Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com

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Thursday, August 16, 2012

Declared healthy 16/8/2012

I then i no longer have the diagnose Anorexia Nervosia.
 
I'm healthy!
^^^This photo is exactly right!!^^

I got to Mando at 12, where i ate lunch there. Eating on the Mando meter, and doing Wii-Base. (READ HERE if you dont know what it is.)
The results were really good, as they have been for hte last year.
I ate in a normal time and a normal portion, just like it should be!!!

And then i got to see the results of all the papers i filled in.
All were really good

In the photo below is how my mental health has been during my whole time at Mando.
Anything above sick is depression, or a bad sign basically.
You can see that in February, i was at my worst, and that was when i had just overdosed.
And then slowly it started to go down!!

 Below is the result of general questions, and problems that arise with eating disorders. I.e, whether im self conscious, fear of weight gain, body dysmorphia, perfectionism, etc etc... cant remember what it all was.
  The red bit is what someone who is sick with an ED lies on. And the Green bit or below is the healthy range.
 
The below picture is how i am now.... and basically, im more healthy then someone who is healthy and normal. And that is often how it is, as after youäve had an ED. you think less about your body, and all that then what a normal person does... its strange.
 **The black line, is where i am!!
 ¨
The picture below is how i answered when i first started treatment.
  From my answers, you could see that i was severaly sick. I had a huge fear of gaining wieght, i didnt trust people, i ate very restrictive and i was slightly orthorexic, eating only healthy (when idid eat.)... and other things which i cant remember.
 

The two different results!!! You can see the difference!!!

So that was all good!!
Then i sat and waited nervously until it was 2pm, and i was going ot have the meeting with the doctor and other staff....
  
While waiting i had alot of staff from inpatients come up to me and hug me, and congratulate me. Tell me that they were so happy for me, and glad to not have to see me back in inpatients again...5 times there too many!! hah
  And then it was 2pm, and i sat in a room with my mum, my case manager, the doctor and S... i was glad that there wasnt anyone else!!!
   I got asked a few questions, basically the same as what i had been asked on Tuesday.
  And then thay all agreed, that i sounded healthy etc etc...
  Alot of hugs, and congratulations and a flower bouquet. And then i walked down the halls of Mando, having patients look at me, and getting hugged by staff.
 I felt all round happy. I remember walking down those halls everyday. hating it. Hating my life. Hating myself. I never thought id be healthy. I was the one who cheated with her food, exercised to burn calories, self harmed to keep myself alive... i was a walking dead person.
  I remember seeing other patients now and again when they got declared healthy, jealous of them... ididnt understand how they could become healthy. How they could overcome the illness, to be able to eat and live again...
  And here i am. 2 years later. walking down the halls, with a smile on my face and a flower bouquet in my arms. Showing everyone that you can recover, and no... you're not fat just because you gain weight.
  I mean, ive gained 18kg... Yeah... im not embarrassed to admit it.
 Why should i be...?

4,5 years of being sick. 2,5 years having the diagnos anorexia Nervosia.
  No more...

And i intend to keep it this way. I will never let the illness take over again.
   I
I am free and living my life!!




19 comments:

  1. this is a wonderful message! I feel so happy for you, congratulations!! I think everybody here will be proud of you and of course you can also be very proud of yourself!
    I have never been in contact with anorexia, but I read your blog for a few months now and I can say that the way of your posts have changed! You are happier than before and this is fantastic!
    I wish you luck in your future and the rest of your life with school and that stuff...
    greetings from annie juune :)

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  2. I am so truly stunned, proud and happy, having a BIG smile on my face that got wider and wider while reading.
    You made such a huge step in your life and FINALLY everybody does know - that you have fully recovered, foind a way into a totally healthy life and
    You are a awesome person
    A beautiful young woman
    A super friend
    Wow!
    When you'll start at you new school, living in your new room, having your family, getting to know new friends -
    This is no restart - cuz you should remember the bad days - but it's a new beginning, a new step into a bright future <3
    i'm with you izzy!

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    Replies
    1. :) Your comment made me smile!!
      Its definitely a new start, everything is new now. But its a nice change... im leaving the past behind and moving on.
      Of course, i cant forget what ive been through...

      Thank you so much. And you're right, ive known that im healthy, but now everybody else knows!!!! :)

      **I will email back as soon as i can :)

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  3. Grattis! Vad skönt det måste vara för dig att äntligen få bli friskförklarad! :D
    Kram

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  4. GRATTIIIIIS!!!! :D Så sjukt bra gjort! Det är du verkligen värd! Du har kämpat på så bra och jag blir så glad för din skull! Grattis igen!

    Ska själv på likadant möte om 1,5 vecka... Är lite nervös :P

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    Replies
    1. Tack tack!! Det kommer gå bra!!! :)
      Tänk vad skönt att bli frisk skriven!!! En ny kapitel!! :) haha

      Let me know how it goes? :)

      Delete
  5. OMG I'm so so happy for you! This is like the most inspirational post I've ever read :D xxxxxxxxx

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  6. I am so happy for you! I have been following you for over a year and half now and I am so happy you did it! I honestly thought that I would recover before you but sadly I am still struggling. Do you have any advice?

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    Replies
    1. Recovery is hard...it takes time. :/
      Hmm... advice? Basically to go against your ED.even though your ed might be a comfort, a protection, you cant be heatlhy if you still listen to the voice in your head and do what it says.... to keep doing small tricks. Cus in the end you're only tricking yourself, prolonging your own misery.
      It can take 5 months for you to recover or it can take 5 years... its all up to you and how much effort you put in, and whether you're willing ot actually go the whjole way.
      Because you can stay in a half healthy, healf sick place forever... but the scale will tip and you'll go crashing down, or find hte strength to fight and get healthy.

      I might try to get around to making some tips& advive post though... :)

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  7. I am so so SO happy for you!! I remember reading your blog for such a long time, from your really low points all the way to now when you're finally better. Your journey is so inspiring. I loved your 2 year history post, it was so amazing to read through your whole experience. Being in such a bad place myself right now and relating completely to the things you wrote about feeling and doing when you were at your sickest, it gives me hope once again that maybe one day I can beat this :) Again I am SO happy for you! Thank you for sharing your story and being such an inspiration to us all. You are one beautiful girl with an amazing life ahead of you!!

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    Replies
    1. I remember when you first started commenting, yit used to brighten my day when i read your comments, and how you used to pepp me. Telling me that things would get better... now its the other way?
      But you know my story, you know what ive been through... so it shows. You can be at the absaloute bottom.... and fight your way up again. To really give it all and become healthy!!

      You will be healthy one day, never doubt that. Keep strong, youll have your ups and downs, and some things might be harder, others might be easier... but in the end, all your struggles will be worth it!! :) To live freely... without a voice in your head contrlling you, telling you what to do, what to eat... how to live.
      And to not have to be in the treatment centre...to be with friends and family and have fun!!

      You will be free and healthy :)

      Delete
  8. Hur ofta skall du dit nu när du är frisk? :)

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    Replies
    1. Jag ska gå uppföljning programmet nu. Första året ska jag gå ditt 6 ggr. Andra och tredje året går jag dit 2 ggr och fjärde och femte året går jag bara en gång om året...:) så det är bra!!!

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  9. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  10. ÅH, GRATTIS!! Du är fruktansvärt bra ska du veta. Kram på dig!

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