Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Eating even though you're not hungry

Part of recovery is gaining weight. Which means eating alot of food. And in plain simple English, eating more food than your body needs. Which means, eating even though your not hungry.
  When you have eaten very little calories for a long time, you begin to lose your hunger and fullness feelings and in time, your stomach actually shrinks. Making it hard to eat large quantities. So with recovery and eating more, you need to expand your stomach... which takes time. So small/normal portions can feel like LOADS, because your not used to them. And of course, the body has natural instincts.... it doesnt want to eat more than it needs. Or sure, it can. But you start feeling full.... but you need to push past that full feeling, because even though your body says no, it can still cope with the extra food.
One thing which i was very scared of when i was sick and trying to recover was that i thought i would keep going up in weight. I would never feel full, i would just eat loads. Because i was eating to gain weight. And i knew my body would adapt to eating that much... and always want that much food.
   And yes, i still eat the same amount of food (or maybe not, thinking about it....considering that i had a meal plan of circa 2800 calories & 2-3 supplement drinks a day)  but i eat alot of food. But the thing is, my body has adapted to my intake of food, and no longer goes up in weight from eating alot of food. And of course, i listen to my body so i know when i feel full or when i feel hungry....

   So... continuing...with recovery, it means eating more... Though it doesnt mean eat unitl you puke.
You can still eat normal portions, but add more calorie dense food. Things like adding oil/dressing to your salads. (No oil doesnt equal becoming fat. Its about balance and moderation of everything. If you use like a liter oil, then its not exactly healthy.) Cheese (with a higher fat procent) is a good way to get some extra calories in. & nuts (if your not allergic ;) ). Avocado is a favourite of mine. Halloumi. Salmon.
   Drinking your calories is a great way to get energy in smaller amounts. Making a smoothie/milkshake, adding coconut flakes/coconut oil is great also. Drink a milkshake as a night snack.. or part of a night snack!!
 Drink milk or juice with your meals.

Eat 3-4 snacks a day. They dont have to be huge if you eat calorie dense food (as stated above). A great snack, now coming into autumn/winter is cheese sandwiches and hot chocolate ;) (This might just be a swedish thing?)
Lovely in Pink | via TumblrTumblr

Bake some treats, so that you can eat that as dessert.

Make choices like eating granola instead of cereal, drinking full fat milk instead of skim milk, eating a snack if your not that hungry. Adding that extra potato. Dont be scared to eat dessert. Take that extra biscuit.

The fact is, you need to gain weight. So think like this, you can stick to your lettuce salads, but that is not going to help you gain weight. Or you can decide, F**k my ED. I am going to try my fear foods. If im going to gain weight, i might as well eat chocolate, and lots of it. I will eat food which I  enjoy.
   So sure, if you want to gain weight eating egg whites, salad and chicken breast & doing your 2 hours of cardio everyday... sure do that. But its not going to go so well.
But i can garantee you, there are many people who are jealous of you.... that you can eat ALOT and not worry about it. And yes, you may be thinking But i dont want to eat this much. I thought like that once... but you know what, i am happy that i can eat so much (not that i need to gain weight, but because i have a fast metabolism). While many people are talking about dieting and eating their low carb meals, im over here eating half a jar of peanut butter and a loaf of bread (I am actually surprised at the amount of food i can eat!! haha )
Dont see gaining weight as a bad thing. Because you know what eating more will give you more energy. And yes, by eating more than your body needs then you are gaining wieght. But what is so bad about that.You need it. So its time to start munching... dont be scared to munch away on snacks the whole day, if thats what you prefer (though i can recommend more regular meal & snack times, as that will be better when you are trying to eat more normally.)
   You will have to eat even if your not hungry, but like i mentioned. Eat more calorie dense food. And it will take time for your stomach to expand and your body to adapt, but give it time. And you will feel your hunger feelings coming back, and you might even realise that what you thought was loads of food, is not making you gain weight anymore. And is not alot of food anymore.

 I dont know if i actually helped or just strayed from the point of the post. But in recovery, you need to eat even though you're not hungry. And its just to eat anyway, because that is what your body needs at the moment.


  1. Hi Izzy! This is a great post.
    I´m wondering a couple of things and want to ask your experience about them.
    At what point you could start trusting your body signals (about hunger and cravings)? I mean when where you able to eat enough just by listening what you wanted to eat? Where you weight restored?
    And then: Did you force yourself to eat your fearfoods even if you weren´t craving for them?
    I myself for example have no interest in eating cake or anything sweet or anything greasy etc. you know what I mean. I have absolutely no cravings :(
    Thank you!

  2. I have a question, too, that I'd love for you to blog about!

    Once you started gaining weight, did it show when it came to your clothing sizes, or did you find that a lot of your weight gain went to restoring bone/muscle/organ weight? Of course I have bloating, like we all do, but my actual clothing size hasn't changed too much. Was that the case for you?

    I need some new clothes and am having shopping withdrawals, but am scared to buy many, because I'm worried they won't fit for too long as I continue the gradual weight gain process, and eventually, the gain will appear in places other than my internal organs, etc.

  3. Trust me - cheese sandwiches and hot chocolate is a global thing!! ;-)

  4. I can for one say that when it finally clicked for me that I can eat what I wanted and decided to finally end this disorder, the sheer joy of eating "normal" food was so extremely exciting! I could finally eat pizza with my friends or go out for that cookie at 3am while studying in a group! :) Such a great post.


  5. This post is exactly what I needed to read right now. I went to the doctor yesterday, and basically if I don't start to eat and gain weight I will have to go in the hospital.
    But eating is so hard.
    Just eating that extra cookie because you can... such a scary concept! terrifying
    But I have to take the leap of faith like you did.
    Thank you for your inspiration, I hope you are feeling better.