Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com

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Friday, August 5, 2011

Dont tell me i cant do it.

In my head i keep telling myself, i cant do it. I'll never get healthy, there'll always be something. I'll never be free, always sick. I may not look sick, but i will be.
   Thats what i keep telling myself.

But finally... im letting go.  Im gonna stop telling myself that, stop telling myself that im gonna fail.  Because i know i wont.


Im not going to fail, i'll get healthy... or mentally healthy, body wise, im healthy now.
 
There will be tough days, it would be kind of strange if every day went perfectly, or that i didnt get angst... or whatever...??

Yesterday however, my mum had to go to this meeting at 6 o clock... dinner time. and the meeting would be roughly 1,30 hr so i coudnt eat afterwards... and i didnt want to eat at 5pm...
   so it was up to me to sort myself out.

I knopw what some of you might be thinking - catrastrophe?? 
   Isnt this what was wrong the last time, that my mum couldnt be with me all the time?

I was nervous adn dint want her to go... i can manage snacks and breakfast on my own, but lunch and dinner are harder.
   I didnt think id be able to eat on my own, but i told mum that she should go.
Becaus ein the end... i cant rely on my mum being with me 24/7... when im in school i ahve to eat lunch with my friends... i have to be able to take control of my own life. to eb abel to eat my meals whether someones with me or not... and ot be able to eat right.. :)

I was very nervous.

But when it came to dinner time, i jsut got out the food and prepared, pasta with Quorn bolognaise.
   And it went fine to eat.... :)
Hahaha....  :)

And also..... im able to sit and relax!!! Never been able to do that... or ive been taking more responsibility...

so im definitely thinking... well... why cant i get better?
 
And ive also got soem  very good news - My best friend form Ireland is coming over. :) Only for a few days in October.... but i think it will be good. the last time seh saw me face to face was over a year ago, and i had jsut gotten out of the psych ward which i had been in for 3 months.... hadnt gained any weight, jsut lost.
   It was the day before we moved to sweden. and shes told me now that shee was scared.... seeing me like that.. she described me as dead. 
  Nice???


But i can twait for her to come.. to see me Alive!! To see me happy...

:)
 

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