Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com

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Friday, July 22, 2011

Relief and success!!

Hey there!! (:

As you may - or may not know. Since Wednesday's ive been having my long permission. Basically 3 days away from Mando!! Yay!!
I admit - I was nervous.
Last weekend when I was home there was a bit of arguing. Mainly my fault. So I was scared that the same thing would happen. :/

But - it hasnt!!!
Nothing. No arguements over food. Even though once or twice I did feel panic coming on. And I did want to argue and refuse to eat. But I kept myself silent. I Actually didn't need to use any of my angst dampening tablets. Which is good!!

My long permission started on Wednesday where I went to this theme park with my sister. We were there for 6,5 hours. So that took most of the day.
That night I was so tired that I actually feel asleep at 10.30 - can never fall asleep before 11.30.

The next day - Thursday. It was like something had happened over night.
Some of you may know that I have a bit of an activity problem. Meaning that I'd rather stand then sit - dont ask me why I'm like that.
But on Thursday. I sat. I relaxed. All on my own. and no panic or fidgeting. I didn't feel the need to get up. In all honesty. I didn't want to get up.
You may not realise how big that is. But it is. I could never sit or relax on my own accord. Actually - I was getting better at it.
But it's weird. It's lke something happened over night.
I also followed my meal plan exactly. No cheating. But ive done that all the time since i came back to HDV... 3 months now. (Ive atually not cheated with my meal plan.. not once. an not at home either :):):):) )

When we did go for a walk later though, I started getting all these exercise thoughts.
We weren't walking fast enough, long enough, and I got all these thoughts of running and running. Never sitting down. Always exercising. I got cross at myself. But all I could think was Exercise.
In the end we walked for roughly 1hour 30.
I was pretty tired when I got home and the thoughts of exercise had faded. So it wasn't that big deal to lie down/sit down when I got home.





And then that was my thursday.

Today - Friday. We were planning to go to town, but as the sun came out we instead drove out to this beach where we swam, tanned and I even fell asleep :)
That was pretty much today!! Relaxing and taking it easy.









^^FROG!^^




My dog is the weirdest.... look at her legs.





These 3 days have gone really well! Making me see that somedays will be bad, bur every day doesn't have to be.
And by me being able to sit abd relax I'm starting yo think that - maybe I actually can get healthy. for real. COMPLETLY.

But in the end its my weight that matters. So I have to wait and see tills tiomorrow to see if things have gone well, and whether I get to come home or not!!! :)

4 comments:

  1. Haha, love Daisy's way of sitting :D

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  2. Yay! Glad that your stay at home went well :)

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  3. I'm so SO happy for you!! :) Grönalund looks like it was a lot of fun. And I love that dress you're wearing today, it's really cute and looks really pretty on you :) I'm going off to flute camp today in a couple hours so I don't really have time for that long of a comment- but I'll be back next Sunday, and there will be LOTS of new photos on Tumblr :) haha. Hope things go well this week!! You deserve all these good things happening :)

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  4. great that these changes are happening! its really important!congrats and keep it up!

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