Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Wednesday, August 22, 2012

What to do at school?

School is beginning again, and its a time which can bring alot of anxiety, fear and panic to people who are sick.
  Maybe you are returning to your old school after taking a year out to go treatment, or maybe you're starting a new school after spending the summer in hospital or whatever. Both are just as scary.
  Having to return to your school, where you havent had the best of times and eveyrone knows that you are sick with anorexia (or whatever ED you have.), that isnt fun. But its not fun to start a new school where maybe everyone already knows each other, and you dont have any friends. And yo uare filled with anxiety and panic because you are with new people, and school lunch, and tests and study....

School isnt the easiest of things. Not even for normal ,heatlhy people. But when you're sick, there is even more fear and anxiety.
  New challenges. Eating lunch, socializing, actually concentrating and try to study, trying to act normal, eating snacks on your own....
   All these extra things.

If you have been away in treatment, it can be hard to suddenly spend time with normal people your own age who can eat with no problem, and they eat as much or as little as they want... and you have to eat a certain amount.
  Maybe you have to sit with a teacher for lunch, not allowed to sit with friends.
Maybe you're not even allowed to go full timein school...?
For me, id personally like to just skip school. Even now when im healthy!!! I just find the whole school thing annoying, and hard! I have no problem studying, i get good grades. Ive never been bullied. Ive had it easy to make friends... so nothing like that that is hard or a problem... its just school.
   Id prefer to jsut be at home, doing my own thing!! Haha

When you start school again after being sick or been in treatment, focus on  doing thigns right. Yeah, now you're free in school, there might not be staff or your parents watching you, you might not actually have to eat snacks or lunch, but think about the consequences.... i know for a fact. Its easy to cheat in school, to decide to eat less and exercise more because nobody is watching, no body is there to tell you to sit down and eat.
   And i can tell you... you'll be back in treatment before you can count to 10.
  It wont take long until the scale starts showing less, and your thoughts are taking more control.
  It might seem awful to eat in school, but everone else is... trust me. You're friends will be jealous when you start eating your morning or afternoon snack... when they have to wait until they get home.
  When i started school last time, if i finished school at at 4, i always brought a snack with me. I even drank my supplement drinks in school!!! And my friends were jealous when i started munching on  a cereal bar, or took out some fruit. Or drank a smoothie... somedays it was easier to just og and buy some chocolate, or a yoghurt drink.
   I felt i always had energy, and i did get hungry an hour or two after lunch and i was always so happy when i knew that i had a snack with me.
Soon, you wont be the only one eating an afternoon or morning snack, the others will follow in your footsteps. Because when you're in school and studyung, you yuse alot of energy... so you need to top up with energy!
Eating lunch can be a scary thing at school, while i was sick.. that was the thing i always dreaded. And i prefferred to avoid it. And also, it was my chance to skip a few calories... but ttrust me, it doesnt benefit you in the end. If you dont eat lunch, you wont have any concentration for the rest of the day.
   Eating lunch on your own, can be hard. Its best to eat with friends, or sit with others so that you realise that they eat aswell.... they eat a right amount. If you find that someone might be triggering.. because say, they only eat a little, or always complain about the food. Distance yourself from them during lunch, if they're a close friend, you can always mention that it is annoying... if they comment about food all the time.

I cant really say that i have tips on what to do, to prepare yourself or get rid fo anxiety for lunch in school?
   You jsut have to take that step.. .the first week might be awkward or weird to sit and eat lunch with other people, or to eat lunch with a school teacher... but it gets better. Dont think of the food as a punishment, dont feel awkward eating... all that just makes it worse.
  Enjoy your food, dont make thigns even worse or awkward.. you dont want to be the 'sick girl' who doesnt eat or cant eat?!
  Isnt that worse then just eating?

Remember, not everyone loves school, even for normal people there is anxiety and a hate involved. The early mornings, the studying... all that. But when you're sick, food and socializing are extra fears. But school is compulsory... even if its easier to just sit at home, in your room doing your own thing. Trust me, thats what most people want. They enjoy meeting their friends, and thats about it!!
You have to face your fears, because your fears wont go away if you dont stand up to them... they will always be there. So you have to do things whcih you find scary and hard.
   Its the only way for thigns to get better.

You cant avoid school, its something you have to do.


  1. Hey girl this is the first time finding your great blog. I was really touched when I read your story. You are so strong and beyond gorg I hope you know that! I am VERY excited to follow you and be your newest follower. I see that you wrote you like chocolate and I may have some recipes you may like on my healthy eating blog. If you get a chance or a craving feel free to check it out :).

  2. Hi, Izzy! I love this blog post. Even though I am homescooled, I think this applies to everyone. Going back into social situations where you aren't accountable to anyone can be hard. But you are so comforting and sweet.And you offer good advice ;D

  3. this post is so great. Eating in school triggers me a lot after years.. but after this post it will be much easier!

  4. I'm going back to school tomorrow after being in treatment the last half of the semester and all summer. This post pretty much sums up how I am feeling! You give really good advice xx