Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com

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Saturday, August 13, 2011

my body

I dont think i'll ever be happy with my body.
Im getting used to it.
Accepting it.
but not
Loving or Liking it.
I dont think i ever will.

I'll just get used to it and accept it.
Accept the fact that im no underweight,
and aslong as i dont want to go back to an inpatiant,
i wont ever be underweight.
Im still trying to tell myself that
what is so pretty about being underweight?
I dont  know.
I mean... its much prettier to be toned
then underweight.
But still...
theres a part of me that just wants to give up food again
and become thin again.
Be small,
invisible.
Pretty.

I dont think i'll ever like having people tell me
Im healthy and i look normal.
It still bugs me,
even though i know its meant as a compliment
but its hard to accept it like that.
I know its a good thing
being normal and healthy
i smile more
im happy
im starting to live my life again

But what i wouldnt do to have someone look at me and think
Anorexic

But thats one of the worst things possible to think,
isnt it?

Im trying to stop thinking like this,
but i suppose it'll take a while until im
mentally healthy


Even though i have thoughts like this,
im never planning to stop eating,
im never being an inpatiant again.
ive been there,
done that
and gained the weight.



1 comment:

  1. Du är verkligen hur fin som helst! Ta åt dig! :)
    Sv: Precis. Skönt att höra att det finns någon som förstår än i alla fall. Ja, jag följer ett matschema. Jag måste äta 6 gånger per dag + 4 st näringsdrycker så det är en hel del..
    Vad skönt! Får du börja träna och sånt nu snart igen då? Eller? :)
    Följer du något matschema? I så fall, hur ser det ut?
    Ta hand om dig! kram

    ReplyDelete