Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Sunday, June 30, 2013


As already mentioned several times today i went to my first BodyCombat class.
I had an idea of what to expect, and well... i wasnt so sure i would survive the whole class, or even enjoy it.
Because i have the coordination of an elephant - i am quite a stiff person (even if i can do the splits, and am quite flexible... but thats not the same thing.)
And i can be quite slow with picking up choreography.
But i was expecting the worst - thinkin i would completely fail.

But it was actually fun!!
It was alot of punches and kicks. Fast movement and many steps, but i managed to keep up. And when i messed up, i just laughed and ended up doing my own thing several times!
The class was 60 minutes, but it went quick!!
The last 15 minutes were painful for my arms!!

But i am definitely going to keep going to the class, as its going to help tone/build muscle on my arms and its great core work (for me who hates doing core exercises!) & its fun, and high intensity!!
And it will also help me with choreography and to loosen up... 
Even though i run and go for powerwalks, its still the same movements, and with BodyCombat it will give me more of a flow!!
And of course, it gives me something else - to mix up my routine! And trying new things is always fun :)

So all positive things!
And a reminder to you all, dont be scared to try new things!! Or try new classes/hobbies. I mean you never know until you try, and you just might find that you like it!!!
Dont be scared of being the newbie, because everybody has to to be a newbie once!!

photography museum

Good afternoon all my lovely readers :)
I hope you have all had/have a good day!

Today, after BodyCombat (im going to write more about that in another post) i headed into town where i met my aunt and we walked to the photography museum.
There were 3 different exhibitions, and they all had a different theme.
One of the exhibitions wasn't that great - me and my aunt just laughed while we skimmed the pictures, and on of the exhibitions was quite disturbing.
After more than an hour, and with tired legs we made our way to the overly priced cafe, where we ate a late lunch.
I had a salmon sandwich, and my aunt had a ham and cheese sandwich.
My sandwich was so delicious!! I really love salmon ;)
It was worth the money anyway :)

After that we decided to walk home, as it wasnt that far away (c.a 30-40 minutes) and me and my aunt live in the same area (c.a 5 minutes from each other).

I'm now home again, and feeling the tiredness (its extremely tiring to stand and look at pictures, and alot of walking today as well!)
I'm lying on my bed, and not planning on moving for the rest of the day!!

Fat is not a feeling

Bodycombat & photography museum

Good morning :)
My plans for today are to go to a BodyCombat class at the gym. Its the first time they've had/are going to have BodyCombat at my gym, so i thought i would give it a try. As i love BodyPump from Les Mills.
  Though when i Googled BodyCombat, and saw a video and realised it's sort of martial art-sy....

My coordination is really bad...  thats why i dont really dance. Because i cant seem to do two things at once with my body. Im more of a straight forward running/walking person, and of course a lifter. I spend time at the weights, so i dont have so much flow in my body :)
    So im kind of nervous, but ive decided that im going to try it, and if i dont like i dont need to go again. And im thinking, as its the first class at my gym, then everyone will be newbies, and i wont look silly when i do like half of the choreography wrong!!

After that i'm going to meet my aunt in town and we're going to the photography museum and then get some lunch :)

So hopefully a good day :)

Saturday, June 29, 2013

Sometimes all you need is to smile, and someone to talk to

After spending most of my day, alone and at home - cleaning the house (yes 2 hours worth of cleaning) and going out with Daisy for mulitple walks, my aunt called and asked if she could come for coffee.
As my mum has asked my aunt to keep an eye on me while she's gone:) (hehe)

I didnt have anything baked, so i had to resort to store bought pasteries, but its better than nothing!
We sat and talked about lots of different things, and it was nice to get a break from my lonliness. And to be social!!

Also, she complimented me and asked for some stomach exercises to do - as she can see my abs ;)
Recently ive been getting loads of compliments from people for my body, saying that i look really good, muscular and fit (Why, thank you!!)
And even had some people ask for exercise tips!!
Its always nice to be complimented.

But the fact is, i actually dont do so much core work... i dont like it!! But i workout my whole body, and lift heavy weights - and well, that pays off!
And of course, a hell of a lot of food ;)

Afternoon snack

1/2 honey melon, 1/2 galia melon, 4 dates, vanilla yogurt, mix of seeds and nuts.& 1 egg!!
   And before this I had a handful of.nuts and an apple :)

I'm feeling really hungry today!!, my stomach is a bottomless pit__


Went for a long walk with my dog this morning in the sunshine!!

Recently Daisy (my dog) has been really sad - she is a people dog ;) She loves being around other people and other dogs, and she hates being alone.
She even has separation anxiety. When she was little we had to take her everywhere, because otherwise she would start howling.
But over the years she has gotten better - as she knows that we always come back.
But now when my mum and her partner are gone, Daisy has almost become depressed (i looked up the symptoms, and she has all of them. :/)
Daisy is following me everywhere, and she has to lie by my feet, and if i move then she moves as well. And shes started lying in my wardrobe - on my bags :/
And i always feel so bad when im leaving her - even if its just to go to the gym for an hour or so...

But im going for loads of walks with her - and i can see how happy she becomes!!

^^Not so sure why i wrote this... i just felt like i should write something. 

Friday, June 28, 2013

Dinner with friends

Tonight I had a lovely evening with friends. I was invited by E to come to dinner with some other friends.
   When we first got to the station we ended up wandering the wrong direction, so it took us a while to finally find E's house.
   When we got there we chatted for a while before we had dinner. She had made tacos for the others, but as she knows I don't eat meat she had made salmon for me!! That was really sweet of her. Because I had.been planning on eating meat if that was what was offered.
   After that we ate strawberries and salt sticks and I ate a little too many salted cashew nuts - they're just so good!! I have no moderation!!!
   There was lots of talking and laughing and just a lovely evening with friends. And I'm so glad I've found friends who I can spend time with!!! And do stuff :-)


Because its Friday... nah, just because im craving chocolate :)
I dont have any set days where i eat chocolate - just whenever i get cravings :)
Haha, most probably gonna eat chocolate tonight with friends aswell :)
But the more the better - i just thought i'd treat myself while getting ready!!
(btw its 'trail mix' as its called here in Sweden - so chocolate covered nuts :) mmmm)

Normal eating

Ive posted this before, but im gonna post it again:)

And here are  a few of my previous posts, which ive written about normal/healthy eating :)

healthy eating means balance
Normal, healthy eating

Today i'm happy!

Last night was not a good night. I went to bed with lots of anxiety.
 At 9pm, i felt like my head would explode from the anxiety so i went to bed at 9, but spent 3 hours reading my book, trying to keep me from crying... (yet again, not really knowing why i feel like crying). 
I barely slept at all last night, waking up 5 times during the night.

But still, i woke up wide awake at 7am this morning (no alarm), ready for the day!!
As i was up so early, i decided to go to a gym class.
So took daisy for a short walk, ate breakfast (the same as yesterday!), got ready and headed to the gym!
And now im feeling great!! The past few days, my mood has been up and down, and ive even had some body anxiety - hating the way i look.
But today... well today, i feel happy. The sun is shining, and im feeling awesome in my body :)
I just feel like smiling!!

When i got home, i went out with Daisy again and you can see how happy she is aswell :)

It might just be the endorphines after my workout, or maybe its the sun, or maybe its because im gonna spend the evening with friends tonight!
But im just happy!

Thursday, June 27, 2013


I am not a pizza person. Never have been, and dont think i ever will be. I can eat pizza, i dont have a problem with it. But i dont think its that nice. I will however eat the crusts - yes im weird.

But tonight, i saw this recipe for pizza, and well the thought of chicken pizza had me drooling!! So i made some :)
  Easy and simple to make & so yummy!!! (I didnt have any cheese, so only used tomatoe sauce & toppings. Though i am not a big fan of cheese, and especially not melted - that is one reason why i dont like pizza.. usch, melted cheese.)

Tomatoe sauce, onion, red pepper, chicken and egg whites (And yes, i do eat the egg yolk, but i have already eaten 3 whole eggs today, so just wanted the egg whites - no lectures!!)

Run away

I have this urge to just run away...  to just unconnect myself from the world. 
  To deactivate my facebook, delete my blog, get rid of my instagram and email. To throw my mobile away and just run away.... 
   I am so tired of some people.... i hate the pressure of society. I feel tired of everything.

I just want to escape... escape from living. :/