Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com

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Thursday, May 22, 2014

My mind is somewhere else!

Helllo :)

Soooo.... where do i start with my day? 
  
Well, ill start with when i was leaving for school. Feeling nervous but ready to do. I took the bus planning that i would have around 20 minutes before hand in school until the test started.
  However, it didnt turn out that way. It usually takes 10 - MAX 15 minutes on the bus to/from school. But today... it took 30 minutes due to trafik. I was beginning to panic on the bus... we were moving millimetres, and the minutes were just flying by. Being late to the tests was not an option, if you came late you would have to redo the test another time.
   I had to call one of my friends, tell them to tell one of the teachers that iw ould be late. Finally when the bus got to the station before i usually get off, i got off and i RAN! I knew a sort of short cut(?) which contained lots of stairs. I knew i would be faster running than jsut standing on the bus, when it was stuck in trafic and not coming anywhere.
  So when i got to school, i was sweating, trying to catch my breathe, in a fluster. And had to quickly run to my locker, get water etc and got into the test room c.a 2 minutes before the test was to begin.
  Not the best way... i sat there and it felt likei  had forgotten pretty much everything. Like i had left my brain on the bus ;)

Also during the maths test i drank a celsius to give me extra energy, however i had drank a coffee in the morning and my body was still buzzing from runnign so i ended up getting too much energy! -_-' I dont know what i was thinking drinking an energy drink when i didnt need the energy`? I guess i wasnt thinking.

The first part of the maths test? It felt like i had no idea what i was doing, half of the test the teacher hadnt even taught us, so i did not feel confident at all. However the 2nd part i think i did better.
  The 2 hours passed by quickly and then it was lunch time, where we had barely 45 minutes (which actually isnt alot!) and then it was time for the 3rd and final part which contained pretty much on A questions. But i think i did ok. And the 2+ hours passed by quickly once again.

And finally, the tests were over and all i can do now is hope that i have done enough!!! But i am no longer going to think of maths, or this test... for now its done and ive done my best. I cant change anything.

I came home and just...didnt know what to do? I didnt want to study, and it was too warm to sit and watch series...... so i decided i would bake, now that i have free time (as this weekend it will be all studying, once again)
   And i think i spent around 90 minutes looking at different recipes... wanting to bake, and then not wanting to bake.... it was more that i wanted the finished product, not so much standing there baking. hahaha
   But finally i decided iw ould bake, so i went to the shop.... and i know the food shop well, i.e where everything is. But i just wandered around like a lost person, and i spent more than 30 minutes in there just wandering around, there were 2 things on my list which i coukldnt find anywhere, i was justl ooking and looking and didnt see them.
   But finally i got help and found them!!!

I came home, not feeling motivated to bake at all.... but i decided i might as well. I had spent money on lots of nuts, PB, dates etc.... i might as well maken soemthing yummy out of them.
  So thats what ive been doing the past 2-3 hours... And i have eaten WAAAYYY to much of what ive made. (I.e licking the spoon, tasting everything, eating handfuls of nuts!!! Most probably like 200g nuts have been eaten ;) - But thats the best part of baking, the tasting!"!!)

If the recipes turn out good (so far they taste great!) would you like me to post the recipe?
  Its all raw/vegan/'healthh' things...?

:)



4 comments:

  1. sure. i'm vegan and would love some ideas... :)

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  2. So....do you pay for all your bakery-stuff by yourself??? Plus you buy all the questbars and energydrinks...aren`t there much more lovely things to shop?

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  3. I dont pay for all the baking stuff myself, but some of the things i do. And questbars and energy drinks etc i pay for myself.... but as i really dont spend money on other things, i.e clothes, shopping etc i do have money for those types of things. But i am a big saver!! I save my money rather than spend it (though im not greedy, its just that i priortize!) :)

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  4. The cheesecake looks amazing I would love the recipe!! :)

    ReplyDelete