Today i had my 4 minutes to talk infront of a whole bunch of people, including staff at Mando, some serious (or high up) people, other patients and the health minister.
There were 6 patients speaking... 4 of them were recovered i think.
I was the first to speak, and i was dead nervous so i spoke really fast and forgot half of what i was gonna say - Oh well.
But my case maanger was really supportive and the others told me that i did a god job, but i felt pretty shit, i kinda fucked up... haha... bt it was nothing serious anyway!!
And then some staff spoke, and one of them was my old case manager, Anna. (in HDV) and she said that her niece had had anorexia, but she hadnt got the helped she needed, so she had commited suicide,
Anna was in tears while she spoke. I felt so sad listening to her, i realised how close i had been to death and all the times i tried.
My mum, and family had always told me how ego-istic it was to commit suicide, but i thought -My life. I can do what i want.
But seeing Anna cry i realised how much it would have affected everyone i knew, if i had commited suicide... and i felt really bad.
Almost in tears myself. :/
I then ate my morning snack and headed home.
Not sure when im back there.... but this week i'll be in school. :/
But i can say... im looking forward to gym tomorrow. I want to run.
For some reason today... ive felt shit. I hate looking in the mirror. i feel HUGE today. I hate it.... :/
Usch usch usch.

After a 5 year struggle with anorexia (with purging tendencies), depression, self harm and over exercising I have now been recovered for 4 years and i use my blog to help others in the same situation i once was. I am now a happy and positive person who wants to inspire those struggling to choose recovery and to take control over life and happiness again!
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Life without Anorexia
My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.
I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.
I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!
If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com

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