Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Saturday, August 27, 2011

Sore and barely awake.

For some reason, having a cold has brought on a whole bunch of angst. :/
  After propping myself with calming tablets i've pretty much slept away the day.

I felt so tired, my head was thumping, my throat burning, i couldnt decide whether to follow with my mum and sister to the beach.. i mean.. it would be ling in the sun.. that craves no energy.
   But it felt so cold to me, i much preferred to be inside under the covers.

So i decided i would skip the beach, take an easy day for myself.

Ive slept pretty much all day, getting up only twice, once for my snack which included warm tea, which helped soothe the throat and the second time for dinner, which was Quorn meatballs and mashed potatoes.
   And then after dinner i fell asleep again... :) hehe

Now im awake, and feeling slightly better, but still dopey. (pills)
   i still feel tired... and in pain. :( Usch.

Hope im feeling better by tomorrow. :/ :/ :/


  1. :/ I hate being sick. I feel so unproductive, like there's so much stuff I should be doing but can't when I'm sick. And I get some angst when I'm sick as well. And a lot of stress, because I don't want to miss school, I actually usually go even when i am sick. But I'm hoping I can avoid getting sick this year... :) Crossing my fingers! And I hope you feel better soon. Being sick sucks :(

    The eating is actually going kind of okay right now. It's because of marching band season, we are doing so much exercise and work when it's really hot out. So you get really hungry during band. During a usual school day, I've been eating no breakfast, and a 300 calorie lunch- pretzels and cream cheese and a power bar. Then after school before band practice I have a bagel with cream cheese or something like that, I walk into town with my friends for that snack. And after band practice, I have dinner and I usually eat a lot then because I'm so hungry after practice. I've also been really paranoid this year about the eating during band because of my experience last year with the almost passing out at a practice- I think I told you about it a long time ago? I don't know if you remember? But it was the second most scary experience of my life (scariest was this crazy night hike we took at orchestra camp this summer haha) and it was caused by my anorexia- i really don't want it to happen again. So I've been eating pretty well lately.

    My friends are the same with the eating and all, i'm getting really tired of it. We're talking all the time about like being skinny and exercising and not eating too much or we're going to get fat, all the time it's just talk like that. I don't need to be around people saying things like that especially when I'm starting to get better and all. They'll be joking around and be like, you're so skinny you're like anorexic or something to people. Things like that. It's really annoying.

    And besides just that, anorexia and ED's in general have come up way too much this year, it's really weird. Especially in my English Composition/Literature class. The second day we were doing presentations about ourselves and one girl said a profession she would not want to be is model because they're all anorexic and stuff and it's really annoying, and then everyone agreed that it's annoying, especially the teacher. Which kind of hurt me, if that makes sense? but it also showed, this is what people think of anorexics. But then at our next english class, we were talking about Freud (i don't know if you study him? he was a psychology theory type person) and we got into talking about ED's and the psychological parts of it, things like that. It made me really uncomfortable. And then yesterday (or maybe it was Thursday, I can't remember) my mom was saying how she feels bad for models, and would hate to be one. I asked why, and she said that they all have eating disorders and everything. All these situations just make me feel really uncomfortable. does that happen with you ever?

    But on a lighter note... Bubble tea is AMAZING :) You should try it sometime. It's so good :D One of my favorite food/drink type things. I love love love love love it :) Honeydew is the best flavor in my opinion. But most of the flavors are really good. And it's really fun to eat the pearls :D haha. you can tell i really like it... :)

    So tomorrow is my audition for a flute quartet, and I also have a flute lesson, other than that I'll be doing lots and lots of homework. Fun stuff... :) I hope you're feeling better!

  2. Oh, and by the way, i love your new shoes :D I love converse as well, I usually wear nothing but converse. But I decided to try something different this time :) I'll never stop loving converse though :) my last pair I actually wore until I had to duck tape them to keep from falling apart. Then I thought, it's time to get some new shoes. (: