at times - like now. I just wish i didnt have CF.

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  2. Oh dear, i wish i could get you a little present...so here are my best wishes and thoughts for you for today and tommorow!!! And a real big hug!!!

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