Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Sunday, May 18, 2014


Its better to try and fail a few times, than to never try at all.

Some people think that relapsing during recovery is inevitable, thats not really what i think.... As it depends from person to person. Though relapsing is very common, or going from one eating disorder to another.
I dont think i ever relapsed,  as i just sort of tricked and fooled everyone for the year that i went back and forth from inpatient to day patient and back in again to inpatient ... and so it continued. I gained weight while i was an inpatient, as i had no choice... and then as soon as i was a day patient, i stopped eating again and lost all the weight. So it wasn't like i was trying to recover....
  However, i did have a bit of a slip up/relapse when i was half recovered. I went through a period of not eating enough, then binging and then purging, and i began losing weight again. I was still half sick at that time, but all my ED thoughts were coming back stronger. I  remember feeling so ashamed of myself.... as i felt so out of control, and i knew that if i continued what i was doing i would end up back at Mando... the place which i had worked so hard to get away from. And the thing which helped motivate me to stop with what i had begun to do was my blog... all my readers who looked up to me and saw me as an inspiration... and what was i doing? I was beginning with bad behaviours again... that period only lasted a few weeks before i was back on track to recovery.
   I didnt write about what was going on at the time (start of 2012), as i felt so embarrassed about it, especially the binging part. But since then, i have written several posts about it... because relapsing/slipping up/going from one eating disorder to another, is not something to be ashamed about.... and its something you need to talk about.

For some people however, they can spend years trying and failing.... and just giving up on recovery. But never give up. If you give up, then you'll never recover.... If you don't believe you can recover, then you won't
   You have to believe in yourself... You have to want to recover.
Set up goals for yourself to keep you motivated in recovery.... to keep you going.

If you feel you are relapsing, then dont feel bad about yourself... but dont just give up. Instead, realize that you are relapsing and take control of the situation. It is hard. But you have to be strong.
  If you realise that you start getting anxiety around certain foods, which you had started eating again, or start running more often because you feel guilty for eating, or start skipping snacks.... then take control. Make sure you eat.... eat what is on your meal plan. Even if you feel like the anxiety is going to kill you.... remember it is not going to do that.
  You have 2 options, you  can just give up..... let yourself relapse and spend even more time sick.... or you can fight back. Do things which give you anxiety, things that make you stronger and your ED weaker.
  You have to do things which scare you and give you anxiety...

Recover is not a stroll in the park.. its a mental battle. You have to push yourself to do all these things which scare you, but that makes you stronger. And make recovery just a little bit easier.

Relapsing doesnt happen to everyone, but if it happens to you... dont give up. Dont just lie down and decide that fine, being sick is better than being healthy....?
Remember, if you're not recovering from you eating disorder, you're dying from it.

Also.... here are some famous people who failed several times before they finally succedeed... (Yes, i know its not the same thing....) but if they had just given up after their first set back, then Apple, Walt Disney or even Harry Potter would not have been made....  So think about that, what are you giving up when you decide to just give up?

1 comment:

  1. You are such a good writer! You should write a book someday :) Thanks for the inspiration