There were 6 patients speaking... 4 of them were recovered i think.
I was the first to speak, and i was dead nervous so i spoke really fast and forgot half of what i was gonna say - Oh well.
But my case maanger was really supportive and the others told me that i did a god job, but i felt pretty shit, i kinda fucked up... haha... bt it was nothing serious anyway!!
And then some staff spoke, and one of them was my old case manager, Anna. (in HDV) and she said that her niece had had anorexia, but she hadnt got the helped she needed, so she had commited suicide,
Anna was in tears while she spoke. I felt so sad listening to her, i realised how close i had been to death and all the times i tried.
My mum, and family had always told me how ego-istic it was to commit suicide, but i thought -My life. I can do what i want.
But seeing Anna cry i realised how much it would have affected everyone i knew, if i had commited suicide... and i felt really bad.
Almost in tears myself. :/
I then ate my morning snack and headed home.
Not sure when im back there.... but this week i'll be in school. :/
But i can say... im looking forward to gym tomorrow. I want to run.
For some reason today... ive felt shit. I hate looking in the mirror. i feel HUGE today. I hate it.... :/
Usch usch usch.
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