Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Sunday, August 28, 2011

The angst is ripping through me like a knife through butter.

The angst is ripping through me. My head is pounding.

Its not angst over food, i dont even know whats brought on this feeling.
   Its jsut general stress adn nerves and not feeling well.

I feel shit, i feel tired, i dont want to live.

But everyone is smiling and telling me i look so great, i dont look sick at all.
   Cant they see whats going on inside of me?
Cant they see the pain?

I want this to end, i want my whole world to end.
  I dont feel like living, i dont feel like carrying on....

I dont know why im like this... why all these thoughts are coming?
Maybe its jsut cus im feeling weak at the moment, at a low and now its like Anorexia is taking its chance, taking its chance to fight and try to conquer me again? I dont know.
   But i dont like it.

Im going to sleep, trying to let this moment, these thoughts just pass.
   I cant deal with them.

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