Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Monday, August 22, 2011

i would rather eat a carrot then a cinnamon bun.

I still get these queesy feelings about junk food.
   Even somedays im like... No... im not going to eat bread. I dont want carbs.
Sounds pathetic right?

I mean.. i enjoy food. I can eat a pasta dish and be like, Damn this is nice. But still some days im like. No.
  All i want to eat today is fruit.
 Of course, at the moment its not possible.

I wish i didnt get these type of thoughts, I mean, they're not always there. Somedays im like, I really want ice cream. A normal teenager.. But somedays Anorexia kicks in, and i feel sick thinking about eaint something like an ice cream. It varies.
 Yes please!

No thanx. 

Its not aways like that. But i do still get funny feelins about junk food and so.
I still havent eaten crisps or chocolate.
Burgers, fries.
But is that necessary to eat to actually get healthy?

errrrmmm? Help?


  1. I feel the same as you all the time... I think that I don't want carbs and all I want is fruit and I don't want junk. I'm not a professional, and I'm struggling too.. But I need to convince myself that carbs are good. They are our bodies' main source of fuel. We need them. We can afford to eat carbs.

    I'm looking for inspiration for someone to be strong and lead the way out of this mess because I'm having a hard time trying to escape this ED. :'(

    Please help.

  2. It's the same with me a lot of the time. Sometimes I will just not be able to eat anything like that, but other times an ice cream or chocolate or something sounds really good. Which I don't like, I want it all to sound bad, but it's a sign I'm getting healthier? :) But I do love fruit, it is SO good.

    Wow, your school IS tiny!! My class has at least 250, and the whole school is over 1500 I think. And that's interesting, you get out at different times every day? 8-4 is a long time! I have school from 8-2 every day. I used to have an extra period so I would go till 3:30, but not anymore :) School today was pretty fun. Nothing important really happened, it was just like it always was last year.. just kind of there haha. But I can say.. I do not like having to stay up late doing assignments again :/ Today after school I practiced flute in a school practice room for an hour and a half, then had a meeting with our band director about band events I'll have to miss for solo flute and orchestra, and then I had marching band practice till 8. Got home at 8:30, had dinner, and didn't get started on work till 9:30. aaahhhh. It's 1:15 now, I'm just getting to bed, hope Tuesday is going well for you!

  3. Im not like that everyday.. im some days im like.. nope.. im not going ot have my normal snack, im actually going to buy an ice cream or something. :) But of course.. not evryday im like that either!

    To anonymous... carbs are ok. They're healthy. I mean, in a way. you cant avoid them either. I mean.. if you only eat carbs, then i think it would be bad.
    But eating some rice with dinner, or eating a sandwich.. thats not unhealthy.
    But i know where you're at.
    There was a stage wehre i refused to eat bread. i wouldnt let them put it on my meal plan.
    And potatoes or pasta seemed like the worst thing possible. But in reality, potatoes and that arent so high in calories. And a little bit eveyrday isnt a bad thing.
    I wish i could say im an inspiration, but in reality. I really amnt. I mean, i have my ups and downs... like everyone and im not completely healthy yet.
    But i mean, if you ever want to write to me, or like comment here, i'll answer any questions, or general jsut answer :) i know where you're at, what you're going through. And in the end, you'll get through this mess. Its no impossible. Its hard work.... its a struggle everyday, but if you keep fighting, it gets easier, and there will be a day when you dont care about your body, about what you eat.. i mean, im half way there.

    To Smile -
    Sounds good about that somedays you can think an ice cream is nice, or whatever!! Yes... fruit is the best!! i think strawberries have to be my favourite!! :)
    Wow... doesnt sound easy having so much to do!! Getting home at 8? Usch.. i get home round 2-3pm... 4.30 the latest.
    Thats if i dont do anything after school anyway.

    Well.. Tuesday didnt go so well... :( But whatever. :)
    Hope your Tuesday has gone well!!! :)