Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com

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Saturday, March 22, 2014

How to deal with unsupportive/mean comments

Izzy, when people (friends, family, etc.) comment on your healthy eating in a not-so-supportive way like "why don't you just eat what we eat" or even "wow, you eat a lot", how do you deal with it?



One of the things which you have to be prepared for in recovery is that someone will comment something - whether its about food or the way you look. Sometimes the comments arent actually negative, they are supposed to be supporting like 'you've gained weight, you look great now!' But all you hear is, you've gained weight and just take it as a negative and cant let go of that thought, instead of actually taking the whole comment as a compliment!


I often got comments about how much i ate - from older people. Infact there came a stage where i was like, i am not going to meet anyone older than 40 because they seem to think its ok to comment about the way i look and what i eat. I dont really know what it is about older people (from like 60+) they just seem to say what they think, not really evaluating whether that comment will hurt or not.

   There is a not so close family member, who whenever we have dinner parties or go out to eat and he's with he seems to comment about the amount i ate - he did it even when i was sick and had to follow my meal plan, but he still does it now. The thing is though that he eats basically as much as me... 

When i get comments about what/how much i eat i just laugh and shrug it off. My family like to comment that i eat like a horse and that my futur man will have to be prepared for an appetie of 10 hungry vikings :) haha However those types of comments dont bother me. Infact most of the time its me making those comments. But as its my close family, i know that they dont mean it in a mean way. My friends dont actually comment.... and with what i eat... well, i am not eating anything weird or uncommon. Everyone has different likes and dislikes and appetites. I mean it is me who eats the most, the rest seem to eat miniscule amounts but at the same time they know that i exercise alot and the way i eat now i've eaten the same way since i started the school so they dont see anything weird with it. 
   
When people ask why you arent eating what they eat... well it depends what your actual reason is? If you are scared of the food, then i dont think you should be eating anything different. But i guess you can just say that you don't like the food that the others are eating. Or you have your own food. But you gotta know WHY you are eating different... Its hard to give good advice because i mean when you're sick you often dont want to eat with others, or not eat what is being served because you dont know how its been prepared etc and that is not good. Then you just need to face the fear and eat what is being served.
   But then there are times where maybe  you go to an italian restaurant with friends andeveryone orders pizza and you go for the pasta or say a salad and everyone asks why you arent eating a pizza. Then its just to explain why - you dont like it, you dont feel like one, you wanted pasta etc You shouldnt need to lie or make up an excuse. Give the actual reason why.

I mean for those who are competing in body fitness etc they need to go on extreme diets, and basically just bringt heir own food everywhere. Those types of people get comments all the time about why they are only eating hteir own food - and then they just explain that they are going to compete. Of coourse, that is very different compared to 'normal' people who bring lunchboxes everywhere they go...

And with the comments of Wow you eat alot. This can be hurtful, but instead of taking it as critique, know that you are eating enough for YOU. And that those who comment that you eat alot are often those who are jealous that you actually can eat alot. Once again i think honesty is best... 1) You are trying to gain wieght 2) You have a fast metabolism or 3) You're hungry.


  One thing which i HATE, in society is that girls and women almost havet o apologize for eating. And everytime you go for more you have ot be like, oh im so hungry, 'gosh i ate alot', 'wow now i need to burn this off'...Its like no. Stop apologizing for eating!!!
   We all have different metabolisms and goals, some people need to eat less and lose weight, others need to eat more and gain weight, and everyone needs different intakes.

So focus on yourslf and your goal, and dont let those types of comments affect you. They hurt, yes. But try to rise above them. And the best thing is to explain the situation, even if its just 'i need to gain weight' and not explain the whole history behind it. 

I feel like i have just rambled in this whole post, but hopefully you understand :) Or got some sort of advice, otherwise its just to tell me and ill try to come up with better advice!! :) (its 8am saturday morning, when im writing this... haha!)

2 comments:

  1. Thank you for this great response! I agree with everything you said, and it all makes sense to be honest with yourself and others about why you need bigger portions/eat what you want to eat :)

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  2. People seem to always expect women to leave some food on their plates (i.e. not to finish the whole meal) which I find weird. Why would anyone want to waste food?! I always 'clean my plate' when the others deliberately/naturally do not finish their food...that makes me wanna finish their food for them! But that makes me appear to be the 'greedy' one...which is really weird.
    J

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