Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Wednesday, July 18, 2012

In the comfort of my own bed!!!

Last night, when i was lying in my bed i suddenly got this overwming feeling of, Oh my God, im sleeping in my own bed!! haha... which ive been doing for the past year.
   But i suddenly got all these flashbakcs of all my awful nights at Mando. Arguing with the staff. Crying. I hated the nights at Mando. They were the worst all i wanted was to sleep at home, even though i hated being at home. Being at home was almost as bad as being at Mando. But the nights at Mando were the worst ever.

Sometimes it felt like the only reason i kept going, kept fighting was so that i would be allowed to sleep at home... wake up in my own bed.
  I've actually been scarred from Mando. From inpatients, i find it really hard to sleep anywhere apart from at home. I dont like being on holidays because im sleeping somewhere else, even sleeping at someone elses house can be hard... i mean WTF? ive been scarred.... :/

It was such a nice feeling though to realise that im at home. Im eating, relaxing, living like a normal person. While i was sick, i never thought that would be possible. I never thought id eat becausei was hungry or because i wanted to.
  I never thought it would be possible that i would relax... i always had to move, to exercise, to burn calories.
  I couldnt just sit and watch a film. I thought i would be forever sick. Forever in a hospital, in a hospital room, sleeping in a hospital bed.

And you know what... i havent been in a hospital room or bed in a year... No inpatients!!! Its amazing how quick the time goes.
  Spending a year and a half at Mando. A year in inpatients... its crazy!! But its only now, it feels like its hit me.
That im free, im healthy!! I make my own choices over my life (almost!! hah). I dont have to go to a clinic to eat. I dont hate the way i look (somedays i do... but whatever!!!)
I never ever thought id be healthy, living a life. But you know what... Thats exactly what im doing!!!
^^Âugusut 2011^^

1 comment: