Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com

Translate

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Exercise?

My mum was like... When did you last go running? (cus i was sitting cuddling with my dog and i was like, oh i havent gone out running with you for a while... )
  i was like ehmm... a few days ago? and she was like, you know exercise is good for you, maybe you havent been getting enough? it makes your mood better...

Ohhh ok.. as if i dont feel shit about my body... i would have liked to go running today, but i still dont feel 100% and its not good to exercise when you have a cold...
   But now im just like... do i not do enough exercise? I knwo that i have a normal to high activity range... ?

Hmm.. she didnt mean it as a bad thing.. its just that i havent gone out running.. ive just gone to the gym...? 
  ughhh.. i feelt fat and horrible, all i see is fat.fat.fat everywhere.... its like.. where did my abs go? where did my muscles go? i cant have lost them... but they ARE hiding? Like, i've eaten quite alot... alot of unhealthy crap (i.e junk food, bread, butter, cheese ).. and i feel bad about it.
  I'm gonna go healthy now... a protein, veg & fruit diet (or you know.. healthy..LOL) i just feel i want to feel good about myself.. but at the same time, it can turn into ortherexia if i focus too much on healthy..
   it feels like eveyrthing is an ED.

if your too healthy, you have ortherexia, if you do too much exercise you have athletica anorexia, if you eeat too much your a binge eater, if you eat to little you have anorexia... its like... what? what is normal?
  i dont think its right to eat junk food, just because its normal?
No... you should eat what you enjoy and what you think is nice, you should eat until your full... and then eat again when your hungry.
   You shouldnt be sick, if you decide to not eat junk food... or if you decide to go vegetarian/vegan.. but somehow.. it seems like once you cut out chcoolate frmo your diet, then everyone is curious why?
   i dont know..

I jstu get annoyed at society, at media, at the world.... ?
  Does anybody else feel like this... 
 it feels like i dont know what normal is?

Normal is when my body is fine, when i eat enough to have a healthy weigt and feel full.. and to exercise enough, but not too much...?
   

6 comments:

  1. I´ve received tons of comments from my family and friends that i cant understand are these told by irony, sarcasm or as a compliment..arghhh. I always end up thinking about those words the rest of the day..
    I think that junk food in small amounts is good for people.. When you eat an ice-cream in the sunny day or have a slice of cake in the cafe it´s normal.. We all need a bit of sweets every day- thats what i think.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yeah this is exactly right. you shouldn't completly cut junk food from your life. you should be able to enjoy ice cream when its good weather. but its not good if you have something sweet everyday..
      its a balance.
      thank you for your comment.. how are things?:)

      Delete
    2. I personally need something sweet every day even if its only a spoonful of jam or whatever.. Otherwise i feel very anxious and cant consentrate. It should be all about how are you feeling and what your body is telling you, sometimes it takes time and enery to listen, but it´s possible:)

      Delete
  2. Sv: Ja det var jätte skönt! Har ju varit så varmt ute nu de senaste dagarna. Hoppas allt är bra med dig! Kramar

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hej fina vackra du<3 HUr mår du?

    KRAM<3

    ReplyDelete
  4. Your hair looks pretty in that picture :)

    I can relate to that exercise thing! Sometimes my mom is like "you do too much exercise, don't go overboard, you know you were sick just a pair of months ago!" and sometimes she encourages me which i like but... it also makes me feel like i don't do enough. I actually have some kind of paranoia about working out because when i was in hospital every move was considered "trying to lose weight" and nurses told that to my doctor, so i always go too soft on me as i am afraid an angry nurse will come out of the closet or something :D

    ReplyDelete