Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Sunday, June 9, 2013

Exercise/my workouts PART 1

Ive gotten some interest about my workouts/exercise. So i thought i would write a post about it, and if you find it triggering, then just dont read this post ;)

Exericse PART 1

Some of you wanted to know about how i started exercising again and when.
You could basically say that i had been on 0 activity/bed rest for 2 years. Though of course whenever i got the chance i would exercise. While i was sick i had an exercise addiction, so its safe to say that many werent willing to let me start exercising, as they didnt want it to get out of control. And when i first started exercising, i had no idea whether i would get addicted again or not.
When i said i wanted to start exercising again, i didnt have thoughts about compensation or wanting to burn calories. More that i wanted to move my body - i am a very restless person. I am not good at sitting still for long periods of time, and i love the feeling of moving my body - whether its going for a walk, swimming or dancing. Its just a nice feeling.
   When i started school again - and went to Mando once a week/once every 2 weeks i was allowed to go for walks with Daisy (my dog). I went for an hours walk 3-4 times a week and otherwise just had my daily activity.
  After a few months (the start of 2012) i said i wanted to start running again and my mum agreed as long as my case manager said it was ok. My mum is a yoga teacher and has always been active - going for walks, yoga etc. And she is also a vegetarian (so is my sister) and eats very healthy, so for me it was very natural to eat healthy and to exercise - thats how ive grown up.

   I was 2-3kg away from my goal weight, and my case manager said it was ok for me to start running 2-3 times a week for 30 minutes & then i had to drink an extra supplement drink.
Finally after 3 months i decided i wanted a gym card and got up the courage to ask my case manager and she agreed. I had to start slow, going 1-3 times a week and eating extra.
When i first started at the gym i mainly did cardio - running on the treadmill or swimming. My stamina and conditioning wasnt so great. I had lost alot of muscle while i was sick, and had lost my stamina.
   Over time i began to do more strength training.

It was only sometime in September (2012) where i started lifting more weights, but still did alot of cardio. And then at the start of this year (2013) I started lifting more heavy weights and focusing on strength training, and running longer distances.

Ive made mistakes with exercising. Ive exercised too much, and eaten too little. Ive done too much cardio. And i became very unmotivated and depressed and other signs of over training. But i learnt from my mistakes and that is the most important.
   You need to learn to listen to your body. When you are tired, then dont exercise. Let your body rest. The most important thing ive learnt is that rest days are important. and that you need to listen to your body and give it energy.

Energy before and after workouts are important.

Before exercise eat: Protein, carbs and fat. (Carbs are important to give you energy)
After exercise eat: Carbs and protein. Both are important to keep from breaking down your muscles.

When you exercise you need to make sure you are eating enough. if you find it hard to eat enough then you need to eat more calorie dense food (nuts, healthy fats) or you need to exercise less.

I get questions wondering whether i eat carbs or not, and my answer is yes i do. Almost all my meals have carbs, protein and fats. I dont write out everything i eat.
  I get my carbs through homemade bread, crisp bread, fruit, vegetables, sweet potatoes, brown rice, muslie etc

Ive made the mistake of cutting carbs out of my diet - bad mistake. Carbs are not the enemy, neither is fat. Infact, food isnt the enemy. If you eat right and everything in moderation then you dont need to be scared of food.
  Carbohydrates are important - that is where our energy comes from. And if you are exercising then you need carbs even more!! Dont cut them out, you will feel tired.

Learn from your mistakes.

My best advice, when you want to start exercising is to really think about - is this a compensation thing? (it is for many). Dont exercise until you can do it in a controlled way. It can be so easy to just want to give it your all. But in the beginning its better to restrain yourself.
  Limit yourself to 30-45 minutes 2-3 times a week. Learn to enjoy exercise, not just to burn calories.
  Also dont push yourself to do something you hate.If you dont like running, then dont. If you arent a gym rat, then dont go to the gym.
 Maybe you enjoy dancing, or swimming, or yoga or tennis or whatever exercise form you enjoy.
 Or maybe you dont enjoy exercise.. thats fine. The fact is, you dont have to exercise. Not everyone likes it.
Find your form of exercise and enjoy doing it!!

And also Actions speak louder than words. I can not emphasize that enough. You can tell your parents that you want to start exercising, and tell them you do it because you enjoy it. But the fact is, if you are exercising like crazy 6 days a week, that says alot more than your not doing it to compensate.
   You need to show people around you that you can exercise in a balanced way. Show them that you can exercise and eat in a good manner, that you are not exercising to compensate.
  And if your parents/case manager say no. Then accept that. And give it time. You wont always be on 0 activity. Think, its just a few months or whatever, you still have the rest of your life.
   So give it time. Focus on recovering and doing fun things.

And one very important thing: Exercise because you enjoy it - not to punish your body for what you have eaten.
   If you ever feel want to exercise because you feel bad for what you have eaten - dont. You dont ever need to feel bad for eating anything.
  Dont use exercise as compensation or punishment.

Second part is coming in a while - how i exercise and some advice!! (If you have any more questions ask here :) )

1 comment:

  1. This was such a great post hun... thankyou!!!
    It is good to know that there are different levels of exercise and everyone is different, its so easy to slip into that anorexic "comparison" mindframe where you think you MUST do 'x' amount of something, in order to be fit and healthy. this is something i struggle with... thinking that you MUST exercise to be healthy. but you said that you dont have to exercise... is this true? im pretty active in my day to day life, and i love to walk and be outdoors. but then i always push myself to walk more, which i guess is the disordered part of me... i am struggling to eat more, which means im NOT fuelling myself properly to make up for my activity... so should i exercise less until i can feel better about eating more. I know i have a problem cos the idea of eating without doing ANY extra walking scares me...

    i guess that gives me a pretty clear answer huh? :(