Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Wednesday, October 10, 2012

To feel happy in your own body

When i was sick, all i saw in the mirror was this horrible, fat person. This person who everyone hated, who was ugly, who wasnt worth food. Who had to lose weight... everything about me was wrong. And i absaloutly hated my body and the way i looked. I felt uncomfortable in my own skin, and most of the time just felt like i wanted to cut my skin off... i.e i didnt want to be in my own body.

But now, i am comfortable in my own skin. In my own body.
  I'm not going to lie and say i love my body all the time... that i am 100% happy with the way i look. Because thats not true. I amnt 100% with the way i look,  but who is? Im sure most people have something they dont like abotu themselves...? Some people jsut have loads of things, others have less.... or maybe you are one of the lucky ones who love absaloutly everything about yourself, and that is great!! Keep it that way :)

Im not always super happy with the way i look, somedays i would like to change a thing or two, tone up here and there or something or other... but that doesnt hinder me from living.
   I can still see myself as beautiful. I dont have to bring myself down anymore...
  One day i might hate the way my stomach sticks out... then i dont wear a tight top. I wear something that makes me look good. Or i do something nice with my hair or make up... something to make me feel good.
   When you feel awful, hate the way you look... one of the bes tthings to do, is do something nice to yourself... i.e take a bath with nice smelling oils, or paint your nails, or do something nice with your hair... or even put on those heels or jeans that you love... and just feel good about yourself and the way you look. Forget about that small thing that you were hating about.... Just forget that, and feel good anyway.

Just because i dont always feel 100% confident in the way i look... that doesnt stop me from living, or being happy.
   I still live life. I still get up in the morning, and do my everyday life... i might not feel great one day and just want to hide... not show myself... but then it is even more important that i go out.. whether its just to go buy a cola, meet a friend or go for a walk with my go out and not just sit inside feeling ashamed over my body.
I still allow myself to eat... even on the days where i feel fat as fuck... i can still treat myself to chocolate... or if someone offers something... i tell myself that it is ok.
  It can be hard... i know. Especially when you feel fat... then it feels like you just want to lose a few kilo, never eat again..  i know that feeling. But then it is important to actually eat. To not restrict...  because you can end up in a black circle.

To feel happy inyour body is important... maybe you dont love it all the time. Or always feel so confident... but to allow yourself to eat. To know that you are fine the way you are. To not feel ashamed abotu your body...
  Because there is nothing wrong with you... it is mainly in your head.

I mean, has it ever happened to you, where you see this huge red spot on your chin... and you swear that it is the size of half your face... and it is so visible adn you are embarrassed... and then you complain to your friend... telling tehm about your huge spot which you are trying to cover up... and your friend asks, what spot? And you point it out... and they still dont see anything....
  Its all in your head.

Just like when you are trying on new jeans or a dress, and you think you look fat... only to have people tell you that you look great, that you look amazing in that item...?
   Sometimes you see things which others dont.... or more. People dont look as cloesly, they arent as critical as you are about yourself...
  Sometimes its better to listen to other instead of yourself....

Of course, not all the time.... you know that moment when you find a pair of shoes that you love, and your friend tells you you'll never use them... Buy them!! You WILL find a use for them someday:) Or that dress which your mum tells you doesnt suit you... If you like it... then go with your gut instinct...
Take time to tell yourself that you look good. To point out the positive things, not the negatives.
  Remember to smile, and see the good things. TO make yourself feel good, whether its reading a book and drinking tea, or going for a run, or dancing around to music....
  just remember to feel happy and feel good in yourself :)


  1. You have an amazing body!

  2. don't worry, you're gorgeous :3 (haha, i know that doesn't help somedays for sure...) good luck on staying happy!

  3. You are gorgeous!!! This post is very inspiring