Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com

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Friday, June 27, 2014

Comparison is the thief of joy

I dont compare my body with others, i am confident enough in my body to know that i am happy with the way i look .Even if i have down and bad days as well...
   But what i do seem to do is compare my life with others...I catch myself wishing i was someone else... had someone elses life.


  Sometimes its hard to see how much good you have in your own life. I mean i have my family and my friends, a great house, a good economy, a good school, a live in a good country and i have good things going for me... but at the same time. I cant help looking at other peoples lives and thinking they have it better...
  I mean what am i doing with my life? i know most people ask themselves this, im sure others might look at me and think i have my shit together, that i havea  great life.
  Like i know my friends look at me and wish that they enjoyed exercise and worked out as often as me - they've told me this. But then i look at them and wish i was as confident around other people as they are, i am not the type of person to strike up a conversation with random people... with my closest friends i am completely me and dont care about what people around me think. I can joke, laugh and just let everything go. But someitmes with just my friends, i can find myslf more guarded.... scared to let them in. Scared to just let go....
  I come off as the shy girl at first.

I have lots of things going for me online, partnerships, some form of money anyway and other good things... but sometimes that can feel like nothing.
  Though im the one who has created it. Im the one who has fought for everything i have in my life... if i have a goal or a dream i work towards it. I try to make things happen.

Social media is something which can be great, i mean it has brought SO MUCH to me... seriously, i cant even explain how much positivity has come from my social media sites. But at the same time, it also brings negativity.... seeing other peoples lives. And the fact is, People choose what they want to post. People arent going to post pictures of the days they look like crap, of the junk food they eat, or the days they jsut spend at home... instead they post the parties they go to, the holidays they are on, their abs and their salads. People post the good times... not the everyday or bad stuff. And that is something i need to remember... even when i compare myself and my life to my friends... they arent going to post or talk about their boring everyday life... or they do, but i mean it still feels more exciting than my life, if you get me? haha



I've learnt to not compare my body to others, so now i need to learn to not compare my life to others... but it jsut feels like everyone eelse has it better than me. Everyone else seems happier, does more in their life?
   I just have too many thoughts in my head at the moment, alot of negativity. Even when im actually doing things, i mean when i ran the colour run, or went to New York etc those are exciting things which not everyone does, but yet... it feels lke i dont do anything with my life. Like its jsut a waste of time....

So many thoughts. And i cant even put words to my thoughts, this post has just come out as a ramble... some type of thought trail, bubble. hahaha



5 comments:

  1. I know exactly what you mean Izzy. Foe example some days I wish I was like you, free from ed struggle and doing awesome stuff. For example going to New York, running the color run... etc
    It makes me feel like I have nothing to fight for in my life, but thinking more about it i too have lots of good things just like you. Envy is so not a nice feeling and it can really take over and ruin some days totally. That´s why it´t one of the seven deadly sin ;) right?
    Just keep making your life the way you want and reach for your dreams. Not someone else's, cause we only see the pretty covers of our friends and bloggers lives.

    Keep positive!

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    1. Exactly, we only see small parts of peoples lives - through social media. And we compare our whole lives, positives and negatives with a small part of theirs.. i know most people have these types of thoughts.. its something i really need to work with.

      And you ARE good at things, and life IS worth living. THings will get better :) I promise.

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  2. Its just to focus on your journey and purpose. Everyone you meet is only there to help YOU on your way. Focus on your dreams and goals and move on.You can have an exciting adventurous life to, and take notes of those people ( maybe where you want to travel, eat at, etc. ), and get nothing more out of them. Move forward knowing you are you and you have your ow personal journey with tons of excitement ahead :) YOUVE GOT THIS!

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  3. What makes me sad is that before I went to school, at the age of five to six, I was truly myself. I was a friend for everyone and was therefore a very liked, even a popular kid. I was extremely confident, loud and did what I wanted to - a true leo, I've said - yet I always behaved well and used great manners in the finer occassions and the presence of aucthorities.

    And then came the school with its behaviour grading. I was always rated with the best grades and the only flaw in my report was the behaviour grade which was just slightly below perfect.

    So I put the muter track on and hid myself.

    This and a certain clitch in my family have left me with a huge frustration. I can't find the way to return the fearless yet tidely-mannered girl who I still feel to be all the time. In my mind there are some amazing jokes that come up to me if I'm able to imagine the situation in my own peace with a few seconds more than there really would be. I'm feeling like crap every time I meet these people who always have the right thing to say, seeing what I could've become. When I get to know the person I find that chill and humour myself but it's really hard to get to know the people who would enjoy my company when that stage arrives.

    Though one thing I have managed to take back from my childhood - I'm the girl in the skirt again :) Yet I fear I'll never be able to show the world the person I really am.

    Ps. I just read all of your postsfrom the past 12 days since I've been offline for my own decision. I hope it's ok to compensate all of the unhappened comments with a novel like this? :)

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    1. Sorry its taken so long to reply, i dont see all comments in my comment box so thank you for reminding me to reply!
      I didnt really understand what you said, but you became more quiet because of the behaviour grading? There is the same behaviour grading in schools in Sweden and i get pretty much As in everything apart from the fact that i am very silent in class, i can the answer but often dont answer. But the teachers kept telling me to speak more and so that has helped and in class i speak more. But like you, i am quite around friends and that and before i truly get to know them... i can think of the perfect things to say, a really good jojke etc but its like the moment passes before i get to say it so i seem even more quiet than i am.
      But i am someone who wacthes ana naluzes everything, im not shy i just prefer to think about what i say first. I choose what to say.

      Look deep inside yourself and find the person you are. You dont have to hide and stay quite if thats notw hat you want. Dont let school stop you... you only go in school for a few years, but you need to find who you are. How you like to behave and how you are as a person. It takes time, but learn to be comfortable in yourself :) :)

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