Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Saturday, August 13, 2011

my body

I dont think i'll ever be happy with my body.
Im getting used to it.
Accepting it.
but not
Loving or Liking it.
I dont think i ever will.

I'll just get used to it and accept it.
Accept the fact that im no underweight,
and aslong as i dont want to go back to an inpatiant,
i wont ever be underweight.
Im still trying to tell myself that
what is so pretty about being underweight?
I dont  know.
I mean... its much prettier to be toned
then underweight.
But still...
theres a part of me that just wants to give up food again
and become thin again.
Be small,

I dont think i'll ever like having people tell me
Im healthy and i look normal.
It still bugs me,
even though i know its meant as a compliment
but its hard to accept it like that.
I know its a good thing
being normal and healthy
i smile more
im happy
im starting to live my life again

But what i wouldnt do to have someone look at me and think

But thats one of the worst things possible to think,
isnt it?

Im trying to stop thinking like this,
but i suppose it'll take a while until im
mentally healthy

Even though i have thoughts like this,
im never planning to stop eating,
im never being an inpatiant again.
ive been there,
done that
and gained the weight.

1 comment:

  1. Du är verkligen hur fin som helst! Ta åt dig! :)
    Sv: Precis. Skönt att höra att det finns någon som förstår än i alla fall. Ja, jag följer ett matschema. Jag måste äta 6 gånger per dag + 4 st näringsdrycker så det är en hel del..
    Vad skönt! Får du börja träna och sånt nu snart igen då? Eller? :)
    Följer du något matschema? I så fall, hur ser det ut?
    Ta hand om dig! kram