Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Monday, August 29, 2011

Managed to drag myself out of bed and get things done.

Got up this morning still feeling shit. Didnt want to school but mum told me that she wouldn't let me stay home.
So it waa then to swallow some pain killers, drink some coffee and get ready.
School started at 10.10 and I would go after lunch as I had to go to Mando. So really I wasn't at school long.

Lunch went well today, I ate fish and potatoes. But the thing was that the girl I sat beside just got up and left me sitting there alone. - thanx bloody much. it's hard enough to be left sitting on your own for lunch without an ED.
But things went well. I mean at home I sometimes have to eat lunch/dinner on my own. So it wasn't a big thing to eat.

Also a strange thing happened today - did I mention that they're had been talk of weight and food last week?
Well today I had two girls come up to me and ask me my weight.
I just told them I don't know my weight.
But I got kinda shocked? I mean you don't just ask someone there weight? And do they want to know cus they think I'm big or small?
I don't know. I'm kinda stressing about it.

But anyway - I was glad to get out of there afte lunch.
I got a little bit of time at home before I headed off to Mando.

I only went yo Mando today because tomorrow I'm going to this meeting thing. They'll be the health minister, press, and other patients from Mando.
The staff from Mando are going to do presentations and then there's 6 patients who are going to talk. Some are healthy - some are still in treatment.

So today was just a talk through , so we know what we're going to do.

So tomorrow I'll be at Mando ....
I have 4
Minutes to talk - got to get practicing - hehe.
Nervous... But I think it will go OK. :)

Hope everyone's had a good Monday?
Damn the weekend goes by fast :)
And I found out today that I'm going to be the first of the 6 patients to speak - Ajhhhhh


  1. Eh, weird people to just come up and ask about your weight... You just don't do that whether someone looks skinny, big or normal.

    Sounds exciting to talk to the health minister and the press! I did a kind of similar thing when there was people over from New Zeeland to learn about mando. I was pretty nervous too, but it went fine :) I'm sure you'll do great tomorrow! :)

  2. That's really rude, people just coming up to you and asking about something like that. People just don't do that... strange. And I can't believe the girl you sat by just got up and left? That's so terrible! Who are these people? haha. At least nobody I know is like that.. that's just so rude. :/

    Today went pretty well, but then tonight after band practice I found out that the quartet won't be able to practice on Sundays after all (the day we were planning on practicing, and I also have my lessons on that day, so it's really convenient for me since they all live 10-15 minutes away but I live an hour away). We all have too many conflicts on that day, from our youth orchestra performances and all that. So we're now going to rehearse either wednesday night or thursday night, which is really hard for me driving two hours (actually more because there's lots of traffic around that time) on a school night with all my work and stuff. Plus if it was on wednesday I would have to drop marching band- which would make everything less stressful, I would have so much more time and all, but it would be so hard because marching band is so so so SO much fun. On the other hand, if it was Thursday which we are pushing for, I would have every single day of the week full except Tuesday. Which is just completely psychotic. But I think that is most likely what will happen... :o But even though it will be busy, I'll get to do the fun things and the great opportunities at the same time :) So I've just been really stressed out about all the scheduling conflicts tonight, but other than that things are going well :)

    The eating is going okay right now- i'm still not eating breakfast or snack, but I usually have a 300 cal lunch and a bagel with cream cheese after school, another 250ish cals. And after band practice I have dinner, usually about 500 cals, and a snack later around 10 that's usually yogurt with cereal or graham crackers, maybe 300-400 cals. So now, looking at that- it's still not up to "normal" i guess, but i'm doing better than before at least! Slowly working my way back up :) Back before summer, in April or May, I never would have thought I could ever eat over 1000 calories, more like barely above 400 as a limit. But now, it's so much improved, even if it's not quite up to normal :)

    I hope your presentation goes well tomorrow! Everything will go great :) Good luck!