Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Saturday, April 12, 2014

An inspiring message

I got this email, and was asked if i could share it and thought it was great. A very inspiring message, which i think you should all read :)

 hi, Izzy.
needless to say, I praise you and your blog. I've recommended it to more 
than a few of my friends :)
today, I decided to ride the bus to and from campus as I know rest is 
essential, i only walked to the grocery store and back today.
as i was walking home, a woman stopped me and said something very upsetting 
 to me (the same woman had stopped me yesterday and said it then but today, 
she elaborated.)

"You're so skinny, you should model!"

i actually had someone delete me from their facebook because my argument 
was against her and not supportive. their last comment was : "you dont get 
to pretend your problems are the only valid ones, millions of people 
struggle with body issues and its not just anorexia. Get pissed off cuz 
some old lady thought you were attractive. Try having millions of people 
 give you disgusted dirty looks everytime you go into public, and listen to 
them talk behind your back thinking you cant hear them. then tell me about 
how its upsetting and hurtful that some old woman thought you were pretty.":

 to which I responded in full. "its the fact that she 
 said because im SKINNY. thats why im angry. only skinny people should model 
is what the bitch pretty much let on. it disgusts me. why cant women and 
men be beautiful on their own, not based on their shape or weight? im angry 
because my physique was her basis of reason."

 i recently made a follow up status "
to everyone here who can see this post: please, hear me.

You are beautiful. Not because of your body shape, type or weight. not 
because of what you look like. not because of your hair color or eye color or skin pigment or gender. not because of your appearance. but because of 
who you are on the inside.
it makes me so sad to know that I was told by a neighbor i could be a model 
based solely on my physique. i burns me to know that men and women 
everywhere have judgement passed against them on what they may or may not 
accomplish in their lives due to a shape.

please, please hear me.
You are so beautiful. you are, and you're so much more than a shape and 
 number from a scale. you are worth so much more than that.

please love yourself because there is no one else like you on this planet."

i love myself and my body. i hope this serves as some inspiration to 
 whoever may see this (if you choose to publish this letter, it's not 
 personal but a lesson learned and some bit of hope). I just want the world 
to know that beauty is not only skin deep and not a shape. that happiness 

 is more than counting calories. and that I, a recovering 
 orhtorexic/anorexic am now strong and smart enough to push past closed 
minds and closed doors.


  1. A tear just fell from my eye when i red this. It moved me so much, this letter. In a way it made me happy, because i realised what u wrote was so true. "Everybody are beautiful" should be repeated overcand over until the end of time!

    In another way the letter made me sad, because i realised how i throw away my youth. Im skipping a party tonight bc my BMI is 19.35 and i think im too fat still.... i have to reach a BMI of 18.1.

    Im so messed up!

    1. Dear Leo,

      Please, please. Look at what you have just written. You said 'a tear dropped from you eye' and you know you are 'throwing away your youth'. And then you sad you 'HAVE TO' reach a BMI of 18.1. Why do you have to? What does '18.1', these 3 numbers, mean to you? Does a lower BMI make you more attractive in a party? Does being even skinnier make you a better person? Does anorexia give you more friends, more love?

      There is nothing in life that you 'HAVE TO' do. You are a person with legs and hands. You have choices - you have the freedom to decide how you live your life. If you want to keep wasting your time to chase a number (BMI) that is nothing more than some scientific bullsh*t and government agendas - go ahead. But you know you are letting ED takes over you. You are letting the fu*king anorexia taking the love you deserve to have, the joy in life given by God, and the chance to actually 'break free', from you.

      I know it's hard. I know it's FUCKING hard, not to listen to the evil voice in your head. But THINK about it. Take a moment, look at Izzy's blogposts, look at your own words, look at old photos. Think about what you really want in life. Life is short, it's up to you how you want to make the most of it in this limited time.


    2. Thanks for giving me feedback so soon!
      Im going to take a shower and at least go to the party and peek in through the door. Im going to put my cutest dress on, and wear a jacket on top. That way i hope no one will se how big my arms are.

      I know itll just be a compromise... but i feel so brave right now! Im not going to listen to my weightfobia tonight, im going to try to listen you, J :)!


    3. Dear Leo,

      I'm glad to hear that you've taken the courage to socialise. However, you still have to learn to accept your body, and the way you look. Everyone looks different, having a lower BMI does not mean you look better than the others; similarly having a higher BMI does not mean you are 'fat'. Everyone is unique, and beautiful in their own ways.

      Much love,

    4. Leo.

      When I made this post on my facebook, I wanted no likes, no comments and i thankfully got none. what i wanted was to reach out and show people that numbers , as "J" said, MEAN NOTHING. you have got to realize that before it's too late. it took two trips to the ER, the first involving x rays and the second having my blood taken, a very darn near death experience to make me see that.
      bmi is nothing. science is different is every body. you must realize that your happiness is more important that starving and purging to be the beanpole on the cold metal runway. those models are not role models... they are mannequins for clothes. please, you are so much more than that and I truly want you to see that. that's whyat my post was all about.

      keep your chin up, dear.

  2. Thank you so much for posting this, Izzy, it was such a good start to my day and checking in and seeing it gives me hope for others!!