I love reading your blog! Just wondering though- what made you want to start this blog, and how did you start?
Thank you :)
I started the blog back in 2009, where i believed that i had bulimia. So i started very anonymous, just writing for myself.
Most of those posts have been deleted. I started blogging more (still only for myself) when i first started getting help. I had so much anxiety and felt i just needed to get it out, and of course i didnt believe i had anorexia at all, even though i barely ate at that time.
But of course, reading over soem of those posts makes me realise that i was very sick at that time.
Blogging is quite uncommon in Ireland. So its weird that i started blogging..?But i know in Sweden its very popular...
I never ever expected my blog to become so popular? Or that so many people would read my blog. That was never the intention.
My blog was just my way of writing out how i was feeling. So i used it as my coping method, my way to release just a little bit of my anxiety and panic.
But then when i started at Mando, and started writing about Mando. I saw how my page views started increasing as Mando&Anorexia Blog became searched on Google and my blog came up.
And then the pageviews and readers just grew, and in turn i became healthy and now i use this blog as a way to write out my day, or how im feeling and of course to help others who are in the same situation that i was!
I love blogging, but sometimes i do wonder why i still blog? In the sense that now i am just a
typical blogger who writes about her day... and i dont want to be that? I dont want to just write about my day.... but i guess thats all i really do now a days?
But for now i have no plans in not blogging!! :)
Hey :) i have a question - I was wondering how you dealt/deal with seeing other
anorexic people or people who are skinnier than you, because I find it really
upsetting and end up feeling inferior/ugly etc etc
Hmmm... While sick. I found it very triggering, as of course i always thought i was so fat. And hated seeing other people thinner then me... i got so jealous. And it didnt get better at Mando, where i mean i was stuck with all these stick thin girls and i sat there comparing myself.
Even when i was admitted, time after time with an even lower weight i still thought i was so fat.
But what i now realise is that everyone does that. They always think they are bigger/fat than anyone else. Even when they were the skinniest girl there, they though they were the biggest
. Which is very fucked up. But you realise, just how sick you are when you think that with an underweight BMI you are fat
? very wrong.
How i deal with it? Well
, ive accepted my body. I dont think there is some magical thing you can do which just makes it better. But accepting the way you look, even liking your body and appearance makes
you not jealous of the way other people look.
For me now, there are c.a 5 people in my group that
are very skinny. At first i must admit
a flare of jealousy arose in me. And i wondered, why were they so skinny and not in an ED clinic? (haha... oh the bitch in me!! XD)
Of course, now i know that one of those girls has started going to the school nurse, and she
is very angry ahout that. But the other 4 girls ive realised are naturally skinny and have a healthy apetite
!! haha XD
And the thing is, i am happy with the way i look. When i look at myself, i see someone who is fit and toned and i have muscles, while the other girls are just bones....? I like the fact that i can run far, and lift heavy (sort of?!) i much prefer being toned & fit then just skinny
?
Ok, i went off topic there.
How to deal with seeing girls skinnier then you? I wish i could give some solid answer, but the only thing i can really think of now, is to start accepting yourself. Because that is needed anyway. You need to realise that you are beautiful no matter what weight or shape or size you are.
There
are always going to be people who are skinner than you. But dont think of yourself as fat just because of it...
Because trust me, there will be people looking at you wishing they looked like you.
But everyone is different. Everyone has a different body shape or size. Some people are taller, some people are shorter... thats life.
Work on your self esteem, and tell yourself that you are beautiful, or name 5 positive things about yourself everyday. And dont let bad thoughts bring you down. And dont compare yourself to anybody else.
Those are the best tips i can give. You have to be happy with yourself!!!
:)
You are beautiful!