Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com

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Saturday, June 18, 2011

Anger and attention seeking

I think, that I have anorexia because I'm attention seeking and cus I'm angry.

Angry at myself
Angry at my family
Angry at my life
Angry at the world


Just angry. So I'm taking it out on myself.

Not eating. Not letting myself relax. Self harming. Pushing myself past exhaustion. Being mean to myself.

I think I'm just angry.

And attention seeking.

I've always had attention, due to my CF. In fact, it's been my sister that's been forgotten about... Or not forgotten. Just, I've gotten more attention then her.

I've hidden the self harm scars and I hid the anorexia for a goid while before anyone Realised. And I hid the truth about how I was getting worse, now in revmcovery.
But I still think I'm attention seeking.

Today - I got very angry, and suddenly. The house looked messy. So I resorted to cleaning. It helped. I focused on something else. And then when I was done, it was tidy and all the angry feelings gone.

I find that I can go into panic if it's messy around me.

I think somewhere, I wanted some sort of attention, or I was so angry pr something..... So I decided to inflict this damage upon myself.....

It's just a theory. A guess.

??

Night everyone

X

2 comments:

  1. That makes sense, I see that in myself too actually.

    Well, I'm off to Europe tomorrow... :D I'm so so so excited it's crazy. So I won't be reading or commenting for the ten days i'll be there, but i'll come check how you're doing and tell you about my trip when I get back :D haha. So now I have to get to bed, I have to get up again in 3 hours to go because I have a really early flight :) So I really hope things go well for you the next 10 days, I'll talk to you when I come back! :)

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  2. Jag tror fortfarande att låg självkänsla är problemet. Det ger ett otroligt stort bekräftelsebehov från andra eftersom man inte har lärt sig att bekräfta sig själv.
    Du borde testa att läsa Du äger! av Mia Törnblom, bara för att se om du känner igen dig ;) Det gjorde jag och plötsligt förstod jag varför jag var som jag var.

    Hoppas du får en bra söndag! :)

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