Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Thursday, December 1, 2011

Why does it have to be so hard?

Usch. my body is huge. and bloated. and right now a hundred different thoughts are swirling round in MUMy head. I can't deal with my body. i can't deal with my thoughts. when will the voice in my head just give in? for my part. Im going to bed. i can't deal with myself right now.


  1. I work with inpatient and day treatment eating disorder patients. I think that you're trying really hard and doing you very best in recovery, but I'm worried about you. I'm hoping you're still seeing someone, even if an on outpatient basis.

  2. Oh :( I hope you feel better soon!

  3. Thank you.
    And yeah, im still seeing my case manager once a week.
    Just wondring why you're worried?
    For the most part i feel fine, and its just the fact that my weight isnt going up, but im not underweight so i dont need to be there all the time. :)

  4. hi i posy messages all the time and are finally leavig for help in 2 days at a special resort in queensland australia they hep with anxiety and said they have to fix your mind and then as that get fixed slowly the food so i cant wait time to star my journey to a healthy mind body and soul. thought i just let you know
    also they do yoga and masssage there ane are all organic which since i love being fit i can do exercise to not alot though everything in ahealthy way

  5. with mando did they feed u alot right away that would be real hard

  6. It sounds reallly good that you're getting the help you need.
    i hope it goes well for you, lots of luck.
    Yoga is good, and the massages will be good, i think!
    Its good that you get help with the mind, because thats where the problem is :)

    lots of luck with recovery!

  7. Well, to me it was alot of food. But looking back over my first few meal plans.. it really wasnt. alot less then a normal person would eat, but more then i had been eating.
    For some people they dont have to raise the meal plan too much, but you start off with a little, and then depending on if you gain wieght or not, they raise it. :)

    But of course, going from not eating, to then having 6 meals (whether they were big or small) it was hard, its a diffucult change.